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-   -   How Do You Communicate on Forums vs Face-to-Face (https://www.bikeforums.net/fifty-plus-50/900999-how-do-you-communicate-forums-vs-face-face.html)

Mr. Beanz 07-12-13 10:07 PM


Originally Posted by DGlenday (Post 15845196)

What part? The grammar or the personality? :D

NOS88 07-12-13 11:03 PM


Originally Posted by Rwc5830 (Post 15842641)
I vote for a poll, please :)

Software won't let you enter that many characters in the "poll" function. I tried.

ro-monster 07-13-13 01:55 AM

Not sure any of the options really fits. I think my intentions are about the same in both contexts but the results are not at all the same.

I've always been much better at communicating in writing than I am at speaking. Talking to people is very stressful and they tend to completely misinterpret what I'm trying to say. Given a choice, I would nearly always opt for text over speech. Besides, I have observed that you get a truer picture of the real person when you don't have all the nonverbal clutter you get in face to face interactions.

cyclinfool 07-13-13 05:32 AM

My experience is that it is less what you say that causes issues as it is what you read into what others say. Someone's humor is another person's personal insult.

Notgrownup 07-13-13 05:57 AM

It's very easy to be a keyboard commando...I have already seen some on here and i have only been here a month or less...LOL...It's the same on all the forums i belong to...Funny stuff....It's hard to take back some stuff you types on a computer sometimes... The flip side to that is some are nasty on purpose to get you going...

Condorita 07-13-13 07:40 AM


Originally Posted by Mr. Beanz (Post 15844746)
I say their is far more to you're personality in person. Great cents of humour and an outstanding laugh. The forumns dont do you justyce. ;)

I love you, Beanz!

CommuteCommando 07-13-13 07:57 AM


Originally Posted by Rwc5830 (Post 15842745)
Ok here is my .02 worth, but I can see this thread getting out of hand.

This seems to be the way things are going lately.

This is one of two hobby forums I frequent, and in both cases it seems that there are many who use the anonymity to get more heated than they would face to face. I think this is similar to the motivation behind road rage. I am prone to going from 0-90 in one second flat when someone right hooks me, or says something that I think is stupid, or just plain wrong. It's not as bad in the forums since the act of typing gives me time to think a little more. Also the horn on your car doesn't have an edit button.

I'm working on it.


Originally Posted by Loose Chain (Post 15845264)
The problem with internet forums is that unlike face to face there is no means of transferring, for lack of better term, the vibes and flow of a conversation and personal interaction. Thus internet conversations get so ugly, so fast unlike with a flesh and blood human soul in front of you.

LC

I've noticed this. I've said things meant to be tongue in cheek, that were misconstrued. I had an earlier minor dust up in here with Beanz, then we met in person, kissed and made up.http://www.bikeforums.net/images/smilies/speedy.gif


Originally Posted by Notgrownup (Post 15843086)
I try to alway re-read my post to make sure i haven't said anything out of context or to insult anybody... Sometimes i will be firm and even appologize ...Like i do in face to face conversations...Worth it in my opinion...

I don't always, or often miss something (D'oh!)

Jim from Boston 07-13-13 09:18 AM


Originally Posted by Loose Chain (Post 15845264)
The problem with internet forums is that unlike face to face there is no means of transferring, for lack of better term, the vibes and flow of a conversation and personal interaction. Thus internet conversations get so ugly, so fast unlike with a flesh and blood human soul in front of you.

Do you think that smilies (emoticons) help in “fleshing out” the vibes and flow of conversation and personal interaction in a posted message? It seems that Bike Forums provide a pretty wide range of smilies to express and “vitalize” as it were one's comments.

Personally, I do try to express any emotive content in writing as precisely as I can. The Merriam-Webster online dictionary is on my bookmark list to find the right synonym for any key words I use. One thing that compelled me to reconsider smilies though was this. I once saw an ad in a sports magazine for something being endorsed by Lance Armstrong. He was quoted as something like, "No man over thirty should ever use smilies...period." :rolleyes:


Originally Posted by ro-monster (Post 15845901)
Not sure any of the options really fits. I think my intentions are about the same in both contexts but the results are not at all the same.

I've always been much better at communicating in writing than I am at speaking. Talking to people is very stressful and they tend to completely misinterpret what I'm trying to say. Given a choice, I would nearly always opt for text over speech. Besides, I have observed that you get a truer picture of the real person when you don't have all the nonverbal clutter you get in face to face interactions.

I took a course in oral communication and was introduced to the sender-receiver model of communication in which the sender transmits a message and the receiver interprets it and provides feedback to the sender to ensure the accuracy of the message; indeed, it is the receiver who completes the communication event.

