Drafting Guys Over 60
09-16-11 | 06:43 AM
#1
Thread Starter
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 232
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From: Pennsylvania and Colorado - Snowbird with bad sense of direction & humor... Retired now Ski Bum... My Ride - Montague - Paratrooper
Bikes: Montague - Paratrooper
Drafting Guys Over 60
Drafting Guys Over 60
This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier...
New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to
track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to
join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take
us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit
until you're at least 35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year olds think about
sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about
sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000
additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a
cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts, I can't
sleep, I'm tired and hungry!' We are impatient and maybe
letting us kill some ******* that desperately deserves it
will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.
An 18-year old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys
always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I
said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may
as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-*****.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where
we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number
would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting
screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also
developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them
for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the
screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've
been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope
hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after
completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've
never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still
learning to shave, and to start a conversation with a pretty girl.
He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to
shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little
more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The
last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off
old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know
that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!!
You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on
border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.
To make ths Cycle related.... Any OD Green recumbent bikes in surplus stores near you?
This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier...
New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to
track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to
join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take
us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit
until you're at least 35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year olds think about
sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about
sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000
additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a
cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts, I can't
sleep, I'm tired and hungry!' We are impatient and maybe
letting us kill some ******* that desperately deserves it
will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.
An 18-year old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys
always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I
said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may
as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-*****.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where
we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number
would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting
screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also
developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them
for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the
screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've
been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope
hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after
completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've
never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still
learning to shave, and to start a conversation with a pretty girl.
He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to
shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little
more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The
last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off
old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know
that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!!
You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on
border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.
To make ths Cycle related.... Any OD Green recumbent bikes in surplus stores near you?
09-16-11 | 06:56 AM
#2
Senior Member
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 572
Likes: 3
From: Florida Panhandle
I think Parris Island would be a little rough on me the 2nd time through, not to mention the 20 mile forced marches through the sand at Camp Geiger. I had a top rack (bed) in the squad bay, I could just spring up there. Could I have a ladder now?
09-16-11 | 07:00 AM
#3
Infamous Member
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 24,360
Likes: 7
From: Ohio
Bikes: Surly Big Dummy, Fuji World, 80ish Bianchi
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"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
09-16-11 | 07:04 AM
#4
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 17,197
Likes: 761
From: Ann Arbor, MI
Bikes: 1980 Masi, 1984 Mondonico, 1984 Trek 610, 1980 Woodrup Giro, 2005 Mondonico Futura Leggera ELOS, 1967 PX10E, 1971 Peugeot UO-8
Drafting Guys Over 60
This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier...
New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to
track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to
join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take
us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit
until you're at least 35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year olds think about
sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about
sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000
additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a
cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts, I can't
sleep, I'm tired and hungry!' We are impatient and maybe
letting us kill some ******* that desperately deserves it
will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.
An 18-year old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys
always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I
said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may
as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-*****.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where
we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number
would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting
screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also
developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them
for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the
screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've
been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope
hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after
completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've
never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still
learning to shave, and to start a conversation with a pretty girl.
He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to
shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little
more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The
last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off
old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know
that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!!
You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on
border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.
To make ths Cycle related.... Any OD Green recumbent bikes in surplus stores near you?
This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier...
New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to
track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to
join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take
us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit
until you're at least 35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year olds think about
sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about
sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000
additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a
cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts, I can't
sleep, I'm tired and hungry!' We are impatient and maybe
letting us kill some ******* that desperately deserves it
will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.
An 18-year old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys
always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I
said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may
as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-*****.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where
we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number
would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting
screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also
developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them
for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the
screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've
been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope
hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after
completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've
never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still
learning to shave, and to start a conversation with a pretty girl.
He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to
shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little
more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The
last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off
old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know
that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!!
You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on
border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.
To make ths Cycle related.... Any OD Green recumbent bikes in surplus stores near you?
