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I saw a cop talking to a salmon last night.

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I saw a cop talking to a salmon last night.

Old 07-03-12, 10:59 AM
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I saw a cop talking to a salmon last night.

I was driving home (way too hot to commute here this week) on a side street that gets a lot of traffic from people who look like they're walking or riding to or from work, and noticed a salmon slowly pedaling the wrong way on the street. I though about saying something at first, figured it wouldn't change anything and just kept going. I got about 2 houses past the salmon when I noticed a police car approaching from behind, and I could see both of them stopping. No telling what they were talking about, but I'd be pleasantly surprised if the cop told the salmon he was going the wrong way.
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Old 07-03-12, 11:14 AM
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I encounter salmon riders occasionally, and they all tend to look like someone a cop would stop even though they were riding on the correct side.

Too hot? Then you need to ride faster to make more cooling wind. I'd do almost anything to avoid 2 horrible situations: sitting down on a cold car seat in the winter, and sitting down on a steaming car seat in the summer.

-G
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Old 07-03-12, 12:00 PM
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Saw my first one this morning while riding. The MUP splits and goes around some trees and this guy was riding toward me on my side of the MUP. Since it goes around the trees the MUP is only half as wide as it would be if it were one wide lane. He had no clue he was doing something wrong.
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Old 07-03-12, 12:06 PM
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I find that most people that use an MUP don't really know what they are doing, it's not just the salmon. The stripe down the center usually means nothing.
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Old 07-03-12, 12:09 PM
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I ran into (or, was almost run into) by one in a clearly marked bike lane this morning. No cops around, so he had to hear my stock scatological opinion on his intelligence. (dumbs**t)

Originally Posted by gmt13 View Post
Too hot? Then you need to ride faster to make more cooling wind.
-G
+1
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Old 07-03-12, 12:50 PM
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The majority of all people on bicycles in SolCal are Salmon riding on the sidewalk. If they are riding on Walmart cheap full suspension MTB I can almost guarantee they are salmon.
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Old 07-03-12, 01:51 PM
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Personally, I admire salmons. I rode against traffic on LA roads a few times and, frankly, having all those cars coming at me at 45mph is one of the most frightening sensations ever

(tho, honestly, its not like going with traffic is any less dangerous, since cars are still whizzing past you at those speeds and then you can't even see them. But acting like a vehicle makes you more predictable, so the cars can react to you better than if they were heading head-on to you, I guess).
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Old 07-03-12, 02:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Koobazaur View Post
Personally, I admire salmons. I rode against traffic on LA roads a few times and, frankly, having all those cars coming at me at 45mph is one of the most frightening sensations ever

(tho, honestly, its not like going with traffic is any less dangerous, since cars are still whizzing past you at those speeds and then you can't even see them. But acting like a vehicle makes you more predictable, so the cars can react to you better than if they were heading head-on to you, I guess).
It's been brought up before, but do the math:

-Against the flow of traffic: speed of car PLUS speed of rider= speed at time of impact.
-With the flow of traffic: speed of car MINUS speed of rider= speed at time of impact.

So, without taking any other variables into consideration and just using random numbers...

45+10=55 or 45-10=35.

Feel free to play with the numbers. It really starts getting scary if you make the assumption that the salmon is riding even faster...

ETA: regarding the bolded part? Mirrors were designed for this reason. They come in handlebar, helmet, and glasses mounting configurations. Do a bit of searching here and in A&S, as there are all kinds of threads dedicated to the topic.
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Last edited by no1mad; 07-03-12 at 04:32 PM.
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Old 07-03-12, 04:25 PM
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Doesn't that fall into state Fish and Wildlife jurisdiction?
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Old 07-03-12, 05:12 PM
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Sorry for the dumb question: so Salmoning is going against the traffic? I thought it was someone who was weaving between cars in traffic (in city traffic).
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Old 07-03-12, 05:25 PM
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Originally Posted by chefisaac View Post
Sorry for the dumb question: so Salmoning is going against the traffic?
Salmon, named for the fish swimming upstream against the current to spawn.




I thought it was someone who was weaving between cars in traffic (in city traffic).
That would be slalom, as in alpine ski racing.



Obviously the two are not mutually exclusive - you might see a salmon slalom until he removes himself from the gene pool.

