My wife has told me she is becoming more concerned about the safety of my commute.

I commute around 500 miles a month. I feel and look great, I'm strong as I ever was and really enjoying my time on the road. I do realize it's not without risk, and I accept them.

We lost a dear friend 15 years ago when he was hit from behind. Then there is the tragic death of Heather Boyum, and now the death of local rider Bill Hubbard is beginning to scare her...

So I asked her what she would like me to do and she wants me to not commute to work. And to just go ride in the country on the weekends.

I understand her concerns. And I don't want to be selfish. I feel my route is *relatively* safe. And I have been riding for 25 years in the road. I actually think it's gotten better in many respects...

She is the love of my life, but I think she's worrying a little too much.

She loves you...

I dont have any specific advice, but this is heart warming "I have been riding for 25 years in the road" and shows you have plenty of experience in anticipating other road users. Being hit from behind? Yeah, well can't do much about that except leave it to stats/chance.

My biggest worry is I get distracted by something interesting and show up late to wherever I'm going. The rest, not so much.

You can't worry about an activity and stop doing it just because it's tainted with death. Everything you do is tainted with death... you just aren't that original, anything you're doing has already been done so many times that somebody's unlucky number has come up, just through pure probability. If you worry about it all, you get overwhelmed and wind up doing nothing.

Careful, responsible bike riding is pretty safe, and safe is boring. I'm not saying go out and take additional risks on purpose, but that your wife may be getting a distorted view of reality, here. Safe isn't newsworthy. Safe isn't something people make a fuss about. Every time a rider hits the road (or off road) on his bike, and arrives at his destination safely, nobody notices and nobody cares. It's only when he has an argument with a mac truck and ends up with his head in five pieces that people stand up and take notice. The news articles and the anti-bike types can ignore all those hundreds or thousands of rides where nothing happens, because they don't serve their agenda. A person legitimately trying to get a feel for how safe the activity is, they shouldn't be ignoring the boring.

I'm not a mental health care professional.... but my advice is to keep talking to her and show that you take her concern seriously. Don't blow her off with "I'm perfectly safe honey". I'm not sure there are accurate statistics to show if cycling is safer than the car IN YOUR AREA. Then there is the per rider or per mile, etc, etc, etc. Perhaps the way to view riding is that it *might* be riskier but your track record indicates that you are not a careless cyclist. And the long term health benefits may outweigh the risks. Can you promise her that you would stop commuting if you felt it became unsafe (for some definition of unsafe)?

You do have life insurance such that if something were to happen to you (cycling or otherwise) your wife would not be eating cat food on the street, right?

Thanks to the great city of Houston, my commute is 100% safe. Bicycle commuting is such a big part of my life now, I think I would move or change jobs to make it happen safely. I think there are lots of cities working on installing bike path infrastructure. Baton Rouge, LA being one that I heard of recently.

I read your post to my wife over coffee. She said, "The most recent cycling death was a guy getting hit early on a weekend morning, wasn't it?".

For us, me getting exercise and mental happiness via cycling far outweighs any risk.

Respect her wishes and stop commuting.....

Yep. I have been the recipient of panicky "Please call and let me know you're okay" voice mails when there have been news reports (thankfully few) of female cyclist injuries or deaths in my commute area. I have left similar voice mails on my dad's cell when I would hear of accidents along his regular route (he was a truck driver).

People who love you will worry. It didn't keep my dad off the road, and it doesn't stop me from commuting. Nothing is guaranteed to be safe. Consider this: I had a scheduled meeting at work the day the 35W bridge fell in Minneapolis, a meeting that required business attire, so I would have driven instead of biking. I would have been on that bridge if I hadn't called in sick with a migraine. And while falling bridges are less common than being hit by a car, we can at least take measures to protect ourselves from the cars.

I worried for the first few months. My wife still worries, though I think she worries less than she used to. We've negotiated some agreements about when and where I'll ride. The biggest concession is that I don't ride at night if it's raining.

In the end, you both need to be happy with whatever you decide.

do you text or call her after you get to work or before you leave for work? That was one thing my wife asked me to do so I do it. I also wear a RoadID as well.

I also upped the life insurance so she will be taken care of if something does happen.

You might also consider giving her the number of a coworker so if she does not hear from you in the morning, she can call this person.

Share your route with her as well. I have directions for her, showed her, and GPS file for her if something does happen. And if I go off the route, I let her know.

Its all about piece of mind.