So I feel that when I write a post, I can clearly express my message without any interference. For example, how often in face-to-face communication does the receiver when hearing a message immediately start thinking and preparing a reply based on his own experience, before considering the totality of the message you've sent? When writing a post, the reader can consider the message in its totality (or totally ignore it). Then the reader can formulate feedback as an entirely uninterrupted message as well.


Originally Posted by Condorita (Post 15844630)
Always with impeccable grammar and spelling.

Personally, I tend to write long posts because for me writing is an avocation, and even a craft (wordsmithing). So other than a quip, if I'm motivated to reply to a thread, it means enough to me to express myself as completely and clearly as possible, with style. I would hope that the reader would find my message interesting and/or informative. Even if not, the process of putting my thoughts in print in a well-composed post is its own reward. You be the judge. :innocent:

Jim from Boston 07-13-13 09:24 AM


Originally Posted by Retro Grouch (Post 15845015)
I THINK I'm about the same.

We'll find out for sure next weekend when I meet some 50+ers at the Katy Trail Social.

My impression is that the largest face-to-face conclaves of 50+ers have been the Annual Rides, and I had the opportunity to attend the Second and Third in the New York Finger Lakes Region and in Michigan respectively. There were about 10 subscribers in New York, and about eight in Michigan. Depending on how avid the posters, it can be almost surreal to meet these E-acquaintances in person, but always have been very pleasant experiences meeting those who share the common ground of the Fifty-Plus Forum.

FYA, there is a sticky on the Fifty-Plus Forum, A Chronicle of the 50+ Annual Rides, and in one post, I listed the threads that chronicled the Rides II to IV beginning with the personal narratives and photos:


Originally Posted by Jim from Boston (Post 14458823)
Here are links to posts that begin the personal narratives and photos for these Annual Fifty Plus Rides:
Second Annual Ride:

Third Annual Ride:

Fourth Annual Ride:

I have proposed a Fifth Annual Ride in the Boston area on July 27 (see below). In previous years suggestions have been made for multiple rides in various areas of the country. Usually the Annual Rides (Second to Fourth) had been held in conjunction with an organized ride by a cycling organization. Your Social, as well as a ride proposed by Barretscv in Wisconsin are the only independent ones I've read about since reading this Forum since about 2010. Best wishes, and apologies to the OP, NOS88, for segueing into this off-topic pitch. :rolleyes:


Originally Posted by Jim from Boston (Post 15792494)
Here are some further details for the proposed Fifth Annual Fifty Plus Ride from the Mass Bike Summer Century and Family Fun Fest web site:

http://massbike.org/summercentury/

...The new locale of the Ride from previous years is a very nice exurban to rural area for cycling, estimated about 25 miles northwest from downtown Boston, just beyond the historic town of Concord, MA of Revolutionary War and Walden Pond fame...


DGlenday 07-13-13 12:47 PM

[QUOTE=Jim from Boston;15846504Personally, I tend to write long posts...[/QUOTE]

I try to keep my posts as short as possible.

I don't have the time or patience to read long posts and tend to skim them. I know that doesn't do justice to the writer, but I'd be here all day if I were to read every long post properly.

I assume others have the same time constraints - so to (try to) make my posts easy to read:
- I keep 'em short, and
- I use many paragraph breaks.

And - I think Smilies are valid in a forum environment. They communicate expression very well, while keeping the posts brief.

Frankfast 07-13-13 02:33 PM


Originally Posted by DGlenday (Post 15846988)
I try to keep my posts as short as possible.

I don't have the time or patience to read long posts and tend to skim them. I know that doesn't do justice to the writer, but I'd be here all day if I were to read every long post properly.

I assume others have the same time constraints - so to (try to) make my posts easy to read:
- I keep 'em short, and
- I use many paragraph breaks.

And - I think Smilies are valid in a forum environment. They communicate expression very well, while keeping the posts brief.


+1 Forums for me are just like fast food. If I want something healthy, I'll read some good fiction.

OldsCOOL 07-13-13 03:09 PM


Originally Posted by Notgrownup (Post 15843086)
I try to alway re-read my post to make sure i haven't said anything out of context or to insult anybody... Sometimes i will be firm and even appologize ...Like i do in face to face conversations...Worth it in my opinion...

I reread to chek my speling.

Oh, the topic....same. Pretty much.

Notgrownup 07-13-13 03:20 PM


Originally Posted by OldsCOOL (Post 15847307)
I reread to chek my speling.

Oh, the topic....same. Pretty much.

I din't cay a dayam thing about speling...Jus kontex...The spell check police is out on this forum also...Who gives a airborne rodent's posterior if there is a few grammar flaws here and there...It's a forum...Write on Mergatroid...Have a little fun.