Last edited by Drew Eckhardt; 07-03-12 at 05:32 PM.
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Old 07-03-12, 05:36 PM
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I only slalom peds, AKA flesh pylons
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Old 07-03-12, 05:40 PM
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Originally Posted by no motor? View Post
I was driving home (way too hot to commute here this week)
I've skipped because it's too cold and rainy, I don't think I would ever skip because it's "too hot" out. Drink more water.

Originally Posted by Drew Eckhardt View Post
Obviously the two are not mutually exclusive - you might see a salmon slalom until he removes himself from the gene pool.
LMFAO. Spawn mission fail.
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Old 07-03-12, 05:44 PM
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I doubt the cops in most places even bother... there's so many of them that you can't possibly make any dent. If the rider is riding a BMX or walmart bike, he/she is more than likely on the wrong side of the road.

Originally Posted by no1mad View Post
45+10=55 or 45-10=35.
Yes, I'm splitting hairs, and this doesn't really matter in any way... but assuming a 3000lb car and a 200lb bike+rider, 45+10 = 51.56mph impact to the cyclist, and 45-10 = 32.81mph impact to the cyclist.
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Old 07-03-12, 06:31 PM
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it's a good thing that most wrong-way cyclists are going slowly. The few times I've come upon a wrong-way cyclist that was going fast, the closing speed was scary. It is potentially lethal
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Old 07-03-12, 06:37 PM
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^^ Well, I did say "without taking any other variables into consideration"...

All I know is that a) my life insurance is paid up (worth more dead than alive right now), b) I'm a Clyde @235 lbs., so I'm fairly confident I'm going to leave a dent if I get hit, and c) I may suck at math, but I ain't gonna let it stop me from riding.
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Old 07-03-12, 06:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Hoshnasi View Post
If they are riding on Walmart cheap full suspension MTB I can almost guarantee they are salmon.
Originally Posted by degnaw View Post
If the rider is riding a BMX or walmart bike, he/she is more than likely on the wrong side of the road.
I prefer the company of people who are not smug Sons of a Gun who believe that their bike provenance awards them a special status to judge other cyclists.
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Old 07-03-12, 07:07 PM
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Originally Posted by I-Like-To-Bike View Post
I prefer the company of people who are not smug Sons of a Gun who believe that their bike provenance awards them a special status to judge other cyclists.
As with most stereotypes, however, there is a grain of truth to degnaw and Hoshnasi's comments. That being said, I've seen all sorts of dreadful and dangerous behaviour on the part of people riding "nice" bikes too.
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Old 07-03-12, 09:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Hoshnasi View Post
The majority of all people on bicycles in SolCal are Salmon riding on the sidewalk. If they are riding on Walmart cheap full suspension MTB I can almost guarantee they are salmon.
I wish it weren't true, but it is.
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Old 07-03-12, 09:41 PM
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Originally Posted by nelson249 View Post
As with most stereotypes, however, there is a grain of truth to degnaw and Hoshnasi's comments. That being said, I've seen all sorts of dreadful and dangerous behaviour on the part of people riding "nice" bikes too.
Yes, and the salmon I encountered this morning was on a "nice" MTB.
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Old 07-04-12, 02:16 AM
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Originally Posted by I-Like-To-Bike View Post
I prefer the company of people who are not smug Sons of a Gun who believe that their bike provenance awards them a special status to judge other cyclists.
It's called an observation, not a judgement...
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Old 07-04-12, 06:04 AM
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I love to cook.....and eat salmon!
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Old 07-04-12, 08:11 AM
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Originally Posted by degnaw View Post
It's called an observation, not a judgement...
My observation is that posters making "observations" about the behavior of people on "Walmart cheap full suspension MTB" or "riding a BMX or walmart bike" are just substituting bike brands for their judgmental stereotyping of people who don't match the observers' approved social, racial and/or economic profile.
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Old 07-04-12, 08:49 AM
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What most slaloming salmons don't understand is that salmon slaloming is far more effective on a road bike.
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Old 07-04-12, 09:39 AM
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Originally Posted by degnaw View Post
It's called an observation, not a judgement...
I have another name for it, and that DOES involve a judgement. Seriously not cool degnaw.
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