Some people do just "Stop", and I don't think anyone really knows why. People do not believe that I am 56. Twice this year, I have been asked to show my driver's license, because they
just don't believe it. "My father's your age, and he looks so old!" states one 20-something female co-worker. Another tells me that all her husband wants to do is sit and watch sports on TV.
He is 58, and headed toward diabetes, according to her. Apparently, he does not care.

So, why is this? No idea, but it does seem to me that some people do indeed "just give up".

That hit the mark today. Garage door openers and keypads won't activate properly, as if an eveil elctronic cloud has penetrated my garage.

Aspen tree is dead and needs cutting down

One sprinkler cycle will not activate.

The cars "engine light" comes on for a month or so, then goes off for two.

I am owned by too many things.

I suffer depression bouts that are debilitating.
The weird thing is, I know this and know what I have to do to beat it, but it's just . . . hard.
It seems like when we get older, a lot of opportunities for being depressed come along.
People dying, our parents have issues, health and financial worries, mortality stuff . . .
Who knows what his demon is, we can just hope he has a spiritual awakening sooner than later.

I can't help but think think there is a correlation between this thread and the other one about how people enjoy their cycling. And it has to do with the aforementioned balance in life. And that trite but still descriptive term, burnout.

For the high achiever, I think there is a real risk that once they have reached their loftiest goals, there is nothing else and suddenly, they are left with no more reason to ride. Many just cannot see themselves dropping back to "smell-the-roses" kinds of rides.

For a few, however, those S-T-R rides become a revelation. They suddenly realise that there is more to riding a bicycle than trying to win events. Their revelation may not come immediately... it may be several years or longer before they take up cycling again.

And there is a third group, that regard bicycling as a utilitarian form of transport, which also combines a way to save money and maintain a level of fitness and weight, and to see other places as touring cyclists. They are the ones, in my mind, that are into cycling for the long-term.

And sometimes, people just get tired of life. That burnout factor. Their energy ebbs for one reason or another... a lot having to do with hormonal changes, but there are financial and relationship factors in there as well.

The decline can be slow enough for people not to notice. There also may be emotional reasons behind the lack of motivation to be physically active. And often that back-story is not going to be revealed in a phone call every 12 months.

Thanks all you guys for a wonderful thread. I too have found myself at a crossroads with which I hope to fix. I started riding seriously in March of 2000, three years after my open heart surgery. Up until a year ago I had pedaled 18,000 miles and then just suddenly stopped. I still continue riding to work everyday but thats only a one mile round trip. I just lost interest, plain and simple. This thread, plus the recent bike wreck i had riding to work last week seemed to change something in me. The bike wreck bruised all the ribs on my left side where I could hardly move. But somehow it brought me closer to the bike. I know it sounds weird, but somehow, after painfully climbing out from under my bike and barely able to ride home, I refound the bike. For months I had neglected it, but while I was on the mend I found I wanted to clean it up and oil it I even ordered some new parts like I used to. I am 57 y/o and before, when I was knocking out 50-100 miles a week, breathing hard was so easy. I still think I have at least some degree of fitness left, despite virtually being off the bike for a year. This thread may very well have saved me from becoming one of the unfortunate reciepants this thread is about.

That was me. I feel the pull of the couch. I never was inspired to exercise, even as a child. Nor was anyone else in my family. I didn't play on the monkey bars. I didn't play games with the other kids. I was clumsy and ineffectual. But I read everything. I read a book a day for years. I wasn't depressed. I just wasn't physical.

Sometimes, even often times, I just don't want to get up and move and it is so damn hard. And even when I do cycle a lot I nevertheless do not get very good at it. I am slow. Even when I ride 500or 600 mile months I remain slow.

To look at it as a question of willpower is circular. If you are active and maintain your weight you are considered to have willpower. If you are sedentary and overweight then the conclusion is you don't have will power. Maybe it is my nature. I had a lot of drive to accomplish a number of things in my life. But I still was fat and sedentary until I retired. Now I am neither and it wears me out to try to stay thin and fit.

Perhaps there is a physical malady and he needs to see his doctor for at least a check up.
Perhaps there is some depression...maybe triggered by something physical.
Maybe just got lazy and doesn't want to take the trouble to start up again.
Maybe you need to reach out a bit more...perhaps that will restore some motivation...if not, at least you tried.

Get over it. It's just riding bikes, mechanical contrivances that have been around barely 125 years. We happen to like it and feel we benefit from it, but the vast majority don't. They do other things, more things, less things, or whatever. There are no end of activities and interests outside of cycling. There are ~40 middle class households on my street and my wife and I are the only adults that ride at all, and it's quite rare to see any kids on bikes. I think no more or less of any of them because of that, nor do I care. I would never presume to proselytize about cycling. I've gone various periods of many years without cycling, doing other things. My life was no less rich, and perhaps even richer, because of it.

