Help convincing my parents to let me go on a bike tour
06-19-18, 03:35 PM
#26
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It's a ways off and your parents are thinking about you as you are today. Be a responsible person between now and 2020 and chances are your parents will be OK with it by then.
06-20-18, 12:13 AM
#27
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I say “Go for it!” But as a parent, I’d also say you should take some incremental steps that will help you learn the ins and outs of touring. Maybe start with a local ride like the MS 150 - that will give you a taste of road riding in a more controlled environment. Over the next couple years, do some additional group rides that will allow you to hone your skills as well as allay some of the concerns of your parents. The bettter you are, the better they’ll feel. You’ll need to learn a lot about bike maintenance, and you’ll need to learn how to do some serious long-term planning. But it’s certainly a worthy goal!
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06-20-18, 12:53 AM
#28
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There is more to this than we know about.
I'm sure the parents have concerns beyond distracted drivers. I'm concerned about many things regarding my children but they don't always need to know the reason why I don't give permission. It is enough that I say no.
We can start with the fact that he doesn't have a bike to tour with. From that we can move on to the fact that he is 15 years old and asking random strangers to help him go against his parents wishes.
If I found that my child started a thread like this I'd be livid with both my child and anyone who encouraged him. Nobody has any right to encourage this guy in the slightest. Doing so is completely reckless and undermines his parent's rightful authority. Mods should shut this thread down.
-Tim-
I'm sure the parents have concerns beyond distracted drivers. I'm concerned about many things regarding my children but they don't always need to know the reason why I don't give permission. It is enough that I say no.
We can start with the fact that he doesn't have a bike to tour with. From that we can move on to the fact that he is 15 years old and asking random strangers to help him go against his parents wishes.
If I found that my child started a thread like this I'd be livid with both my child and anyone who encouraged him. Nobody has any right to encourage this guy in the slightest. Doing so is completely reckless and undermines his parent's rightful authority. Mods should shut this thread down.
-Tim-
A kid has an interest & takes steps toward pursuing it, & you're livid?
Out there, IMO.
06-20-18, 07:50 AM
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That is a brainless thought process that exists because people think simple slogans are great replacements for a far more nuanced policy. Of course, when followed up upon, I can guarantee in 95% of cases, there is no good reason beyond "obey your parents" other than "because I said so".
I've met parents. They're not always smarter than the kids, nor do they always have the kids best interest at heart in their decision making. For all we know, the kid's parents rabidly hate bikes and don't want him to be one of those people dressed like a doofus holding up traffic.
I'd much rather err on the side of encouraging youth to become their own people, instead of a rigid copy of their parents who can only do things their parents would do or approve of or are pushing to live vicariously through. Especially so, in today's helicopter parent world, and especially so in a world where people are increasingly unable to think for themselves. The kid's life is theirs, not their parents, parents forget that all too often in decision making.
I've met parents. They're not always smarter than the kids, nor do they always have the kids best interest at heart in their decision making. For all we know, the kid's parents rabidly hate bikes and don't want him to be one of those people dressed like a doofus holding up traffic.
I'd much rather err on the side of encouraging youth to become their own people, instead of a rigid copy of their parents who can only do things their parents would do or approve of or are pushing to live vicariously through. Especially so, in today's helicopter parent world, and especially so in a world where people are increasingly unable to think for themselves. The kid's life is theirs, not their parents, parents forget that all too often in decision making.
06-20-18, 08:18 AM
#31
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06-20-18, 08:31 AM
#32
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That is a brainless thought process that exists because people think simple slogans are great replacements for a far more nuanced policy. Of course, when followed up upon, I can guarantee in 95% of cases, there is no good reason beyond "obey your parents" other than "because I said so".
I've met parents. They're not always smarter than the kids, nor do they always have the kids best interest at heart in their decision making. For all we know, the kid's parents rabidly hate bikes and don't want him to be one of those people dressed like a doofus holding up traffic.
I'd much rather err on the side of encouraging youth to become their own people, instead of a rigid copy of their parents who can only do things their parents would do or approve of or are pushing to live vicariously through. Especially so, in today's helicopter parent world, and especially so in a world where people are increasingly unable to think for themselves. The kid's life is theirs, not their parents, parents forget that all too often in decision making.
I've met parents. They're not always smarter than the kids, nor do they always have the kids best interest at heart in their decision making. For all we know, the kid's parents rabidly hate bikes and don't want him to be one of those people dressed like a doofus holding up traffic.