09-16-11 | 07:44 AM
#5
Northern Rider
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 435
Likes: 814
From: Toronto, Ontario
Bikes: 1999 Litespeed Tuscany 105, 2007 Marin Palisades Trail, 2006 Burley Duet tandem
I thought this post would be about young folks riding in the slipstream of older riders, which happens to me from time to time. Oh well....
09-17-11 | 12:49 PM
#10
feros ferio
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 22,417
Likes: 1,882
From: www.ci.encinitas.ca.us
Bikes: 1959 Capo Modell Campagnolo; 1960 Capo Sieger (2); 1962 Carlton Franco Suisse; 1970 Peugeot UO-8; 1982 Bianchi Campione d'Italia; 1988 Schwinn Project KOM-10;
I have often thought it tragic that we throw away and otherwise ruin young lives on the battlefield. "In war, old men talk and young men die." With today's technology and high levels of fitness among seniors, some of us "space cowboys" might actually be reasonable candidates. I am 100% opposed to military conscription, but why not take "seasoned" volunteers?
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"Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." --Theodore Roosevelt
Capo: 1959 Modell Campagnolo, S/N 40324; 1960 Sieger (2), S/N 42624, 42597
Carlton: 1962 Franco Suisse, S/N K7911
Peugeot: 1970 UO-8, S/N 0010468
Bianchi: 1982 Campione d'Italia, S/N 1.M9914
Schwinn: 1988 Project KOM-10, S/N F804069
"Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." --Theodore Roosevelt
Capo: 1959 Modell Campagnolo, S/N 40324; 1960 Sieger (2), S/N 42624, 42597
Carlton: 1962 Franco Suisse, S/N K7911
Peugeot: 1970 UO-8, S/N 0010468
Bianchi: 1982 Campione d'Italia, S/N 1.M9914
Schwinn: 1988 Project KOM-10, S/N F804069
09-17-11 | 12:55 PM
#11
Banned.
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 20,915
Likes: 13
Maybe if all nations drafted only guys over 60, we would have enough sense to wave a flag of some sort to the other side and say - "Hey, why are we fighting? Care to join me for a cup of coffee?"
No?
Well, they did similar things in WWI.
No?
Well, they did similar things in WWI.
09-17-11 | 07:03 PM
#13
Senior Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 910
Likes: 2
From: Downey, Ca
Got a call from the Army about 5 years ago. Wanted to know if i might be interested in joining. WTF?. I asked if they had the correct name, he repeated it, and yes, it was mine. I said sure, why not, I will be right down, you could reactivate my Top Secret Crypto clearance, I could still hit a target at 700 yards, however my endurance might be a problem as i was 61 years old. Silence. He said he would correct the error, thanked me for my service, and to have a nice day. I was laughing the rest of the day.
09-17-11 | 10:33 PM
#15
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 11,013
Likes: 24
From: Tucson, AZ
Bikes: Custom Zona c/f tandem + Scott Plasma single
Maybe this time Dick Cheney could serve . . . he's old enough and had 5 deferments . . . here's a golden opportunity for him to get some real war experience!
09-18-11 | 01:59 PM
#17
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 17,197
Likes: 761
From: Ann Arbor, MI
Bikes: 1980 Masi, 1984 Mondonico, 1984 Trek 610, 1980 Woodrup Giro, 2005 Mondonico Futura Leggera ELOS, 1967 PX10E, 1971 Peugeot UO-8
09-12-12 | 12:06 PM
#18
Senior Member
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 143
Likes: 0
From: N Fla.
Bikes: new Trek3700,Experianced Raleigh500RT.
I have often thought it tragic that we throw away and otherwise ruin young lives on the battlefield. "In war, old men talk and young men die." With today's technology and high levels of fitness among seniors, some of us "space cowboys" might actually be reasonable candidates. I am 100% opposed to military conscription, but why not take "seasoned" volunteers?
. But if not,I'd be honored to serve alongside real Hawks, like Dick n Dub
.
09-12-12 | 12:21 PM
#19
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,717
Likes: 21
From: Small town America with lots of good roads
Bikes: More than I really should own.
If we simply drafted the middle and upper income family kids it would stop the fighting. Worked in Vietnam once we went to a lottery.
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