So, I am forced to commute with my spouse this week, who seemingly wants to be law officer to the whole world and everyone in it. We were at a light in our car and a commuter pulled up in front of us into the crosswalk. Better he had pulled in behind us but no matter. My spouse proceeds to roll down the window and go off on "this is why drivers don't like cyclists" rant on the poor guy. Jesus. She needs anger managment. I think the woman is going to get a bullet in the head some day on her commute. Its not worth engaging everyone for every little percieved slight.

So,,,,,,if you were the guy who got a load put on ya this AM, a big so sorry from me. Commute on, stay safe all.

Sounds like grounds for divorce.

Its horrible, its very horrible. People can't live that way. My stress level is over the top from this stuff. Sweating the small stuff really makes life miserable for everyone. God I feel awful. I need to find that guy and apologize. It was in my own neighborhood as well, which makes it worse. And, we have a bright yellow car to boot. Not like that gets you forgotten in a hurry.

Assuming I understand the situation...

So the cyclist was intending to continue the same way as your car? Why did the guy pull in front of you if that's the case and not alongside or behind as you suggested?

I can't say I feel too bad for the guy. He seems to not have any consideration for anyone else. Too bad your or your wife didn't insist he explain his rationale. I'd like to hear it.

So, it wasn't me, but if I did something like that and got yelled at I wouldn't have much to say in response.

It happens - an experienced commuter can often shake that off. Don't worry about it on his account.

He pulled up to my right front quarter in the sidewalk. OK by me. Yeah, he should have just got behind us. I was signalling left, so he was going to take outside on my right(assuming I am not brain dead and go straight and kill him). I cut folks slack. I sort of get the idea that he wanted to be seen. OK there too. City riding in traffic has a tough learning curve. I just don't find it good to go off on people. Tone is everything. A positve "hey! could you be careful and maybe line up behind us for safety" was not the way it worked out.

I engage people I don't like sometimes in my line of work. Getting angry at them drives them off and they don't listen. Most people engaged without hostility listen better.

Human interaction. Can I go live on an desert island now please?

I am doctor. I care a lot about other people. And I commute by bike often. Yeah, people shake it off, but I remember a much kinder and more civil Seattle that I miss very much. I don't want to be the new breed of A-hole that populates many big cities. Sigh...

Road rage isn't necessarily a personality trait. As a doctor maybe you have the capability of helping your wife deal with it. Not that it's any of my business, but just a suggestion to look into it.

I would have said "wow hun, I feel really uncomfortable when you do that, imagine if it was you or I and someone was telling at you from a car?"

- Andy

I see you are in West Seattle. I used to live there, for 10+ years, and still commute through there/go there frequently. As you know, there's a real lack of bicycle infrastructure in the area. Have you tried explaining why the bicycle commuter would do that filter? If your wife was making a left turn, the cyclist took the safe and reasonable alternative to filter in front likely to get a jump on the traffic behind.

Do you mean he pulled into the "crosswalk" not the "sidewalk?"
And in West Seattle, the intersection you were at most definitely plays a role in the cyclists decision to make that move. There's some intersections at which I queue up and some at which I (legal to do in Seattle BTW, at the cyclists' discretion) filter to the front.
I would not have reacted well to ANY driver making a suggestion for ME while I am riding. I could make MANY suggestions for drivers but you think they would take the comments well? Not likely.

...My ex-husband was a road-rager and at times I refused to ride in the car with him - he made ME feel unsafe many times. At least he never did it to a cyclist. I think he knew that would be a very, very bad idea.

Lord knows I have tried. She has gotten better over the years. I do notice that when I am back East, people pretty much unload on each other at a whim. East Coast style is much more in your face. I am old NW style. The old Scando-Japanese ethic. The wait at the stoplight even at night mentality. I like the Dutch. While in Amsterdam I witnessed folks (tourists) walking in the bike paths. Big no no there. In the most flat but direct tone I ever heard, a Dutch women tells this tourist "you are walking in the bike lane. Please don't do this as you will be run down and killed. Thank you. " Worse yet, they say that in English to the tourist! Amazing people. When I win the lottery I am going to give wifey the car keys and move to Holland or Denmark. What great cycling cities.

It's called filtering and it's generally legal and in many cases the safest move. Being out in front of cars at an intersection means they're more likely to see you before they do things like make right turns or change lanes. It also gives the rider a chance to get through the intersection at close to the same speed as cars and in the long run is less disruptive to the flow of traffic.

I doubt there are many commuters out there who operate without knowing that a small percentage of drivers are seething with incoherent rage just seeing them out on the road. Generally speaking, I'm more concerned about distracted drivers anyway.

Its the 5 way at Erskine and California. Left from Erskine to Cali. I personally would not filter there as the oblique straight ahead makes it an effective right hook even if the car is going "straight". I always queue up in those places so I have someone in front or behind. Same when I drive the car. Being next to people is far less safe on the highway than being in front or behind.

I rode Vashon a few weeks ago. I must say, you guys need some road work over there. I hit some nasty pavement over on the west side of the island. I was glad I was not on skinny tires that day. Then I ground out to the east side to hit the lighthouse. It was really hot and there was no shoulder. My bad on route picking. Vashon somehow is always both beautiful and a challenge as well.

Exactly. Biker's choice to filter or follow. Viewer and rider discretion advised!

