Help convincing my parents to let me go on a bike tour
#1
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Help convincing my parents to let me go on a bike tour
I will graduate high school in 2021. That summer I plan to go on a touring ride.
My parents mostly don’t want me to go because of distracted drivers.
All I really ask is for a really good explanation to why biketouring is safer
than is sounds.
Also I need help finding a bike.
My parents mostly don’t want me to go because of distracted drivers.
All I really ask is for a really good explanation to why biketouring is safer
than is sounds.
Also I need help finding a bike.
#2
Farmer tan
Sorry, I'm not going to be much help.
I probably wouldn't let my boys go, either.
Where is your proposed tour? Going with others?
I probably wouldn't let my boys go, either.
Where is your proposed tour? Going with others?
#3
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I toured a few times with an ER doc. That helped keep my mom happy. At one point, he asked me what she thought. I said something like "she worries a lot, but is happy I am getting fresh air and exercise." His reply was: "My parents absolutely hate it when I do this. They begged me to go to Club Med."
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I rode across the country when I got out of high school- it was fine.
No texting then, but probably more drunks.
Tell them you won't be binge drinking in college but out developing fundamental life skills.
No texting then, but probably more drunks.
Tell them you won't be binge drinking in college but out developing fundamental life skills.
#5
Senior Member
Whilst it's good to plan ahead personally I wouldn't worry about for now as it's 3 years away and you may so hooked up with a girlfriend by then your plans may totally change but also in that 3 years your parents will see you mature and become more responsible so at that stage may not be as concerned as they are now.
Do you ride a bike at the moment to or from college etc if so it's really only an extension on what you're currently doing, you could also say you're thinking of taking up either base jumping / wingsuits or going biketouring do they have any suggestions which may be best
Seriously though I can understand their concerns, if you really want to do it I'd leave it until nearer the time and then sit down with them and ask them the reasons and ask if they could help plan it / the route taking quieter roads might it help put their minds at rest to a degree.
Do you ride a bike at the moment to or from college etc if so it's really only an extension on what you're currently doing, you could also say you're thinking of taking up either base jumping / wingsuits or going biketouring do they have any suggestions which may be best
Seriously though I can understand their concerns, if you really want to do it I'd leave it until nearer the time and then sit down with them and ask them the reasons and ask if they could help plan it / the route taking quieter roads might it help put their minds at rest to a degree.
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If you won't be 18 and won't be traveling with someone who is you could have problems getting a campsite at places like state parks.
#7
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Obey your parents until you live by yourself.
While you live under their roof you should respect their wishes.
You have the rest of your life to do what you want once you are on your own.
-Tim-
While you live under their roof you should respect their wishes.
You have the rest of your life to do what you want once you are on your own.
-Tim-
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POLITELY remind your parents that when you graduate high school, you will be (presumably) an adult? And as indyfabz has stated, if you are not, you may well run into a bunch of issues, it may be prudent to find an adult to join you.
In any case, it is 2018, you've got three years. Bit premature to worry about what the family conditions will be regarding this trip in a couple years time.
In any case, it is 2018, you've got three years. Bit premature to worry about what the family conditions will be regarding this trip in a couple years time.
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I second what everyone has said in terms of the logistical issues you'll run into if you aren't 18 when you graduate. That said, if you will be graduating when you're 18, your best bet is to continuously show that you are a responsible child from now through the time you graduate (and after you graduate of course). And while yes, if you are an adult your parents don't have any legal latitude, this seems like a really minor thing to burn bridges over.
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I'm 48 years old going on my longest by far bicycle tour from Boston MA to Jackson hole WY in fact to see my parents. If you have a good plan and your own money a good bicycle you should do something you really want to do I bicycle tour before the years fly by and you say man I should have done that a long time ago. And your parents will always worry because they love you. Listening to them and talk to them and in the end you should do what you want if it makes sense good luck let us know what happens.
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OP didn't give many details of bike touring he was thinking about. If you don't have much experience cycling and you were planning on going self supported, then I might share some of your parents concerns. However, if you were going with a group or an organized tour then I would feel much better about it.
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BTW, it is a true story. Good movie, great Eddie Vedder (of Pearl Jam) sound track.
