The thread titled "Road Rage, Biker Edition" started me thinking. I've only had a road rage incident once in my years of cycling. I mean, I've been passed too closely and cursed drivers under my breath. I've been threatened by a crazed redneck and got close to pepper spraying him. But I've only lost my cool once.

I was riding to work through a housing development. When I say "housing development", I don't mean a neighborhood. I mean a sprawling semi-rural development of homes on 1 acre or larger lots. There's no traffic to speak of, and I suppose I was a bit further into the lane than I usually take, but I hadn't been passed for 10 minutes or so.

Next thing I know, there's a car matching my speed on my left. The driver is a morbidly obese woman who is red-faced with rage, screaming "GET OUT OF THE ROAD!!!!", repeatedly. Now, I had just climbed a hill, and had Megadeth playing in the one earbud I was using, so my testosterone was pumping. My response? "GO F*** YOURSELF, YOU DONUT EATING MANATEE!!! ARRRGGHHH!!!!". She looked shocked and rapidly accelerated away from me.

Not the classiest thing I've ever done, but I did laugh to myself the rest of the way to work.

Sometimes I'm sure it's really hard to stay cool with the idiots out there, and there are plenty of them. I just try to remember the fact that a car vs. a bicycle is no competition, so I just say "Yea OK!" and ignore them.

Emptied pretty much a full water bottle inside a car once. Was crossing @ crosswalk (MUP crossing), driver lurched forward in his car. Looking over my shoulder for the oops, sorry shrug and got the pointing finger hahahahaha. Turned around and asked what was so funny, and got a tirade with many vile words. I had not much more to say to the dude, so he got a nice cool sticky drink of water/gatorade. I felt much better after that.

That is hilarious!
IMO if someone crosses a reasonable boundary (such as yelling at you out of their own ignorance) then it is legitimate to maintain that boundary. While the insult (funny as it is) might not have been the best choice, I seriously doubt the woman would have responded to anything other than some form of strong verbal response.

I've come pretty close to losing it a few times, but the worst I've actually done is this:
- a pretty haggard looking ninja salmon cyclist was headed straight for me in the bike lane, with heavy traffic going 35-40 mph right next to the bike lane (i.e. no way out) - after braking and moving right (to make him go on the traffic side) I yelled "Dude, ride on the correct side, please". He said "I don't care". I said "**** you!". I was pretty furious (the whooshing cars had my adrenaline up, as did the encounter). In my mind's eye, I turned around, chased him down and beat him to a sobbing pulp. Yeah, I know.
I didn't, though, but it took a few minutes for me to cool down. I don't know why this particular situation got to me, but it really pissed me off.

Other than that, I tend to ride pretty level-headed, with the odd boundary thing - like yelling "hey! I'm here!" to a right hooking car, etc.

kojak, you get my first, +1

i am however constantly aware of the car beats bike formula.

i just can't help it sometimes though.

i think the worst thing i did was spit on a livery cab for cutting me off..., in the rain. :|

livery cabs are, THE WORST. "terrorists", the lot of 'em, i tells yuh. Total reckless disregard/disrespect for cyclists.

if i could wish them all away, i would.

Normally I'm pretty level headed and shine stuff like this on with a "whatever" shake of the head, but this was one of those days. I had several things going for me too; I had already crossed the street and circled back to the passenger side of his car so I was on the curb, he was in his car on the street and stuck in traffic. He was smaller than me and no firearms in view. The road and MUP path diverged from one another so it wasn't likely he could lay in wait somewhere. The only part of me that felt a little remorse is that I didn't do any favors for my fellow cyclists in making a hater a raging hater, but in this guys case I think that the degrees of separation between these two states was pretty small.

All these stories amuse me. I don't know why, but I hardly ever get verbal harassment from motorists. It could be due to my size (6'5" 200lbs) or something, but hardly anyone messes with me. The ones that do have only ever said "You're not a car, *******"

I did lose my cool to a couple of teenagers near my old high school that were saying things to me, but that was because I hate that school and most of people in it.

At least every other day. What's the matter w/you guys? This is WAR, don't you know?

hahaha, reminds me of 90 percent of the people here in Oklahoma. so many fat disgusting people here! My wife and I are definitely minorities here, and when I say minorities i'm referring to BMI under morbidly obese. We just moved here and are surprised on the amount not only lard a$$'s but how many people that are just plain disgusting. lack showers, don't brush teeth, have the worst manners. I don't understand where they come from, but wow, it is a real eye opener, or eye closer depending on the severity of cottage cheese thighs. oh and yes people here are ignorant to cyclists, I commuted for a few weeks on some busy roads. NEVER AGAIN, peoples IQ's are probably on average 30 points lower here and I am not putting my life in their hands. I stick to neighborhoods now, but in those few weeks i had things thrown at me, water, wrappers, even coke cans. Everyone here believes that you should be on sidewalks, i rarely took the lane, gave plenty of room for people to pass, but they are Hillbilly pieces of crap and white trash marlboro smoking dirty *****s!

on a positive note, I love the trails here, love the sunshine, my job and my entire family lives here. I have a year left on my contract here, don't know if I'll stay, but in the next year I plan on visiting parts of California, Arizone, Oregon, and Colorado. I'm an experienced trauma nurse and don't think finding a job anywhere will be a problem, at least google told me that, hahaha

It's hard to be too mad at someone here in NYC because there is usually too much going on for me to care. I try to leave everyone alone and I have to say I'm quite impressed with the lack of trouble. I do sometimes tap or knock on a car to remind them that I'm there.

sounds like you capitalized on a golden opportunity, IMO.

there is however another thing that i remind myself of besides car beats bike and that is, "Same road, same time, same bike, same guy." a truly vindictive SOB can be there for you, same bat time, same bat channel....

