Things that annoy you theoretically
 

Have you ever posted on a forum asking for advice and gotten the wrong advice? What I mean is, say you want to do X to your bike. Maybe X is something a little out of the ordinary, but it's still possible. Then somebody – let's call him Mr Unhelpful – comes along and asks Why do you want to do X, that's stupid. So you say, Well, I have my reasons. Now, Mr Unhelpful may actually not be trying to live up to the name we've given him; he may be asking Why because he genuinely wants to help you achieve your goal, and knowing why will help him help you; calling it stupid is just his gruffly charming style. Or, he may actually dissaprove, and is posting to dissuade you from doing something he considers to be grossly abnormal and beyond the pale (he's actually itching to call the police). Hopefully it all ends well and no duels have to be fought.

What I'm getting at is, I now feel I owe yankeefan an apology for being Mr Unhelpful on his thread Things your fellow commuters do that annoy you. He started that thread with a simple question: What annoys you? (for example, people not getting immediately to the point). It shouldn't need a subtitle saying If nothing annoys you, find another thread to post in, or start your own to bask in your zenlike calm. In my defense I could offer that I was drawn to the thread as part of my missionary work to spread zenlike calm through the universe. Although there's a grain of truth to that, any student of human nature will know that missionary work often doesn't end well, and for a good reason: people can form their own beliefs, thank you very much.

I came to see the error of my ways thanks to jhill44, who asked

"Shoaling" doesn't in fact bother me; I don't do it, but don't mind if it's done to me even though nine and a half times out of ten I'm going to be passing them anyway. But going to the head of the line does offend my sensibilities in a theoretical way. It's a legitimate gripe. That is a thread for gripes. This is a thread for theoretical gripes.

http://www.prettygoodbritain.com/pics/skirmish.jpg

Helmets
I'm a live-and-let-live kind of guy; I don't mind what people wear, as long as they don't try to make me wear it, too. My problem with helmets is that eventually they will cause an actual war between cyclists, and I abhor violence. This is the [real] reason I've set up a monitoring station.

Trackstanding
I don't want to talk to you to interrupt your concentration, but I wouldn't mind giving you a gentle push to see what happens: would you be able to compensate? Were I to give in to this (theoretical, remember!) urge, I would be charged with assault. I feel the laws should be changed to allow for the satiation of normal curiosity. Anyway, if you're wearing a helmet, you should be OK.

Don't get me started on the possibilities of a domino effect should there be more than one of you trackstanding next to each other.

http://www.notanothercyclingforum.net/pics/dominos.jpg

Unwanted wheelsuck
Many is the time I've been sucked in as if by a tractor beam (will we have tractor beams in the future? All the science fiction shows seem to think so) against my will. Once I ended up miles from my desired destination because I couldn't break free.

Bells
The traditional bell is actually rather nice, aesthetically. My problem with bells is they make me feel I'm being summoned, as if I worked at a hotel and you want somebody to take your panniers up to your room. At least tip me.

Traffic laws
Don't get me wrong, I follow them. But like spare_wheel

I also harbour a certain fondness towards those who feel the rules don't apply to them. I'll explain why later in another post, or an edited version of this one, but I've got to run, I hear a bell.

http://www.notanothercyclingforum.net/pics/thebells.jpg

Traffic laws, cont'd
Laws are the oil we apply to keep society running smoothly. And yet, where would we be without misbehaviour? It's the safety valve keeping conformity from becoming too oppressive. It's a snare for logical fallacies (e.g., a "ninja" isn't being a very good one if you can still see him.) Perhaps nearest to my heart is that it represents freedom, if one of the less respectable faces of that happy state. And bikes are all about freedom.

I'm not sure if your post is genuine or if you are just trying to stir up some controversy, but I'll bite.

Very often, I will start a thread in which I ask for an opinion on a certain piece of equipment. I like to keep my threads clean and on topic, so I will usually request that those who reply stick with the subject and NOT try to steer the discussion to a product they think is better - or even worse, turn it into a debate over whether it's right or wrong to even use that product/piece of equipment in the first place. This happens with helmets and music players all the time.

Consistently, within three or four replies, someone will post something like "Well, I don't USE XXXX, never have, never will...and anyone who does use one is a disgrace." Or if I ask for specific advice on using a product I have already purchased, people will start spewing out all sorts of useless nonsense like "I don't own that one, so I can't help you, but I really think the XXXX is much better."

I, myself, am guilty of dropping garbage on these forums from time to time when I am bored or frustrated that I'm not out riding, so I don't want to be too harsh on people who do what I described above. These forums are designed to enable cyclists to help one another and BE helped by others, but they also have a certain lure for any cyclist who has an opinion and nobody within five feet who wants to hear it.