I think it is possible you misunderstand my original post. "RL hasn't ridden in 7 or 8 years. He's put on 60 lbs. and doesn't exercise at all. By his own words he's given up on sports. It's not because of injuries either. He just doesn't want to put in the effort." It's not about the bike. It's about giving up in a broader context.

Existential angst.

Sartre was right, in my view. Our lives are meaningful only in the sense that we create meaning for ourselves. And some people find that more difficult than others. When they stop working, or the kids grow up and leave, or whatever, they look around and realise that all of their "drivers" have been external. They have been motivated entirely by external obligations and stimuli and have no idea how to look inside themselves to find routes to fulfilment. Suddenly there doesn't seem to be a "point" to anything, and they lack the perspective of the absurdists who acknowledge that the search for meaning is bound to fail, but worth doing anyway.

Why does it happen to some and not others? Hard to say. It may be simply a matter of "animal spirits"; that is to say, some people are less prone to depression than others, and more able to take pleasure in the simple business of living.

One symptom of depression is not enjoying the things that gave you pleasure in the past. Just sayin'

NOS - a friend and I discussed your post last night; it affected me greatly... My friend and I both suffer at times from depression. I for the most part have dealt with mine and it does not affect me as seriously as before and my friend is working on his by taking classes and going through therapy.

Why I bring this up... I don't know if your friend is depressed. I have plenty of friends who used to be heavily involved in cycling but just got bored and moved on. They are perfectly happy with the new hobbies. I know this is hard for men to do, but have you asked him, point blank, "friend, I am concerned about you and the fact you aren't active anymore, can I ask you why, what's the deal?" If he says "it's just too much effort..." you can respond "what makes it an effort to you? Is there something I can help you with? Is there something else you want to try?" and don't be afraid to ask "do you think this is depression and you need help?" Sometimes we all need to be slapped figuratively in the face to wake up and acknowledge there is a bigger picture issue that needs to be addressed. I know that happened to me when one day, as I was sitting on the couch, I was depressed because I was so lonely and I realized well duh... if you sit home alone, you will remain lonely. I decided to get outside again and have developed a wonderful group of friends all who love the outdoors and various activities if not riding, hiking, camping, walking, just hanging outside.

Sometimes its so easy to say to ourselves, "Its not my problem, just keep out of it" but as good humans, somethings we need to reach out and help our friends and others. Just realizing there maybe a problem is a first step. Good luck!

I think this post hits the nail on the head. I've determined for my own life that the ultimate act of creation is not just to find meaning but to create meaning. To a large extent this amounts to paying attention to what you are doing in the present. If you are riding a bike, the ride is not just a path to something else. Enjoy that ride for what it is right then. Maybe notice the play of light through the trees, the wild flowers along the road, smile at people you encounter and wish them a good morning. If riding in town or an urban environment there will be other things to notice. My town is an old New England town and I enjoy looking at dates on historic homes, (the oldest so far is the Rego House built in 1688).

These are things that interest me but there will be nothing of interest if one does not look or act on anything. (Key word "act"). Meaning is to be found in our acts.

I'm sad to hear about your friend, but I'm glad to hear you haven't given up! Congrats on not giving up.

Most, not some people, just don't have the mental stamina to keep a physical fitness program going. I'm weird about mine, I use to take martial arts for years but injury stopped that, I don't workout with weights, I have a bear of time trying to do much needed core workouts, but I don't mind riding a bike. Some people will do all of that stuff with no problem, their dedicated to the extreme, I'm just not that extreme. The vast majority of people are like your friend they just don't want to be bothered and would rather eat for exercise! And most people, just like your friend, just quit, and not due to injury either, it was mental war that they lost to.

But you keep at it, don't get depressed because some friend didn't stay with it and feel what the heck I might as well stop too. Don't let your mind play games with you. Congrats for not giving up and keep at it, your body's well being will love you for it.

Yes Vic, While I don't doubt that, I still don't see how anyone could just stop cycling. Well, short of injury or illness of course. I ride a lot, pretty much every day, so to just quit and become a couch potato . . . that would be very difficult. Far more difficult than simply riding every day.

I probably have a skewed opinion since most (if not all) of my friends are enthusiastic cyclists (or mountain bikers) too. I don't really associate with any couch potatoes!

Regarding NOS88, not sure what the solution would be except to encourage your friend to get on his bikes and ride!

