I'm slipping into a sort of cozy place in my life these days and I'm not sure what to make of it.

Now before this gets painted into a "Life is Rosey" type of picture I assure you that I most certainly have some seemingly insurmountable personal obstacles looming in the near future, I just can't seem to get very excited about them. It's the strangest thing....

On a lighter note, this is the time of the year when my outdoor activities gravitate more towards shoveling our average annual 100 inches of snow and much less towards cycling. In the past the prospect of less riding bothered me, a lot. This year I don't seem to mind it much at all. We've had some flurries, the furnace has been running for the last five weeks, and the Van is stuffed into my garage for the season.

Storing the Van in the garage displaces my personal little "Bike Haven". Any repairs or service from now until Spring will be out on the open porch or down in my severely cluttered basement. It also means that most of my favorite bikes are stowed deep into the far corners of the garage and the basement making them very inaccessable until the Spring.

So why aren't I depressed? Why am I so passively resigning myself to this drastic decrease in my cycling activities for the next five months? Did I get....old? I know I'm not any wiser. Could my lack of terror over the personal challenges I'm facing and my nonchalance towards life's little "Gotchas" be a warning sign that if I gave a damn I should be concerned about my state of mind?

I'm thinking that I'll just accept this new and interesting outlook on life as a reward for making it this far. I'll consider it a type of peace of mind that comes with the confidence that the important problems will somehow get resolved and the bikes are out there, safely sheltered from the wind blown snow and ice. The two or three bikes that I put into readily accessable places might get some use during the calmer winter days, and I have a couple of "Project bikes" stashed in a somewhat accessable spot downstairs that I might fiddle around with. We'll see how ambitious I get.

I do know that it took me 60+ years to get to this mellow place. Now I sure hope it's a place I can stay, or at least return to if I ever find that I've left it.

I've found another way to inner peace is to give away, sell, or otherwise recycle the clutter I've accumulated over the years. The satisfaction that comes from ridding oneself of items, once thought indispensable, is very uplifting. In addition the new found space feels wonderful.

Normally about this time of year you seem to slip into a winter funk and all but disappear for the winter. I like this new state of mind you are in Cranky. Whenever I get a little down or start disliking negative people, I pull out my big ol encyclopedia of the universe and read. It quickly puts into place the significance of that idiot boss or overall situation of life. In the big scheme of things, we are all pretty insignificant and the problems we deal with are even more so. Like a good friend of mine always says, "in a hundred years, nobody is going to give a crap". Being that I know so little of the struggles of my ancestors, I tend to agree. Inner peace is good! Keep smiling!

Similar to the satisfaction I have from following my New Year's resolution to rid myself, no matter how dear to me, those things I no longer used.

Brad

cod, Because I moved between Connecticut and south Texas often as a child and a teen, winter time in NE was hard to deal with for me. While I had some skis, I learned I really liked hiking in the woods with my Great Dane (he wore an orange day glow vest in deer season). I still associate hiking with winter time and fresh fallen snow after all these years.

Brad

The place you're at sounds to me like "acceptance".

It's a difficult concept for many, because they confuse it with "agreement" or "enjoyment". I don't have to agree with something or enjoy it to accept it.

When I stop fighting or grumbling or wishing it was different, that's when I can move towards acceptance and the sense of well-being comes in. That part of it is very much like the movie "War Games" where the computer learned that "the only way to win is not to play".

"Tis the gift to be simple
Tis the gift to be free
Tis the gift to come down in the place we ought to be" Shaker song "Simple Gifts"

So if you're "at peace" why are you still "cranky"? I would think that peacefulness would be the opposite of crankyness. Regardless, whatever works for you is good!

Rick / OCRR

Congrats on building your little heaven on earth. At 57 I am enjoying people and life more than ever. I think that I can see myself and my wife living comfortably in a small house with a nice porch and lots of iced tea and a pastry shop close by. I would need a place larger than my house for my bikes, fishing and woodworking junk. I like wanting less and enjoying more.

or this: https://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap100120.html

Why question it, it is the way you deserve to be. Just enjoy it and stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It sounds to me more like resignation to a fate.

Without putting too fine a point on it, it sounds like you are clearing your mind of distractions so you can steel yourself for what is ahead. It would have been handy, however, to indicate just what personal challenges ahead have brought on this feeling.

A very enlightened post, if I may say so.

Just one of many reasons I'm glad I don't live up north.

Thanks. Wasn't always so. Like most things good in my life, I came to it the hard way.

Five friggin months!!!!!********** You gotta be kidding me! That simply wouldn't do at all.

Congratulations. You have found what so many search for and never find; Peace. Now the challenge is to not let social distractions cause you to lose it. Best wishes.

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
So don't worry 'cause tomorrow may never get here!

It's ten if you measure to swimsuit weather.

A slightly longer version is this one:

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry. Two days which should be kept free of fear and apprehension.

One of these days is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow. With its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and poor performance, tomorrow is also beyond our control. Tomorrow, the sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is as yet unborn.

This leaves only one day—today. Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when we add the burdens of those two awful eternities—yesterday and tomorrow—that we break down.

It is not the experience of today that drives us mad. It is remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday, and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

Let us live, therefore, but one day at a time.