Riding on a major expressway type road. Nothing happened, but it was dangerous having cars pass me at 70 -80 mph!

I was biking up a very steep hill, and when i reached the top, i was going so slow, i fell over clipped in. Thank god only my friend saw.

thinking that a judy xlc would work on my joker for a decent peiod of time....i got it for free....mm....bad decision

Two, after pulling a series of incredible(my own words) moves up a bunch of rock ledges, that no one else made, I pushed out the front wheel turning a circle in the parking lot at the top and sanded all the meat off my shin in the following crash.
I hopped a raised manhole cover(I am the trials guy in my group) at speed, touched the back wheel to it, with the seat in full crosscountry mode, and threw myself over the handlebars at speed.
No wait, three. Went into a turn way to hard, crossed center line and hit a car head on. Six weeks in the hospital.

Do you really want to hear all of them? Too much to type, but I got one with a parked car like most of you here. There I was riding the small road swinging from side to side, with no cars in sight. Not only was I NOT going in a straight line like all normal people, I also had conversation going with my buddy, who was laughing pretty hard after this happened:
I chose a bad time to turn my head away from the road and was about to reply on some stupid comment about girl we passed. In a heartbeat I hit the rite side of the parked car, taking off the side mirror completely with my handlebar (thank god my fingers were not all the way at the end of it). Because of a sudden stop I ended up sitting on my handlebars, standing on my frond wheel. My rear (wheel) reached level of the car’s roof, and got stock on the side of it. With a help of my friend I got down and as fast as I could rode away.
Damage:
Fork needs a paint job.
Rear light broke
Did I mention the car’s mirror? Oh yes, I did…..