Rick / OCRR

First let me say there are lots of interesting responses to my original post. I do want to clarify that I think there is a difference between being depressed and feeling depressed - long term and perhaps persistent versus short term and quickly passes. (And, yes, I realize that semantics and definitions are important. It is highly likely a better choice of words in my thread title would have been “sad”.) In any event, my friend's situation is not making me depressed. Rather, it was a momentary feeling of deep regret and sorrow for his choices. I suspect he will lead a shorter life and is fully aware of this. In one sense he is happy with what might be called a very prolonged death trajectory. I just don’t know how people get to this spot. I’ve asked him if he’s happy and he’s responded that he’s not unhappy. I’ve asked what else he’d like to do with his life or experience in life. His response is that he’s content with things the way they are and there’s nothing else he really wants. In the social gerontology literature one theory of aging that has lost favor (and I’m glad this is so) is the disengagement theory. It holds that it is normal for people to disengage as the age. The image of spending the remainder of one’s life on the front porch in a rocking chair would be an apt one. Well, this is where he seems to be. And, it may be a flaw in me, but this happening to someone I care about just makes me sad.

You would be surprised though as to how much genes play an important part in determining how long one will live. I've seen old fat people who never did a stitch of exercising live into their 80's and 90's! I had 3 good friends who exercised a lot and ate all natural and vegan diets were in great shape die before they got to their mid 50's. Of course I side on the exercising course of life, so I'm not saying do whatever because it won't matter, but still there is an element of genetic background that can upset well laid plans, or extend lives of those you wonder how their doing it.

I don't think I have read a lot of claims herein that exercise -vis-a-vis bicyling or other, gets one living longer. What I have read is that appropriate exercise makes those years of life better quality years, at least as perceived by those doing the exercising.

I agree. The three people I knew that died lived energetic lives up until they got sick. But the quality of life depends on who your speaking too, a lot of people will flat out tell you they enjoy eating, they enjoy smoking, and won't give up either no matter what because to them they are having a quality of life they enjoy. Don't get me wrong, I said this earlier, I agree with you, but people have different perceptions of what a quality of life is to be.

Yes, and that is why I included this phrase:

It is a matter of individual perception as to the degree of quality of life. My son, who is paralyzed from the shoulders down, has a superb quality of life from his and my perspective, but others looking at him initially may not think so.

I happened upon this thread and would like to add that I find much truth in what has been said. I will add that I have a friend that when undergoing arduous cancer treatment would often face the question "How are you doing" She usually answered, "I don't know what will happen but I do know that I will not die today so today is a good day."

And the following quote:

"In the end we all end up as happy as we make up our mind to be"

- Abe Lincoln (who is thought to have suffered bouts of depression).

I have the reverse of this in one of my neighbours Mick.

Sales rep driving around all day- lunch at pubs and he did enjoy a drink aswell. 40 lbs overweight and no fitness at all. He showed an interest in riding a bike and as I had a spare one in the shed- I set it up for him and told him to take the bike out whenever he wanted. He would not come out with me as I was too fit but a ride on his own with no pressure and he might chance it. A year later and he had never taken out the bike but another of our neighbours did the London to Brighton ride and although he suffered- he did it.

It shamed Mick into taking the bike out and the first ride hurt him. 5 miles up the cuckoo trail and back. For the next couple of months he rode on his own then one Sunday we had a ride with the neighbour that did the L to B and Mick came along. He found out he was not as bad as he thought and started riding in earnest. He came out with me a few times and I introduced him to hills and longer rides and only a couple more months and he bought a bike that was better than the one I had loaned him.

18 months later and he is doing 100 miles a week- 3 spinning sessions at the gym and he can beat me up any hill and over any distance. Not on for this year but he wants to try a couple of mountains so looks like a lads holiday next year to France.

I have known Mick for 20 years and we enjoy each others company. Now he is into cycling I see more of him but normally as a small dot in the distance as he crests the top of the hill. Time for me to start servicing his bike and get the brakes binding and not be able to get into the small ring for those hills.

So although The original post was about someone losing the thrill of cycling- I can at least tell the other side where others find the joy of it aswell.

I just finished reading a book, "I Love Growing Older, But I'll Never Grow Old" by Dr. Ellsworth Kalas. Growing older is a process. Growing old is a conclusion. If you’re growing older you see some hope because you have perspective and you keep learning. If you’ve grown old, you may cynically think that times have never been as bad as they are now, and that they can only get worse.”

This book is about learning how to “make peace with where you are right now.” It’s about learning from the past and then moving past it. It’s about growing—personally, spiritually, and in our relationships with God and with others. If we think properly about growing older we’ll never have to grow old.

Probably 90% of the people whom I have ridden with through the years and that I am still in contact with are no longer "serious" cyclists. Some have have moved on to rowing, a few got new knees and went back to running. Most have put on a lot weight and doing more sedentary activities. Myself, I am cycling half the miles of what I was 10 years ago, Asthma has wiped out my winter riding, Sailing now competes with summer riding. What riding I'm doing is mostly off-road or on the MUPs.

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