In a paragraph or so...

I am the Black Ninja Stealth Warrior Biker. I commute for about 90 minutes (total) every day from +35C to -35C. All my gear is black, but to be legal I have front and rear blinkies and some reflective tape. I ride as hard as I can all the time and hate to stop for anything. I consider traffic signs and signals to be suggestions. When downtown I ride aggressively like a courier. I challenge vehicles, but am very courteous to peds. On the bike paths I ride like a racer. If someone passes me, the race is ON! When I get to my destination I am always soaked in sweat. I think my 2 MTB's are truly cool (way sick?) but I don't spend too much money on them either. Just enough to make them run sweet. I see a few others like me out there and we sorta acknowledge each other. I've been commuting for 4 years and I'm 48. When I'm riding silently at speed through the dark before dawn by the river - that's when I'm loving life.

I'm not trolling and don't want to hear about how bikers like me piss you off - I want to read about how you perceive yourselves as bikers.

I'm the black dragon of the north.
My bike is the embodyment of General Lee, the racing car on 'Dukes of Hazzard'.

Flat black, red seatpost, reflective tape racing stripes. And a red westcoastchoppers sticker.
I'm WAY snotty about my bike, I even know the name of the welder.
He may be THE BEST mtb frame welder on planet earth. I ride the bike as if i'm the test pilot (prototype frame).

I'm hell on wheels in town, though I run the vehicular laws to the letter..(except hand signals) I will hop curbs, ride sidewalks -always position myself @ the front of the cager pack at the intersection.

I've never lost a race across the intersection ever to a car. I have a lower tensioner that wraps up 4 more teeth on my 38T chainring and I can torque that drive so freaking hard. Zooooooooom. I'm outta there.

When I'm in the woods I'm pretty peacefull, lots of slow riding, little hiptricks, but I relax and enjoy the enviroment.
On the road i'm chasing people on road bikes, keeping up with the flow.
I always tell myself to pace...then I start spinning faster.

I need a NHRA sticker for my bike and I should use STP for chain oil.

GO-SPEEDRACER-GO!

A shiftless TeleTubbie.

Inside, I feel like a kid .....Outside, for some reason, I look OLD .....

That's it exactly. well said.

I'm riding a beach chair. I'm sippin' margaritas by the sea-side, mamasita.

relentless....no matter how far, no matter how tired, no matter how far bonked I am, swaying and unable to even speak, I WILL make it where I wanted to go.

Clown biker on meth, Chanelling Freddie Mercury singing 'bicycle race'

Eddy.

Deceptive, strong, poised, always attacking. ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK! In every situation.

In reality, I'm not.

Italy has recently adopted the "Slowfood" movement as a counterpoint to a society that seems to be based on the concept that faster is better. I am a one-man slow cycling movement.

Inside? Zen Master of the 64 Spokes. There is no self, only breath. Muscle, chain, bone, steel, blood, rubber; there is no boundary. Nor even from road and wind and traffic; all are part of the same flow of life and energy. Everything is simple: nothing wasted on body or bicycle.

Outside? Not so much. But it's good to have a goal.

When I make that initial forward motion upon my daily commute, Lance Armstrong comes to mind. However, as I merge with car traffic I feel like a rhinoceros balancing on a pogo stick. The attitude of a wild rhinoceros is within as I mingle in concentrated traffic. Than as I charge on to the bike path I find that I am a solitary figure on an isolated avenue. Only four legged shadows of creatures occasionally challenge the right of passage. This is when I think of my self as Lance once more and concentrate on form and cadence. Tunnel vision slowly encompasses my view. I start scaling gears to adjust to make up imaginary time lost. After 12 miles and at the end of my commute I find myself forming back to that rhinoceros and then I find that heavyset herbivorous attitude stays deep within throughout the day until I mount my 2 wheeled steed for the commute back to take on the other 12 miles. Now it is a race with other cycles as targets only to slow down and chat at even pace. When I arrive home I am complete and rest briefly. I then will load the tandem on the van and my wife and I will find a bike path and take our time to enjoy the ride and each others company for at this time we are just husband and wife.

Ditto that!

Hard to say what type I am actually but usually courteous and cordial regardless of what pulls up next to me or even passes.

Once or twice though I've encountered the Conceited and Unfriendly Supreme Biker Being who is riding the Colnago or Litespeed and was too full of himself and his bike to wave back. I made sure he saw my second wave as I passed him on a 1/2 mile long hill on my 20 year old fender and rack equipped Centurion...with panniers in tow.

I am loser bike geek. Hear me roar. Lube pivots I will. Salivate 531 steel. Cold. Strong

I am 12 years old, except this time I am strong and social and a winner.. I wave at everyone, I am careful not to buzz peds and I am careful not to get hit by cagers, but I am more environmentally responsible than cagers and fitter than peds, so deep down I am better than them. My bike may not be pretty, but it is useful, and I am loving it.

Just an ol' redneck in a dusty pickup scootin' around town gettin' groceries and such. While I'm out and about I think I'll just ride around and see what's going on.

A photon dancing through the cosmos, weaving lazy spirals at the speed of light.

I am a rider of Rohan fighting those giant elephants on Pellenor fields. Dodging in and out, they trumpet and flail. Can't catch me!

Maybe, if I get upset enough, I'll fly between their legs and cut their tendons.

Rapunzel

I'm like the spider, if left alone I'm fine. But if messed with or if someone falls into my web, it's on. I find inner peace on a bike, especially early in the morning and late at night. If somebody tries to race me, I blow by them like a spider onto their prey.