I'd much rather err on the side of encouraging youth to become their own people, instead of a rigid copy of their parents who can only do things their parents would do or approve of or are pushing to live vicariously through. Especially so, in today's helicopter parent world, and especially so in a world where people are increasingly unable to think for themselves. The kid's life is theirs, not their parents, parents forget that all too often in decision making.
06-20-18, 08:42 AM
#33
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That is a brainless thought process that exists because people think simple slogans are great replacements for a far more nuanced policy. Of course, when followed up upon, I can guarantee in 95% of cases, there is no good reason beyond "obey your parents" other than "because I said so".
I've met parents. They're not always smarter than the kids, nor do they always have the kids best interest at heart in their decision making. For all we know, the kid's parents rabidly hate bikes and don't want him to be one of those people dressed like a doofus holding up traffic.
I'd much rather err on the side of encouraging youth to become their own people, instead of a rigid copy of their parents who can only do things their parents would do or approve of or are pushing to live vicariously through. Especially so, in today's helicopter parent world, and especially so in a world where people are increasingly unable to think for themselves. The kid's life is theirs, not their parents, parents forget that all too often in decision making.
I've met parents. They're not always smarter than the kids, nor do they always have the kids best interest at heart in their decision making. For all we know, the kid's parents rabidly hate bikes and don't want him to be one of those people dressed like a doofus holding up traffic.
I'd much rather err on the side of encouraging youth to become their own people, instead of a rigid copy of their parents who can only do things their parents would do or approve of or are pushing to live vicariously through. Especially so, in today's helicopter parent world, and especially so in a world where people are increasingly unable to think for themselves. The kid's life is theirs, not their parents, parents forget that all too often in decision making.
You don't have the right to to insert yourself between a father and his son.
A father's right to tell his 15 year old son what he can and cannot do is sacrosanct. The only exception is if the child's health or safety is at risk.
-Tim-
06-20-18, 09:00 AM
#34
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One parent I know is most upset that her son wants to join the Marines. Should the son obey his mother?
06-20-18, 09:07 AM
#35
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The kid didn't ask how to disobey their parents; they asked about having a dialogue with their parents. Nobody in this thread has recommended that they disobey their parents. And nobody is inserting themselves anywhere.
06-20-18, 09:12 AM
#36
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And the kid also isn't asking about how to do it now when he's 15, he's asking about 3 years into the future when he'll be 18. Also asking about how to go about getting a bike. In other words, planning. Not some grand plan to run away from home as a teenager.
06-20-18, 09:25 AM
#37
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There's a dictatorial line where the children will grow up to hate the parents ... personally that's not the relationship I want with my kids and the boy won't be 15 when he goes to do his trip anyway.
06-20-18, 09:43 AM
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I'm also fairly certain the first amendment gives him the right to say something that contradicts what the parents said if he so chooses.
06-20-18, 09:45 AM
#39
SuperGimp
Coming in a little strong there, Tim. The young person is doing EXACTLY what I would want my kids to do - sounds like he's doing some background research and planning. Whether he goes on a bike tour or not is between him and his folks, but it's curious that you reject his desire to ask questions and learn more.
06-20-18, 09:47 AM
#40
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Originally Posted by US Constitution, First Amendment
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
06-20-18, 09:50 AM
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Again, simple slogans are not good policy. Yes, in general, a child should follow a parent's wishes. No, it is not the end of the world if they wish to pursue their own interests.
If you are to the point you are dictating to your children how they will live their lives with an iron fist, and even looking for dialogue on something they wish to do is viewed as insubordination and prohibited, you should probably reevaluate your methodology, and even moreso evaluate why you hold that methodology.
06-20-18, 09:55 AM
#43
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I agree he has the moral right to say whatever he wants, but the First Amendment protects people from the US government restricting freedom of speech, not websites, parents, etc.
06-20-18, 09:56 AM
#44
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So go on a tour thats not on roads for the most part. Bike paths, dirt roads etc.
06-20-18, 10:06 AM
#45
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I'm not sure how that is relevant to my post. The fact that a parent may choose to get angry over what was said, or a website may decide to delete a post doesn't change the fact that he had the right to say it in the first place.
06-20-18, 10:12 AM
#46
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You wrote:
The First Amendment does not give him this right.
The First Amendment does not give him this right.
06-20-18, 11:42 AM
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06-20-18, 12:06 PM
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06-20-18, 12:21 PM
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Because the First Amendment gives you the guarantee that the Government, not individuals, cannot suppress your freedom of speech.
I have the right to say what I want without recourse from any governmental body. I do not have the right to say as I wish without recourse from family, my employer, and affiliated organizations, etc.
I have the right to say what I want without recourse from any governmental body. I do not have the right to say as I wish without recourse from family, my employer, and affiliated organizations, etc.