I am unable to keep up with my headlight beam when riding at night.

The bride and I used to hang out in a club named "Lead Balloon".

Begone you Zombie

I'm so slow that I'd have to speed up to go backwards.

I'm so slow that I can't finish th.................

I'm so slow a spider weaved a web across my handlebars while I was riding! (look to the left of my thumb and you can see his web)..........LOL.......I was 30 miles into my ride btw!

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4054/...63b69d9457.jpg

It is said that you can see your future if you look into Chuck Norris' eyes.

Unfortunately, the future is always the same: death by round-house kick to the head.

I'm so slow I have walker style tennis balls - on my tires.

I'm so slow that "turtles" offer me bungie cords, when I'm climbling a big hill! ;)

I once won a race with a tortise. I passed him when he pulled off of the side of the road to take a nap.

I'm so slow my friends call me trackstand.

I'm so slow a snapping turtle helped me off the road.

I'm so slow on the last hill clime someone installed a placard on me and dedicated me as a town monument.

I'm not saying I'm slow, but they were paving a new trail on the route of my last ride, and they finished ahead of me.

On the ride before that, a snail jumped off my stem so he could get home faster.

On the ride before that, the speed display on my computer just read "Zzzz".

I once was pretty speedy but I've been slow ever since the team physician gave me opE .

The pharmacist probably couldn't read the script...

I'm so slow

I'm slower than Bert

I








am








so








slow






this








seems








fast!

I'm so slow my hair blows forwards in the wind...

Pokey1 says it all!!!

They have to tie me to the chicken to cross the road!

There's a full cycle of the moon on a normal commute day!

I had hair at the beginning of the commute to the store!

Concrete had replaced wagon wheel ruts on my daily commute!

The sidewalls of my tires rot before the nibs are worn off!

My beard got caught in the front wheel before I made to work!

I started getting liver spots before I made around the block!

I'm so slow That
 

I am so slow that is sight of a half an hour other riders are two days in front of me.

I am so slow that dogs that waiting to chase me die of old age before i get to them

I'm so slow that when I haul @$$ i have to make two trips

....everyone who passes me does a spectral red shift.

I think that's more of an "I'm so fat that...." entry ;) .

On my last ride, the badeffin' neighborhood dogs got lazy and sent a snapping turtle to chase me.

The immovable object just dropped me.

We're all so slow that, for this thread, the adbot just popped up an ad for a tricycle.