OldsCOOL 07-13-13 03:39 PM


Originally Posted by Notgrownup (Post 15847323)
I din't cay a dayam thing about speling...Jus kontex...The spell check police is out on this forum also...Who gives a airborne rodent's posterior if there is a few grammar flaws here and there...It's a forum...Write on Mergatroid...Have a little fun.

Now yer talkin'. Did you edit for a typo? :lol:

Mobile 155 07-13-13 06:05 PM


Originally Posted by NOS88 (Post 15842594)
When I communicate on the 50+ forums:
When I communicate on the 50+ forums:
I tend to give MORE careful consideration of what I communicate than I would if speaking face-to-face with someone and attempt to be as civil as possible.
I tend to give MORE careful consideration of what I communicate than I would if speaking face-to-face with someone and don’t especially care how my communication is received by others.
I tend to give LESS careful consideration of what I communicate than I would if speaking face-to-face, but still attempt to be as civil as possible.
I tend to give LESS careful consideration of what I communicate than I would if speaking face-to-face, and don’t really care with others think of how I communicate.
My consideration of what I communicate on a forum is about the same as if I were speaking with someone face-to-face.
I’ve never thought about it.

It would be easier to answer or even create a poll is the questions were simplified.

When Posting on 50+ Forums check one?
1: I am more considerate in the 50+ forum than face to face.
2: I am more considerate face to face than I am in the 50+ forum.
3: I don't care what people think about my communication either in the forum or face to face.
4: I am as careful about my communication in the forum and I am face to face.

All in all I find most 50+ forum members are rather considerate in the forums and the ones I have met face to face. I just have never met the ones that drop the weekend pelotons in their areas while riding their mountain bikes or loaded touring bikes. I think we need a some emoticons for fertilizer.:lol:

cranky old dude 07-13-13 07:41 PM

I think I'm the same on the forum as I am in person, which I now think has been a big mistake. I always look for humor and irony in every conversation. My strength is 'One liners" , Playing with word meanings, and referencing past conversations in a humorous way. Face to face I can gently work a person and learn where their sense of humor is and then play to that audience. On-line my humor just ends up offending the majority.

For example, my first and immediate reaction to Dnvr's now locked thread about 50+ mature reactions to three individual riding occurrences was "Calmly stop and get off my bike. Walk over to the offender. Remove my skidlid from my head and commence to thrash them with it."

In light of recent trends among the 50+ forum, I found that to be quite funny. In reality I imagine even posted in this context it will get me kicked out. But I still laugh when ever I envision the skidlid thrashing in my mind. Heck, I'm even chuckling about how I managed to avoid using that six letter word.

My humor will have to be delivered in person from now on....:roflmao2::roflmao2::roflmao2:

DnvrFox 07-13-13 08:46 PM


Originally Posted by cranky old dude (Post 15847891)
I think I'm the same on the forum as I am in person, which I now think has been a big mistake. I always look for humor and irony in every conversation. My strength is 'One liners" , Playing with word meanings, and referencing past conversations in a humorous way. Face to face I can gently work a person and learn where their sense of humor is and then play to that audience. On-line my humor just ends up offending the majority.

For example, my first and immediate reaction to Dnvr's now locked thread about 50+ mature reactions to three individual riding occurrences was "Calmly stop and get off my bike. Walk over to the offender. Remove my skidlid from my head and commence to thrash them with it."

In light of recent trends among the 50+ forum, I found that to be quite funny. In reality I imagine even posted in this context it will get me kicked out. But I still laugh when ever I envision the skidlid thrashing in my mind. Heck, I'm even chuckling about how I managed to avoid using that six letter word.

My humor will have to be delivered in person from now on....:roflmao2::roflmao2::roflmao2:

I, too, find irony and humor in many situations, and, I too find my expression of it misunderstood by some. Much of what I post is tongue-in-cheek. But, it generally gets me in trouble. I find a great variance in the "sense of humor" of others, as they likely find in mine. I now try and use emoticons, but sometimes forget. I have reduced my attempts at humor considerably due to the reactions of those who don't understand it, or perhaps I am simply not humorous, period.

So, this is life. I enjoy your humor and greatly appreciate it.

Thanks for expressing it.

Biker395 07-13-13 09:07 PM


Originally Posted by DnvrFox (Post 15848080)
I, too, find irony and humor in many situations, and, I too find my expression of it misunderstood by some. Much of what I post is tongue-in-cheek. But, it generally gets me in trouble. I find a great variance in the "sense of humor" of others, as they likely find in mine. I now try and use emoticons, but sometimes forget. I have reduced my attempts at humor considerably due to the reactions of those who don't understand it, or perhaps I am simply not humorous, period.

So, this is life. I enjoy your humor and greatly appreciate it.

Thanks for expressing it.

+1

My sense of humor can shade toward the inappropriate at times. My first reaction to that thread was to respond:

(1) Nothing.
(2) Nothing.
(3) Nothing.