Be careful if you visit Portland.... nearly overnight, you'll be transformed from a highly compensated trauma nurse into an impoverished frame builder sleeping on a futon mattress in an old warehouse trying to figure out how to make a buck in the bike business. You'll have a voila moment and build a bike that has huge market potential, roll it out at the NAHBS and then Trek will "borrow" the design and sell thousands of complete bikes for less than it cost you to build just the frame. No one knows how this happens, but the stories are true.

Most of what I did in response to drivers that I felt had attempted to take my life due to "inattentivess" or simple apathy in my earlier years would land me in jail today. Several people who ran me off the road, into parked cars, etc. paid by receiving thousands of dollars of damage to their cars or homes. I don't regret any of this, but I do recognize that today I would go straight to jail. I am 100% for a "retribution" exemption for attempts on your life. I feel that if someone attempts to kill me through inattentiveness or maliciuosness, I should get the first strike of retribution, not the state.

....same bat fight....

Last summer some fat ***** in a minivan honked as she passed me. I was riding straight as an arrow in the center of the bike lane, and she had more than enough room to pass me safely without getting close to the bike lane. I flipped her off and said some stuff that she couldn't hear, and she slams on the brakes and waits for me to catch up. She proceeds to start flipping out on me saying that she was warning me. I tell her that is bull**** and cyclists don't need to be warned when they are doing nothing wrong and that they ****ing hate when drivers do that.

She ended up zooming off in a huff obviously thinking she was the one in the right and I was just an ungrateful crazy cyclist jerk who would have swerved in front of her if she didn't "warn" me. I should also mention that her teenage daughter was sitting in the passenger seat between us and looked absolutely mortified. I hope she was like "Mom that was so embarrassing I hate you!"

I'd rather kill them with kindness. A genuine smile and a wave usually seems to infuriate them more.

i don't lose my cool, I know what happens when stupid people get challenged, they usually do stupid things. like turn a 4000 pound car into a weapon, or heaven for bid someone sold them a gun and now a person with below average IQ now has a gun and has a cyclist spouting off outside their car window. I'm skewed though, I work in a high acuity trauma center and get to see all the tards from the city doing stupid crap.

I've only lost it once. I was on a three lane road that was only three lanes for about one block. The road was a small one way that was just there to join 2 main road in my town. One of the larger roads in my town (another one way) Y's off and on direction goes straight and the other direction goes left onto the road I was on. The road I was on had three lane, one for going right, one for going left, and one for going straight. My apt was on the road that was straight ahead, so naturally when I took the Y I got right in the middle lane and tried to make it very obvious where I was going (I try to always use hand signals when I turn and make sure drivers know where I am going), suddenly the car right behind me comes flying up next to me in the right lane and some large lady rolls down her window and starts cursing me out and then suddenly takes off, suddenly cuts me off and gets into the lane going left. I yell "F#$% You B#$%^" and throw her a bird and spend the last mile of my ride pissed. Now looking back on it I feel stupid, but hope that that lady feels more stupid.

So apparently obese and jealous women have the most hate for cyclists.

Just the most outspoken!

Since starting riding in February, i have lost my temper twice where I went full on crazy.

First time was on a three lane road, if you get the timing right on the lights, you can beat all the cars over the bridge and get in the left hand lane. I was there. Some fat moose shouted across all the lanes to me to get off the road. I was amazed. I am very careful not to "get in the way". I responded in a similar way and told her to get off her posterior more often and she wouldn't have that weight problem.

The second was when, after effectively being nudged / forced off the road, at the stop sign I didn't completely stop. I wanted out the way of the crazy man in the car. As he went past me he then criticized my lack of a stop, so I then started explaining that you can't force people off the road. All at 17mph...

Of course my English accent in North Texas may also confuse them somewhat.

I am now chill. I don't like getting mad. It spoils the ride.

I've lost my temper twice since i started riding in June. The first time i was in the left lane shared route coming down Second Ave. in NYC when a minivan comes up behind me and starts honking. He comes on my right goes left in front of me and stops. He yells out his window "Find an F---ing bike lane a-- hole". So i screamed back I'm in a "F---ing Bike Lane. Look where the hell you are before you open your mouth".

The second time I was going through an intersection when a car makes a right about 5 feet in front of me. I jammed on my breaks and he did when he saw me and he starts waving his hands everywhere. So I told him "F-ck You A-- Hole.

The lady who right hooked me last week got closer than anyone else. But all I really did was called her an *******.

A couple of years ago this FAT kid who was driving a POS shot me a bird approximately 20 feet before he hit the red light. So I come along side of him and I looked directly at him, and shrugged, held up my hands and said "What do we do now big boy?"

Well, I must have been friggin Houdini. Because I think I vanished right before his eyes. POOF! He looked through me as if I wasn't even there.

Uh-huh. that's what I thought chief...

Flip out? Not recently. My worst flip out was after a guy sideswiped me. I was waiting in an LTO lane and he sped through a right-on-red from my left, came really wide into my lane and hit me with the fender blister on his duallie. Spun me down and broke my pannier, bloodied up my leg, etc. When he had the audacity to stop so he could tell me how he was going to sue me for the damage to his truck, I picked up my bike and broke his windshield with it, then kicked out a headlight for good measure. The situation did not end well for either of us.

My most recent was just last summer when a guy stuck in traffic thought it would be funny to swing right and block the bike lane as I was approaching. Since he wasn't going anywhere I stopped, got up on the sidewalk next to his passenger window, pressed a big sweaty assprint on the window, and then rode off on my way.

Far out! Was this all in Bellevue?