I'd say that about 75% of the time, these forums are the most priceless resource I could ever wish for. Other times, they become a battle ground for miserable, angry people - or a place for cyclists to blow off steam over something non cycling-related happening in their lives. Overall, I find I can filter the "wrong" advice most of the time and get to the information I need. For anyone who has forgotten (or is too young to remember), there was a time when people used to actually get together and have live, in-person discussions about things, and those discussions often included a lot of gibberish, bs, and soap-boxing, too. But in the end, everyone walked away friends - maybe even better friends than before.

It’s not just about giving/getting advice, it’s also about having fun… Making jokes and such, sometimes at the expense of others or ourselves. Doing this without butt hurting (too many) others is the key. There’s no reason to ever be condescending or mean, but hey, that stuff happens on forums sometimes. Especially on controversial topics.

Like firearms or clipless pedals... :crash:

:beer:

In this vein, there are two topics I focus on:

• Rearview mirrors (as an advocate); My peeve are the naysayers who comment that they don’t use mirrors with the implication if not outright comment, “Why bother.” I have even tried to argue “What is the harm.”
  
  
  Quote:

  ---

  Originally Posted by Jim from Boston (Post 16931659)

  Well it’s now Saturday afternoon, and I just finished a 60 mile ride while pondering my use of the mirrors. Yesterday I tried to reassess my position about the utility of mirrors by asking the questions, What are the downsides?... When would mirrors be dangerous?…

  ---

• Prevention of eyewear fogging in the winter: Often various subscribers will post their remedy as THE SOLUTION, without describing their riding conditions, namely temperature and distance (time). I have found that often these simple solutions fail at colder temperatures.

I hope the advice I give is persuasive, but not dogmatic.

Addendum: I think a significant reason some posters reply in a negative fashion is that they may relate to only their own situation. For example a rural rider may not see the importance of a rearview mirror for an urban cyclist dealing with more numerous and spontaneous obstacles.

You're asking the wrong question - what you really need to make a thread about is flu shots.

I wouldn't call it stupid because that's not my style, but one of the things that annoy me is the ruining of a nice '70s-'90s road bike to make a "fixie".

My Gripes:
I wish I was in better shape. (this is on me)
I wish our country wasn't so car centric. (this is on well, everyone)
I don't have any real gripes about other commuters or cyclists. Be positive, ride and let ride, and don't endanger others.

And by the way, I don't HAVE any fellow commuters. I'm all by my lonesome out here in Syosset, New York. :(

The thing that annoys me the most in theory is that cycling and its resources are so sport/performance orientated here in the US.

I appreciate that we have more choices now than ever before, but it often seems to come at the expense of marginalizing, if not outright disregard for the more relaxed and utilitarian side of cycling at the average LBS.

Way off!
Ask about the peculiar Portlandia position on fluoridation of drinking water. It might explain annoying advice.

I am genuinely uninterested in stirring up controversy. I post for the same reason I cycle: to have fun. That is the spirit in which I started this thread. My idea of fun frequently involves writing with tongue in cheek, occasionally serving a soupçon or more of surrealism, and having an excuse to play with pictures. If any controversy should slip in, that wasn't part of my master plan.

Everyone that joins this forum does it for their own reasons. Some are seeking camaraderie, others seeking advice. Some have made it their mission to make BF the be all end all of bike knowledge and resources (but let's face it there will be only one Sheldon Brown) and create a thread for every new piece of cycling accessory or apparel they get. B O R I N G

I'm here to learn a little but there's whole internet of information for that. I do like the fun threads like this that pop up from time to time. It keeps things interesting around here. Sometimes I'm drawn into some debates about meaningless issues. That can be fun too. Arguing about traffic infractions and discovering the meaning of life are why I log in, after all. Theoretically it does bother me when some members feel that threads like this somehow take away from the more important and pressing matter of taking bike riding too seriously. I'll call those the 'librarian' members. They like to hang out in the no fun zone of the forums where only cordial and informational discussions are held about things like what gloves are the best and where to store your gross bike shorts while at work. That's cool if you want to be a square, but don't kill my vibe. If I was the only one around here that's nuts I would have left a long time ago. Lucky for me that's definitely not the case.

Also, theoretically, the search function sucks.

Happy new year!

edit: if any of the forum members are actual librarians, I'm not singling you out. Promise.

It's theoretically possible some cyclists haven't heard of Sheldon, so I've prepared the following short biography.

Sheldon Brown (July 14, 1944 - ?) was or is a bicycle mechanic and a recognised authority figure, WWSD ["What Would Sheldon Do?"] having become a self-policing strategy in the cycling community. His technical knowledge is the stuff of legend, and The Times of London described his beard as "a magnificent chin curtain his hero Abraham Lincoln would have sported if Mary hadn't threatened to secede."

http://www.anothercyclingforum.com/pics/thebrowns.jpg

Brown was born in Boston in the back of a bike shed. His formative years were spent tinkering. He quickly worked his way up to bodging and before he could even shave had graduated as a Crackerjack mechanic, where he sometimes joked he got his diploma.