As usual my take is ... different. I don't see this thread as being about driver/biker interaction at all. The o.p. has made us into front row spectators of intimate marital interaction, or non-interaction as it were. The poster who suggested making a teachable moment out of it is IMO on the right track. Physician, heal thyself. Sounds like you have an unhealthy marriage on your hands. Would I be remotely correct in that speculation o.p.? I have encountered way more volatile female drivers than male ones. Being inside a metal cage allows many women the empowerment to interact verbally and in other ways with individuals they would otherwise cross the street to avoid. Just this week my wife and I witnessed a woman at a stoplight screaming at the driver of a small scooter stopped ahead of her. Don't know what he did but she didn't like it one bit. She was f-bombing him to death, but he was trying hard not to react to her. At least she didn't hit him. I have seen a YouTube video of a woman who did just that, after arguing with a motorcyclist for several seconds she just hit the gas and rammed him! Hard! The issue as I see it is that this woman who would roll down her window and engage a total stranger who has insulted her propriety, is the o.p.'s spouse! This forum is not the appropriate place for that avenue of discussion. About the driver/biker thing... yawn... another day at the bike lane.

H

I have cranky drivers, or pedestrians yell at me from time to time. It was daily back in Albuquerque, and is a rarity here in Roanoke, VA. It rattles me for a moment, then, thanks to the bike, my mind gets back to work on the ride, and I blow it off. I do have a rule when I drive that folks who yell out the windows in my car get tossed out of the car where ever we happen to be. I don't haul rude people around. SInce I'm single this has only effected my kids and their friends. It takes only one time to change the behavior.

My SO is the safety person at work, and she doesn't bike commute or ride very often. We often see bicyclists behavior differently, and have different views as to what is safe and what isn't.

I get yelled at so infrequently (twice over the past three years) that it does stay with me. I question my actions, ask others to justify them, and generally am unsettled on the road for a couple of weeks. :shrug:

OP - Tell your wife how her yelling makes you feel, and explain how what the cyclist did wasn't dangerous.

Ah, yes, that's a nasty intersection. And full of impatient drivers much of the time. It's also a slight (slight) uphill for those on Erskine eastbound and a short light. I've done it on a bike...and going eastbound crossing California it's worse for a cyclist as one has to ride up the steep hill to 41st, to get to Fauntleroy and then to the main bike route out of West Seattle. Or one has to make a right southbound into a lane that ends and where drivers "push" cyclists to the right as they cut the corner. I much prefer myself to filter up front of vehicles if I am going straight or right. It puts me in front of them and gives me right of way immediately so I can maintain my position - the sidewalk there as you know is really not an option. I would only not filter if vehicles are parked alongside the lane and a filter route was blocked, or if I was making a left turn as well. Sounds like the cyclist did exactly like I would do. And your wife needs to stop yelling at people she doesn't know.

Vashon is great - the roads can be rough (I live on west side) but once you know where all those patches are it's awesome. It smells good, little traffic, nice drivers for the most part. But it'll kick your butt. Those hills are no joke. West Seattle is now a walk in the park.

This, muchly.

I'm usually too focused on actually operating the vehicle (my bike) to engage with nutbars yelling out of their car. They don't even realize that the open window they are tantruming out of is like a hole with their face in the middle, ripe for the punching it they ever wanted "feedback". I'm not a violent person, in fact I abhor violence, but there are some out there which do not share my peaceful demeanour. Road rage is a good way to get injured, shot, dead, and in jail. I enjoy riding too much to give my power over my own life over to some person acting inappropriate.

- Andy

I had a guy pull along side a while ago in a convertible and I thought he was talking to me, so I yelled in a winded tired voice (louder than I expected), "What did you say?" Turned out he was on the phone and the ear piece was in the side I could not see. So I mumbled sorry I thought you were talking to me. It was like high school all over again.

I just assumed he was berating me for being in the road and in the left turn lane; I stereotyped him and was woefully wrong.

OK, so when I approach a red light, in order to avoid slowing down traffic, I safely make my way to the front of the line of cars, stop beside that vehicle's passenger side front wheel, give him or her a nod and an indication of what I'm going to do, then proceed across the road when the light turns green, waving cars on to let them know I am aware that they are coming up behind me.

This has worked like a charm for several years, and usually earns me a wave or a lip-read "thank you" from the driver(s). Am I doing something wrong? Now that I think about it, if a motorcycle did that to me, I'd be pissed. But with a bicycle, it seems this is the best and safest way to approach a light, given that only one driver has to be concerned with your position, rather than a whole line of drivers trying to calculate their speed and distance from one another and from you on your bicycle.

PS: No need to respond, but if your wife is a more than a casual drinker, this is a common knee-jerk reaction when she has not been drinking.

Wow Ether you are really worked up over this. You say you cut folks slack- cut yourself some slack too (and your spouse). Maybe you will see this commuter again and you can tell him you feel bad about what happened.

This post is interesting to me. A lot of times motorists are pissed at me when I'm on my bike and I wish I understood why. Maybe I would modify my riding habits if I knew what it was that upset them.

Do any of you have "bike boxes" on your commutes? Basically where a bike lane terminates at an intersection and bikes pull left into "box" in front of cars but behind crosswalk?

Yes, this is my usual procedure as well and seems safest since I can make sure I'm clearly seen by the first motorist in line and will be safely across the intersection before I have to interact with anyone who's farther back. And under some circumstances I'll do what the OP's spouse was so irate about. For example, on my ride home today I noticed that after I had positioned myself as above another car was coming up behind me in the bike lane and wanted to make a right turn. So I pulled ahead a bit into the cross walk (no pedestrians in sight) and just far enough to the left so he could make his turn on red. Then as soon as we got a green light I pulled over to the right so the straight-through vehicles could pass easily. No one was delayed in any way by my presence - so it's hard to understand why anyone would be upset.