Because (4) I let my pistol do my talking for me.

So obviously outrageous, no one would confuse it for a genuine response, right? Ahhhh no.

So anyway, let me apologize to everyone in advance for my occasional forays into the absurd. If I say write that offends you or sounds nasty, I can pretty much assure you that it was not intended that way. I'm paid to argue with people, and frankly, I tire of it. I don't come here to argue. I'd rather bring joy. If I screw that up, sorry about that!

Jim from Boston 07-14-13 06:07 AM


Originally Posted by Jim from Boston (Post 15846504)
Personally, I tend to write long posts…


Originally Posted by DGlenday (Post 15846988)
I try to keep my posts as short as possible.

I don't have the time or patience to read long posts and tend to skim them. I know that doesn't do justice to the writer, but I'd be here all day if I were to read every long post properly.


Thanks for reading my (long) post, and your considered reply. As a Famous Writer wrote, “If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter.”

I only read the threads and posts that interest me. If I'm particularly interested in the content then I'm motivated to read no matter how long. It takes some time to write a properly composed long post, and I take my chances that my expenditure of time might connect with another interested reader.


Originally Posted by Jim from Boston (Post 15846504)
When writing a post, the reader can consider the message in its totality (or totally ignore it). Then the reader can formulate feedback as an entirely uninterrupted message as well… I would hope that the reader would find my message interesting and/or informative. Even if not, the process of putting my thoughts in print in a well-composed post is its own reward.

For me, reading and posting to these forums so germane to my cycling lifestyle are not just for my amusement, but also to connect with like-minded people. Not many in my social and professional circles are avid cyclists.


Originally Posted by Frankfast (Post 15847232)
Forums for me are just like fast food. If I want something healthy, I'll read some good fiction.

It's surprising to me, how much seeming discontent has been expressed on this thread about nasty entanglements, if indeed the correspondence of the forums is so ephemeral. I was particularly surprised by this current thread:


Originally Posted by cranky old dude (Post 15847943)
... has anyone else noticed that almost every thread in 50+ develops into an argument. Have we all turned into a bunch of old fuddy-duddies with a "My way or the hiway" attitude?

I think I'm getting to be too young for all this surly, bitter, know-it-all bickering. There has to be a more light hearted place to have fun. I know it ain't much fun around here lately.
See ya when/if this place ever becomes more hospitable. :recum:

:eek:


Originally Posted by DGlenday (Post 15846988)
I assume others have the same time constraints - so to (try to) make my posts easy to read:
- I keep 'em short, and
- I use many paragraph breaks.


Originally Posted by Jim from Boston (Post 15846504)
So other than a quip, if I'm motivated to reply to a thread, it means enough to me to express myself as completely and clearly as possible, with style.


For me, the art of composition is to make my posts easy to read, particularly if they are “long,” Paragraph breaks are certainly key tool to do that-- seven lines maximum. I would suggest that three such paragraphs would constitute a “long” post, excluding textbox quotations.

On occasions, I have encountered other cyclists en route during ride and I talk up Bike Forums. I occasionally get a haughty response, “Well, I'd rather spend my time cycling than posting.” to which I answer, “Well, I post while working, when I can't be cycling.” :rolleyes:


Originally Posted by DGlenday (Post 15846988)
And - I think Smilies are valid in a forum environment. They communicate expression very well, while keeping the posts brief.


Originally Posted by Jim from Boston (Post 15846504)
I once saw an ad in a sports magazine for something being endorsed by Lance Armstrong. He was quoted as something like, "No man over thirty should ever use smilies...period." :rolleyes:


I once mentioned that quote to a colleague to which she replied, “Lance has credibility issues -- :)"

OldsCOOL 07-14-13 08:14 AM


Originally Posted by Frankfast (Post 15847232)
+1 Forums for me are just like fast food. If I want something healthy, I'll read some good fiction.

A few fries short of a happy meal?

Notgrownup 07-14-13 08:39 AM

Drive thru, pay at the second window please...Don't piss off the clerk...they might put a booger in your fries...

Retro Grouch 07-14-13 08:49 AM

Another thread disappeared.

I'm going to have to spend less time riding and more time on BF so I can read the posts that are so upsetting before the thread disappears.

ModeratedUser150120149 07-14-13 09:48 AM


Originally Posted by Retro Grouch (Post 15849179)
Another thread disappeared.

I'm going to have to spend less time riding and more time on BF so I can read the posts that are so upsetting before the thread disappears.

That's OK. You can always get a copy from NSA.

Retro Grouch 07-14-13 09:51 AM


Originally Posted by HawkOwl (Post 15849353)
That's OK. You can always get a copy from NSA.

:) :) :)

Dudelsack 07-14-13 09:53 AM

http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o...sallweneed.gif


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