Hey wait up! WAIT UP! Please wait up...


This is an old thread it looked like fun. I couldn't resist. I have no will of my own

Err . . .

Maybe you need to go on a long ride********************????

I'm so slow even zombies can outsprint me.

Well, yeah I do.

I'm so slow molasses lapped me twice last January........

I am so slow that the squirrels get through the spokes of my wheels.

I'm so slow, I'm just now joining a 3 year old thread.

Hey! Did you know this is an old thread?

I'm so slow that I just figured that out.................................:eek:

...I don't understand this thread at all.

I'm so slow.......that the seasons change before I change gears...................

I'm so slow it doesn't matter if I have air in my tires I still go the same speed.

I'm so slow that it would be faster to paste a stamp on me, and stick me in the mail box to get across town.

Seriously, when I go on a day ride, I count on 10 miles/hour. A metric century takes me a little over 6 hours, including stops, eating, rests, etc. 20 miles, 2 hours. 30, 3 hours. You could set a clock by me.

I'm so slow that when I ride time goes backwards and I'm a kid again.

I'm so slow, I got painted white and my wheels were laced with floral bouquets yesterday.

I'm so slow that i raced a glacier which melted before i could finish.

The State of New York has barred my Class F rides (negative MPH speed), due to time warp concerns. They didn't want to re-name their famous tourist attraction to Niagara Climbs.

I'm so slow that I envy you other guys because you're all faster than me.

Actually, to make a clock run backwards, all you have to do is to ride toward it really, really fast.

Albert Einstein is the guy who figured that out. I wonder if he was riding his bicycle at the time.

I’m so slow that… I was riding in the park the other day, and people kept having their photo taken standing in front of me thinking I was a statue.

This is not meant to hijack the thread, although it seems to me that it is OK to hijack a zombie thread.

These comments are very clever. Some of you would be a big improvement for Letterman. Probably any of you would be a big improvement for Letterman.

But I digress.

The ultimate simile for good climbers is "He climbs like a scalded monkey".

I need similes for really bad climbers. When I approach a big hill on group rides, I encourage people to go ahead of me while they got the chance because "I climb like the Titanic".

It's not bad but I know there is better material out there.

Can you help?

I climb like a lead balloon.

the only way to meet all the members of a ride is to start first.

I'm so slow that... I got ran off the road by a parked car the other day.

I'm so slow that my bike computer runs on a calendar instead of a clock.