I'm at the point now where I sympathize with both the kid and the parents.
Last edited by Cyclist0108; 06-19-18 at 08:48 AM.
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#14
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For now, will they let you join a bike club and ride locally? That's where you should start.
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I guess I should amend my previous statement slightly, yes, if you are still financially supported by your parents, my advice doesn't really apply.
Last edited by jefnvk; 06-19-18 at 11:51 AM.
#16
Senior Member
My question is, if the parents are worried about distracted drivers, then is the OP riding locally now? Not tours, just riding? If not even that, then you're biting off a pretty big first bite to plan a tour. You need to be riding first, be in riding shape then take some "baby steps".
If you are riding, then it's no more dangerous riding on a tour. And like a lot of things, statistically you're more likely to die in an automobile accident than on a bike. Or at least, that's the typical response to any "danger" question.
In the meantime, and if you are riding now, as you get closer to and during your senior year, find a place you can camp and start trying to do some short local over nighters. Heck, that's fun and you'll learn a lot about what gear works and what doesn't, AND it gives the family a chance to get used to the idea.
But I assume by the dates the OP is only 14 or 15 now. When we were that age we rode bikes all over town, MILES without any supervision, rode to school, rode to the city pool during summer... No way would I let my kid ride a bike down the street by themselves at that age today.
edit to add: Just read again the OP. Looking for a bike... so not riding now and want to take a tour. That's called "putting the cart before the horse." First you need to ride, LOTS before planning a tour. Get a decent used bike and ride. Heck you may decide you don't even like it.
If you are riding, then it's no more dangerous riding on a tour. And like a lot of things, statistically you're more likely to die in an automobile accident than on a bike. Or at least, that's the typical response to any "danger" question.
In the meantime, and if you are riding now, as you get closer to and during your senior year, find a place you can camp and start trying to do some short local over nighters. Heck, that's fun and you'll learn a lot about what gear works and what doesn't, AND it gives the family a chance to get used to the idea.
But I assume by the dates the OP is only 14 or 15 now. When we were that age we rode bikes all over town, MILES without any supervision, rode to school, rode to the city pool during summer... No way would I let my kid ride a bike down the street by themselves at that age today.
edit to add: Just read again the OP. Looking for a bike... so not riding now and want to take a tour. That's called "putting the cart before the horse." First you need to ride, LOTS before planning a tour. Get a decent used bike and ride. Heck you may decide you don't even like it.
Last edited by WNCGoater; 06-19-18 at 11:54 AM.
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I smell something.
#18
Banned
Perhaps if part of an organized group with a good reputation ?
American Youth hostels group bike tours for teens are supervised by an Adult..
Teen Travel - AYH Teen Bike Trips for Grades 6-12 - Summer 2018
the trip Leader rides 'sweep', in the back..
...
American Youth hostels group bike tours for teens are supervised by an Adult..
Teen Travel - AYH Teen Bike Trips for Grades 6-12 - Summer 2018
the trip Leader rides 'sweep', in the back..
...
Last edited by fietsbob; 06-20-18 at 01:17 PM.
#19
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There is more to this than we know about.
I'm sure the parents have concerns beyond distracted drivers. I'm concerned about many things regarding my children but they don't always need to know the reason why I don't give permission. It is enough that I say no.
We can start with the fact that he doesn't have a bike to tour with. From that we can move on to the fact that he is 15 years old and asking random strangers to help him go against his parents wishes.
If I found that my child started a thread like this I'd be livid with both my child and anyone who encouraged him. Nobody has any right to encourage this guy in the slightest. Doing so is completely reckless and undermines his parent's rightful authority. Mods should shut this thread down.
-Tim-
I'm sure the parents have concerns beyond distracted drivers. I'm concerned about many things regarding my children but they don't always need to know the reason why I don't give permission. It is enough that I say no.
We can start with the fact that he doesn't have a bike to tour with. From that we can move on to the fact that he is 15 years old and asking random strangers to help him go against his parents wishes.
If I found that my child started a thread like this I'd be livid with both my child and anyone who encouraged him. Nobody has any right to encourage this guy in the slightest. Doing so is completely reckless and undermines his parent's rightful authority. Mods should shut this thread down.
