Your mum's being unreasonable BUT, she's your mum. Soon, you won't be under her control so much, but she'll still be your mum. Don't get cranky with her, try to talk her around, ride as she wishes where it matters and, like every other teenager since Adam had his first kid, do what you like when out of sight. JUST DON'T GET RUN OVER!

Hell, I'm 61 and would hate to have to live with mum and dad again but by the same token, I worry like heck about my own kids. Cripes, I even worry about the cats and they aren't even allowed to have bikes.

It's frustrating but live with it. In a couple of years, it won't be an issue.

Yeah ... maybe not ready for college .... or road cycling.

If you are eighteen and you lack the courage, the common sense, and the communication with your mother to resolve this issue .... Seize the moment. Time to step up, my friend. You need to be able to solve problems like this ... trust me life will challenge you a lot more sorely than this. If you cannot marshal your thoughts, rouse your courage, communicate with your mother, and work this out so you can make your own simple and basic life choices .... Then you will be asking your friends this same question 25 years from now.

You have been granted a great opportunity to start living your life. Seize it.

I've been a kid, then a father, then a grandfather, and finally a great grandfather. My outlook on lots off things has changed during that time.

You should have seen the look I got from my grandson when I suggested to my great grandson that it's better not to learn how to mow grass too soon. Made me proud!

Grandson?
GREAT-Grandson??

No wonder you ride a recumbent!

I think I've seen this movie, only it was more along the lines of "You need to forget about all those fancy dreams of going to college, son. Ain't gonna happen. Tomorrow morning we'll go down and talk to Bob Johnson about getting you a job at the plant."

Map out a route, leave it for her, carry a phone with location tracking.

I was traveling to other states to race at 18. Just have to introduce it slowly.

Clifford K: I think technically cycling to college is safer than cycling to college. I know shortcuts so I don't have to ride through intersections/roundabouts but the route to Uni there's no way you can avoid them. So bassically cycling to Uni is more dangerous than college.

I don't know how it works with the spare locks although at college if you use their locks you have to ask the staff for the key I think. (same for bro's uni as well).

Hardrock 23: good point

Here's what you do:

When you want to ride your bike, just do it. If she complains, ignore her. If she tries to block your way, push past her.

Don't be afraid of her finding out. You're not ten, you're an eighteen year old and need to act like it.

Being under the thumb of your mother this way at your age is totally inappropriate and harmful, and to be honest, creepy. It's already very weird and you need to put a stop to it before you get any older or you're going to end up like Norman Bates.

+1 :d

Randombiker, you are 18 years old. You should still respect your parents but you are also an adult. Thank mum for her concern, kiss her on the cheek, tell her you love her and promise to be careful, then ride to college or anywhere else you wish. It's time for her to realize that her little boy has become a man. Hell, I'm over 50 and my mother still worries about me and tells me to be careful. I've got a daughter in her 20s and I worry about her all the time but I can only offer her advice and be there for her. She is running her own life now.

My parents didn't interfere with my cycling, but perhaps they should have. In my teens I was hit by cars a couple of times, broke two bones, and enjoyed my first ambulance ride. The damage was not permanent, and did not discourage my riding. Riding in a full arm cast is not easy, especially with down tube shifters.

Advising the guy to lie to his mom is really, really bad advice.

And what parent isn't going to know anyway?


-Tim-

Safe cycling also requires a rather intense awareness of one's surroundings.

We don't know all the details.

Communication between the OP and his mother is the place to start.

Without knowing you or your parent, nor much about your situation, there is one reasonable deduction I can make: your mom does not have confidence with you in traffic. My suggestion is to address this by finding some local group rides, and participate in at least several of them. You will learn the necessary skills and will be able to reassure her.

If your mom balks at that step, that's where I'd suggest insisting. See if you can find a group that starts somewhere near the trails that you can access so that you don't need her to drive you there (unless you can drive and have access to a car, then just go).

After that, one strategy is to ease into it with short rides to the convenience store, around a block or two in the neighborhood, and gradually increasing the time that you're out. It's easier to build up than to have a big fight about the end goal all at once.

Htfu?

you are 18. you have three choices...

1) if you need your parents support, you live by their rules. the free ride isn't free.. that is it's price
2) if you dont need your parents support, just do whatever you want. no need to tell them. no need to ask them. and if asked, rather than lie, just say "i'm not going to discuss that"
3) if you need your parents support, but you really care about this, you can try to reason with them. "I'm 18, and I am going to do this" and then see if the consequences are real or just hot air.

Most likely, when you announce, "I have been riding to school for the past three weeks and I am not dead yet" there will be some histrionics and then reason will prevail.

Shoot, you are eighteen. You live in the UK. You can hitchhike all over the EU and do odd jobs, see different places .... you could pack up your bike and do a trans-continental bike tour. There will be some hardship ... and lots of adventure. You will learn that you can fend for yourself, can support yourself ... and there ladies will like that you are independent and adventuresome.