No. I just try to ride smart.

My wife may worry, but if so, she doesn't let on about it. She's worried about me when it rains, in which case I worry a little more, too; I choose to walk with an umbrella if it's bad enough so that I don't have to think about drivers at all.

I was actually thinking that having her ride with you on a "dry run" to your job might put her worries at ease.

Thanks for the comments.

She re-stated this morning that she didn't actually want me to stop commuting on my bike, but she does want me to have the camera on the bike as much as I can. (really more often that I have been carrying it lately...)

We do have good insurance, and an equally good supplemental life policy. However the comment on insurance has got us both thinking about STD/LTD insurance too.

Whenever there is a tragedy, especially when it hits closer to home, it can have that effect on people. "Too much bad news can create an uncomfortable atmosphere for those of us who have loved ones on the road.." to quote her from this morning.

I did tell her that I never would want to marginalize her concerns. She's really cool about it too, but I told her I would do better about having the GoPro on the bike, and try to be as cautious as I can. She also knows I'm always watching out for the other folks because I know they don't watch out for us...

She won't ride with me unless it's in a park or a MUP like the Silver Comet Trail here in Atlanta...

Sorry, I know its not particularly helpful. I just couldn't help it with the thread title.

Chef is right. Everyday when I get to work I post a small note or pic (Lots of times a flower from the web) on her FB page and when I leave I text when I will be home. It is good for relationship, too.

My wife worries. However she knows that my mental and physical health is better when I ride. And I have a life insurance policy that will pay off the house and send both kids to college.

If you don't take any chances in life, you aren't really living.

I saw on the news that 4 people got killed this weekend in car accidents, but that doesn't stop me from driving. It's been over a year since I've seen a news report of a cyclist getting killed in my area.

My wife doesn't like me commuting by bike, just as she didn't like my motorcycle commuting before that. I've really compromised on many things, but I had to draw the line somewhere and two wheeled transport is one thing that will never change. Its as safe as any other form of transport and has me in great shape... which offers health benefits, thus reducing my risk of health problems. All in all the benefits far out weigh the risks.

YYYEEEAAAAHHHH, YYEEAAAAHHHH, YYYEEEEAAAHHHH!!!


With a love like that...you know you should be glaaaad.


Seriously, though, my dad used to worry about me and I just kept commuting. Now he doesn't voice as much concern although he probably still worries as much. He knows I've been at it for a couple of years now, so he probably can figure out that I'm either a safe rider, I ride in a safe area, or both, which is the case.


Getting hit from behind is what worries me most, too. I need to get one of those helmet mirrors. Do you have one? If not, having one of those might help set her mind more at ease.

Yeah, I do have a helmet mirror. When I'm commuting, I feel naked without it.

Good idea about giving her a call when I get off the road just to ease her mind.

Yes, I'm a very lucky guy! 25 years August 19th.

As we were putting it to bad in our conversation yesterday, she was quick to point out all the benefits of riding. I'm in good shape, and I have saved about $130 or so a month in fuel costs in the past year. Pretty significant. I hope this winter is as mild as last one was...

I'd be more worried about riding in the country on weekends. Those drivers are moving at a much greater speed than my commute, and they're less likely to expect a cyclist in their path.

My wife worries too. I've come to realize that if she's not worrying about my commute, then she's worrying about some other facet of my life. She's just a worrier by nature and has to channel it in some direction. I'll take reasonable steps to reduce her worries but I've accepted the fact that no matter what I do I'll be unable to remove every worry she has.

I think, that you can try to ease her concerns as much as possible. Put a camera on the bike, ride off the street as much as you can, and try to stick to less travel streets.

I think you're handling it well. This spring there seemed to be a rash of people we knew getting hit or having close calls and I starting second guessing what I've been doing. I just keep reminding myself that there is no completely risk free way to get anywhere. Cycling is slightly more risky than driving a car, but MUCH safer than a motorcycle. (If I remember right, its like 20X safer) Then there's the risk associated with having a desk job and not riding regularly...

I worry about getting hurt so I can't ride. I did sprain my wrist last fall and had to take 2 weeks off, it killed me. Had to borrow a car one week (couldn't even drive the stick shift on our car, needed an auto), and drive the other week (which meant my wife could bike every day that week, glad it was good weather for it). Not sure if I could have gotten back on the bike at that point but I had 2 more weeks off due to travel (1 wk work travel, 1 wk vacation), and then I was finally good to go a month later (and 10# heavier).