Today I was a Lance. I didn't wear gym shorts over bike shorts, ballcap, cotton t-shirt, running shoes and my Oakley Flaks. I instead ventured forth in a jersey (gifted by the wife and therefore mandatory), bike shorts, a road helmet and cycling shades. I still rode flats but elected to wear my five tens.

I soon noticed almost every Lance I passed would give me the regal hand on the handlebar wave or curt nod. Also, when I passed a Lance, it didn't immediately become obvious that the passed Lance would not let the pass stand; in fact, the passed Lances kept their pace and allowed the pass.

I felt part of a brotherhood and, for a brief moment, was excited at the prospect of more discoveries. Then I glanced into a storefront window, realized how silly I looked all in Lycra and booked it home to change.

Just what the hell is a Lance? Pending the answer,I may be insulted.

Weak effort. Try harder.

Yep... That Lance outfit is a wiener. Of course when I put my 250 pounds into spandex without an otter layer it gets a little tedious ta look at me. But, if I go super fast may be they won't see me. Ahhh, that's the ticket. Go faster... Yep.

tiresome

To get at the meat of it. The handlebar wave or curt nod are real and, based on my years of riding as a non-Lance, reserved primarily for other Lances.

The respect in passing and being passed is also real.

Its like an exclusive club.


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Mike, I love ya buddy! This one got a chuckle from me. I see the gravitas comes and goes and even the consternation apparently took a break as you got the regal wave from other cyclists.

I think your wife thinks you you look sexy in Lycra so she declared it mandatory that you wear it. After you passed the store window and booked it home to change, I hope she was waiting for you.

(Had to stop typing before inappropriate use of the word "Lance")

Sock.

Likewise, you should use a mirror before you post here.

A thread to ignore. A poster to block.

The irony is thick.

Lance is a brand of snack foods. It’s been around for ages.

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I actually am eating some at this very moment, the captain's wafers. They are my wife's favorite so we generally have some in the cabinet.

The OP uses the term "Lance" as an insult to describe cyclists who wear Lycra. In other words, roadies. These people are often the subject of his grievances, as he seeks something cycling related to gripe about.

I'm always surprised at the traction his threads get. Interestingly, no amount of disdain from other posters seems to have any effect on him whatsoever.

Dang! I loved those BITD! I think they were my favorite, too!

Just mention how good the Garmin Varia is, that will ellicit 40 new threads on why there is not a way to adjust the range to accommodate his 3 ft wide bike lane only

Define “masochism”.

Reading this thread?

Lance

noun

A road cyclist attired head-to-toe in crisp, matching Lycra that looks like it should come with a sponsorship contract. A focus on aerodynamics and color coordination from sunglasses to water bottle and socks that are always the exact regulation height above spotless clipless shoes. A Lance usually rolls on a high-end carbon machine with mounted computer tracking every watt, heartbeat, and pedal stroke.

On the road, a Lance rides with a laser focus, chin tucked, elbows bent, exuding the energy of someone halfway between training for the Tour de France and filming a promo reel. He’s got a sprint segment on Strava he knows the exact wattage he’ll need to reclaim it if someone dares to challenge him.

Stop feeding the troll.

Puppet

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I miss Larry

“Lance” seems about as current a term as “Fixie hipster”.

"Poseur" is a better term.

Both of those eras were total fun. The place was alive with jokes and snark and imaginative posts, people having a good time just being here at BF. Apparently once in a lifetime, or at least OUR lifetime. 🙂