This is a different sort of question about something which shall not be named but which may be gleaned from the context. I'm serious, asking for a brand, model or DIY version that would fit these parameters. Since it is a sensitive subject I'd prefer that all refrain from ancillary advice regarding its use or the wisdom thereof.

I've currently used Schwinn and Bell brands, the lower end the better. So price is a consideration. The primary intended use is adornment - although safety features are respected they are secondary in this application. In my experience these designs are cumbersome, aerodynamically unsound, and lack air flow.

What I'd like to see, if such exists outside of the rarefied price levels, is something smaller. Thinner, with less material and more air, perhaps less encompassing yet still recognizable as a variety of that which shall not be named. Even if not meeting the certification standards. Is anyone aware of a product available off the shelf?

If not, I'm envisioning something like those headlight straps that circle the head and one strap over. Maybe two straps over, but front to back and not as wide. Beefed up with a quarter inch or so of padding or foam. And preferably held off the head's surface by means of a netting suspension. What do you think? Is there one, how would you construct one?

I think there was a question in there somewhere............

As I started reading I thought I knew what you are asking but now I am not so sure.

Are you asking for a well-ventilated, low profile, inexpensive...er, adornment?

I don't think it exist but if you find it let me know and I will buy one too.

I have seen such adornments with each of those qualities but none with all of them.

(to be clear, inexpensive to me means less than $50.)

Correct!

Or less, I am imagining something on the $20-$30 range.

There is a style called "hairnet" you might find suits your needs if you can find one used in a garage sale for a few cents...

- ANdy

Are you trying to strike a balance between a worried wife and a sweaty head?

That said (or rather asked), I got no ideas.

you'll have to go used because no one would in US would manufacture something that doesn't meet current standards.

Vintage Leather Bicycle Helmet | eBay

or look where maybe they don't have standards

https://www.classicsteelbikes.com/pro...ycling-helmet/

I would be careful about used helmets. Make sure you clean it thoroughly before ever putting on your head unless you have a buzz cut or are bald. Secondly, you can not be sure of it's structural integrity though you mention that isn't really a concern. I think the 'hairnet' is the best option but if you're trying to appease a worried SO the hairnet may not fly anyway.

I am assuming aesthetics are a non-issue for you. Perhaps you should buy a large child's helmet at a garage sale, remove the plastic outer shell and then add the venting you need. You would get the lower profile, the venting and the price you want.

I picked up a Giro Bishop up pretty cheap

Those are exactly what i was talking about! They are minimally protective, however its more than scalp will do by itself for sure. A few people ive seen around use them, but they are not riding anything speedy. Most of the ones ive seen are all black or black and white.

- Andy

I remember the leather ones fondly. But wouldn't buy one to wear unless it was NOS. (And those colored reproductions don't really capture the look very well.)

(And I wouldn't wear one regularly. Just on low speed rides with my wife.)

Amazon.com : Modern Warrior Tactical M88 ABS Helmet with Adjustable Chin Strap (Black) : Airsoft Helmets : Sports & Outdoors
got you covered!

Nice!!

- Andy

The old.... hair net helmets! Perfect for giving the allusion of a concern for safety. Yet without actually reducing the risks of head injury.

I really don't think they offer any "protection". They merely appear to offer protection... that is why the design was discarded.

Were it not for a helmet, I would not be alive now. Oh wait, you don't want to hear about it. Sorry.

that one is close to what I'm imagining. Bear in mind that it doesn't have to be marketed as a bicycle safety device.

For those who were wondering, it's not to appease a worried spouse. She has more confidence in my avoiding a head bump than even I do. It's for general appearances.

That's a decent idea, although I have an old Schwinn/walmart topper* I could trim down. And some fake carbon fiber looking vinyl to replace the plastic, it might wind up looking fairly sharp.

*I dont want to get anyone riled up on the topic, so maybe euphemsisms?

If it's for appearances, then you're saying you want to give an impression to someone. Who is this someone?

That sounds like a prelude to evaluation of the objective. If so, while I'm sure that it would be informative and perhaps imaginative, alternative solutions supplanting the requested features are not being solicited. Or if you're just curious, I'll tell you if you show a relevant product link or DIY idea.

Fine, you want something that looks protective and isn't, here is something not yet presented. I even sold a few of these in 1980.

https://vanscyoc.net/blog/archives/737-Skid-Lid.html

You have to get the matching goggles... jus sayin'

It is intriguing but looks a little heavy.

The intention is to satisfy the nannies of the world at large.

Protection is a secondary consideration - meaning less than the primary, not looking for "not protective".

Are you saying you'd like it to be comfier than all the current offerings? I don't blame you. If you find something, I think many of us would be grateful to hear about it.

apparently, there is a big trade off in bike helmets between protection from a huge injury and protection from something smaller such as a concussion. In other words, they don't (yet) know how to make a helmet that protects in boy ways. Because of the political environment, all development is going towards the huge injury and not improving at all for concussions. Not good!

Yes, and if possible less stupid looking but that's asking too much.

I was afraid you were going to argue with me.

Ok, here are some things i've found....

https://www.futureearthdirect.com.au...FSwS7AodhycAMg

Cool 24 Vents Sports Cycling Helmet - Orange + White (Size-L) - Free Shipping - DealExtreme

JSZ EPS Outdoor Mtb Road Bicycle Cycling Helmet with 19 Vents Sports Helmets

JSZ EPS Outdoor Mtb/Road Bicycle Helmet with 18 Vents - US$9.99

As far as those hairnet leather helmets & protection..... it's scraping leather vs scraping scalp, was my point...

And for a laugh........ Oh my what were they thinking?!?! https://prntscr.com/456dar

- Andy