-Tim-
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If I found that my child started a thread like this I'd be livid with both my child and anyone who encouraged him. Nobody has any right to encourage this guy in the slightest. Doing so is completely reckless and undermines his parent's rightful authority. Mods should shut this thread down.
Heck, I found one a few months ago that I found out I already belonged to when I tried to register!
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There is more to this than we know about.
I'm sure the parents have concerns beyond distracted drivers. I'm concerned about many things regarding my children but they don't always need to know the reason why I don't give permission. It is enough that I say no.
We can start with the fact that he doesn't have a bike to tour with. From that we can move on to the fact that he is 15 years old and asking random strangers to help him go against his parents wishes.
If I found that my child started a thread like this I'd be livid with both my child and anyone who encouraged him. Nobody has any right to encourage this guy in the slightest. Doing so is completely reckless and undermines his parent's rightful authority. Mods should shut this thread down.
-Tim-
I'm sure the parents have concerns beyond distracted drivers. I'm concerned about many things regarding my children but they don't always need to know the reason why I don't give permission. It is enough that I say no.
We can start with the fact that he doesn't have a bike to tour with. From that we can move on to the fact that he is 15 years old and asking random strangers to help him go against his parents wishes.
If I found that my child started a thread like this I'd be livid with both my child and anyone who encouraged him. Nobody has any right to encourage this guy in the slightest. Doing so is completely reckless and undermines his parent's rightful authority. Mods should shut this thread down.
-Tim-
First, he's asking for when he's done high school, so he won't be 15 at the time.
Second, asking people who have knowledge on a subject is perfectly reasonable. How else would he get information? If he feels his parents' fear is unfounded, would this not be a reasonable place to ask for guidance?
Third, reasonable parents are willing to communicate with their child. They tell them why the answer is "no", and are open to changing their mind if it can be shown that their reasoning was incorrect.
Fourth, people have every right to respond the way they want to. We have no obligation to respect or obey the wishes of the parents. He's not asking for ways to do something illegal.
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I graduated from High School in 1976 and wanted to bike tour from NW Indiana to Montreal for the Olympics. My mom was OK with it, but my dad said no.
One of my older brothers told me I should go, because I would always regret not going. And he also assured me that dad would not come and retrieve me, and would get over it when I got back in time to attend college.
I went, and learned a lot about what I wanted to do in my future. My brother was right, I would have regretted not going. And I walked out of Purdue 4 years later with a degree in Chemical Engineering.
One of my older brothers told me I should go, because I would always regret not going. And he also assured me that dad would not come and retrieve me, and would get over it when I got back in time to attend college.
I went, and learned a lot about what I wanted to do in my future. My brother was right, I would have regretted not going. And I walked out of Purdue 4 years later with a degree in Chemical Engineering.
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Get a job. Make enough money to get a bike. Learn to ride the bike, if you haven't already. Ride a lot.
If there's a course in your area to learn how to ride a bike on streets and roads, something like the Effective Cycling course (I think it's been renamed), take it.
If you keep working, and save some of what you earn, you could ride with a group (Adventure Cycling's Trans America tour comes to mind, it's the cheapest one I know of). Sell that to your parents: you'll be with other experienced cyclists, some of whom have first aid experience. You'll be with a group that will look out for you, as you're looking out for them. It's pretty unlikely you'll be hit by a car, die in a ditch, and they'll find your body following the buzzards.
If there's a course in your area to learn how to ride a bike on streets and roads, something like the Effective Cycling course (I think it's been renamed), take it.
If you keep working, and save some of what you earn, you could ride with a group (Adventure Cycling's Trans America tour comes to mind, it's the cheapest one I know of). Sell that to your parents: you'll be with other experienced cyclists, some of whom have first aid experience. You'll be with a group that will look out for you, as you're looking out for them. It's pretty unlikely you'll be hit by a car, die in a ditch, and they'll find your body following the buzzards.
#25
Full Member
Would they allow you to do a bike overnighter to kind of get used to it. Are there any rails to trails or bike paths you could try to plan it around. Perhaps if you could ease into it they would be more comfortable with it. I would recomend lights front and back and a good mirror. I don't trust the cars either.