Ahaaaa .... It never occurred to me that you were a young lady, but reading through your posts, I think this might be the case. That makes the hitch-hiking a little more dangerous ... but it also opens up the number of job opportunities. Scan the classifieds in other towns and cities for childcare positions---people tend to prefer young ladies for that. Then move, get a job, save some money, and take your bike onto Eurail and set up childcare jobs ahead of you.

Spend a few months or a year doing this (stay in touch with home of course) and when you come back home in a year, your mum will feel ridiculous suggesting you can‘t ride your bike across towen when you just got back from Serbia or something.

I'm originally from the UK and there is (or at least used to be) something called the "Cycling proficiency certificate" or something like this. Many schools or youth clubs offered these and they were supported by the police and traffic departments. I suggest you find something similar as an evening class, and this may help to convince your mother that you are least aware of the road rules and have some basic bike handling competency.

[EDIT: it's now called "Bikeability":
"The Cycling Proficiency Test was a test given by Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA) which served as a minimum recommended standard for cycling on British roads. It has been superseded by the new National Standards for Cycle Training, branded Bikeability, in England.[1] "]


From my own experience as both a kid (I stopped riding when I was about 16) and having returned to cycling this year, here are a few recommendations:

1) Ride within your limits and confidence - don't be embarrassed to get off the road if you are concerned for your safety. The law in the UK regarding riding on pavements (pedestrian sidewalks) is somewhat discretionary - as long as you give way to pedestrians and ride at a safe speed, you are unlikely to be fined, particularly if you voice safety concerns.

2) Wear reflective clothing - yellow/orange flouro vest / belt etc. - this really makes a difference to your visibility to drivers, especially at night. Stick reflectors on everything - wheels (often they have them), pedals, and even your ankles (moving reflectors are easy for drivers to notice)

3) Use your lights in daytime - normally flashing. A second flashing front white light in addition to a steady one is a good combination at night.

4) DON'T wear headphones - you need all of your senses when riding a bike.

5) Wear a helmet - not law in the UK AFAIK, but highly recommended if riding in traffic (and anywhere else IMHO)

6) Ride defensively - assume that cars will not have seen you, so you need to make eye contact if you are going to do anything risky. Always scan the road, cars and driveways ahead of you to look for potential threats. A rear-view mirror is really useful for knowing how close traffic is behind you.

7) Avoid riding close to parked cars - sooner or later someone will open their car door without looking. Leave a meter between you and the car unless you see it's unoccupied. Ride in a straight line so that cars can assess your speed and direction.

8) Learn the road rules and obey them - don't jump red lights - it's very easy to mis-judge a car's speed and direction, and you might have a mechanical. problem half way across a junction.

I'm sure there a few more, but this should get you started.

Depending on your location there may be options to use cycle paths, parks or quieter roads. Study route options to avoid busy roads.

Cycling is relatively safe, and whilst you can have bad luck and be hit by an inattentive driver, you can reduce the risk significantly by learning to predict potentially dangerous situations, e.g. cars coming out of driveways but looking the other direction, dog walkers, children playing with balls, buses pulling out etc....

Good luck!

BTW, check out some the Global Cycling Network videos on YouTube - they are based in the UK, and have several videos on various aspects of safety.

You mean like bike lanes to avoid?

You certainly don't have to put up with this! Not in this day and age. You should move out, rent your own place, pay your own bills and lead your own life as you see fit.

I'm 18 and at college in September so I don't have job yet.

Wrong

I've lived part time in St Andrews and London as well as the US. First is that respect for parents is noticably higher in the UK (and Europe) than in the US and that is a good thing. OTOH, parents in the UK tend to treat their offspring as more adult, give them responsibilities at an earlier age, allow them to fail, and are less judgmental. Kids in the UK also don't sneak around to drink like US kids as they usually drink, somewhat responsibly, with their parents instead. Overall, parents and offspring in the UK have much better lifelong relationships than those in the US. Kids in the UK are much more likely to try to understand their parents concerns and negotiate with them than to say F U, I'm doing whatever I want.

Road fatalities in the UK are, like most of Europe, fairly low, about 1/4 that of the U.S. per capita. Bicycling fatalities in the UK are quite high though and relative to vehicle fatalities extremely high — and these are reported in the papers and TV. Bicycle fatalities are much higher in the US but so are road fatalities in general so bicycle fatalities don't stick out as much in the US as in the UK. To a parent in the UK bicycling appears massively more dangerous than it does to a parent in the US.

Many of the suggestions above about figuring out routes and educating your mum about how relatively safe you'll be are good and hopefully will result in her support. I would not make an enemy of her over this though — it's not worth it.

Just do it. You are an adult. If you are living at home and they are going to throw you out on the street because you rode your bike to school, then you have some weird dynamic going on with your family. I say this as a father as well.