Brown had a particular talent for disassembling then reassembling bicycles with enough parts left over to make another bicycle. This became a small family business. It later merged with Harris Cyclery, where Brown spent the rest of his publicly known career as the tech guru and webmaster. He briefly lived in France in the late 80s where he was often mistaken for an Amish missionary.

In 2006 Brown was forced off upright bicycles due to motor neuropathy. The following year he was diagnosed with multiple scloerosis and in February 2008 was widely reported to have died of a heart attack. However, his doctor later confessed to having accidentally signed a prescription for Viagra instead of a death certificate, so Brown never officially expired.

There have been unconfirmed but persistant reports that Brown currently resides in the English seaside town of Hastings, where he is the tech guru at the Hastings Home for Retired Hipsters & Couriers, repairing wheelchairs and dispensing advice to some of those influenced by his actual missionary work for the fixie religion. He is said to have arrived with Elvis (himself on his way to a rugby match) on a bus of tourists from France where he had moved after the hospital mixup, "rumours of my demise greatly exaggerated."

Awards
• The "Genius, But Modest" medal given by the (Frank) Nobel committee of Stockholm, New Jersey
• Proclaimed Top Hat King by the Massachusetts Milliners Association, which is a largely honorary title
• Droit du seigneur rights in the Côte d'Azur

http://www.anothercyclingforum.com/pics/browncert.gif

Notes
Beards come in all forms, some more beardlike than others. The study of facial hair is a fascinating field in its own right.

Bodging is accepted as college credit in the better schools.

Hastings is said to be twinned with New Orleans. Nobody in New Orleans seems to be aware of this. New Orleans is in fact twinned with Juan-les-Pins, in France, so there is a connection. There is however no connection to Austin.

Couriers are well known for their trackstanding. The Home has a special room set aside, filled with residents who have remained perched on their unmoving bikes for years.

Elvis had a bike he called Hound Dog. This is one way that facts rise from fiction.

Rugby is a game for real men, with or without beards.

Thanks for that biography. I have been an avid, but lone cyclist in Boston since 1977, but had never heard of Sheldon, until I read his obituary in 2008, soon before I joined Bike Forums.

I have since visited his comprehensive website, and read his tribute to the Bridgestone RB-1, that I learned much later after its purchase what a classic it was (since totalled in an accident). His ShelBroCo Bicycle Chain Cleaning System is a paragon of his mechanical aptitude.

I had never heard of Harris Cyclery, and even passed it on several rides before and after his alleged demise, but did not even notice it. Afterwards I did buy a trunk bag there, though it is not my LBS.

My loss over those many years. :(

Good thread. That's a hell of a certificate.

I post threads to learn something. Believe it or not my threads come with a lot of thought before they are posted. I don't need to write the whole background or history all the time. When someone replies as a troll or criticizes or mocks my thread I either rephrase my post or try to get it back on track.

When I reply to posts, I am intending to share my own experiences so I hope that the original poster may take it into consideration even if he doesn't take my advice.

Yes, Sheldon's website - but not Sheldon - lives on, and long may it live. My first attempts at wrenching my own bike (without pliers, screwdriver, and a hammer as my only tools when I was a kid) were initiated by Anybody's Bike Book, written by Tom Cutherbertson and illustrated by Rick Morrall. I bought that book just after buying 2 Fuji S-10- S bikes for me and my GF. It served me well. And now for something completely different..

I pushed my friend while he was trackstanding... pretty hard so he'd have to put a foot down. That SOB just sat there trackstanding and grinned at me.

905

Who are you?

I think we are playing the game "ain't it awful".
...when someone replies "why are you bringing that up this was settled a long time ago that X is always better and only stupid people would ever think that."
where X is equal to:
stiff/rigid
skinny
high pressure
aerodynamic
carbon
tire lever Z
arms over the straps
racing bike
straight block
brand Y
position G
supplement L
substitute your expensive item that nobody else will pop for here...

Although my father wasn't actually the contents of a test tube in an ice box, he did once work in a factory. It's also possible that every sentence in my head someone else has said, despite my efforts to come up with some new ones.

To be honest, I'm a bit of a fraud. I don't actually commute these days, as I work from home. To make up for this I usually go out on my bike in the middle of the day and do a big round trip back to my desk. I also frequently take it up to the nearest big city because once you fall in love with city cycling it's hard to let go.

You can use WD40 but you have to get multiple shots during flu season.

As everything is relative (being an only child things are far less relative), don't we all just get up from our desks ride around and come back to it (metaphorically speaking). I only through the metaphor thingy in 'cause I like the ((()))'s, understand some people use these to make cute face thingies.

Thanks for the bio, I really wanted to know.