One cold, sunny morning in February, I rode with Pete Clark.

His bike was nothing to write home about: nicked, scratched, full of amateurish repair work. Even something about his attire suggested Mickey Mouse: fingerless work gloves, tattered, baggy pants tucked into white socks (goodness knows what was underneath that!) cheap shoes, eyeglasses that had seen better years, and weirdest of all, he sucked on a whistle (or so it appeared: "Slurp, shlurp!" Ew.)

Disguising my embarrassment, we took off together down the road. Pedaling, he looked like some sort of funky chicken. And it was all I could do to stay with him, he was so slow! I felt ridiculous every time he tweeted on that whistle, I wanted to hide! In fact, the first time he blew it was in my direction, spraying me with spit! "Oh, I'm sorry," he kept apologizing. But it never did any good--I'd rather ride with Jethro Bodine!

Several times he made stupid turns and repeatedly endangered me in traffic. Every time he swerved into the center of the lane, he'd get a symphony of horns blowing at him, and each time he'd
yell back at them, "Learn Effective Cycling techniques! Bikes belong!" What a bozo.

My advice to anyone is: stay away from Pete Clark. He'll get you killed!

I rode with fubar5 once. What a friggin dork! He smelled like quattro formaggio! Unfortunetly he is kind of fast on a bike. I kept trying to drop him, but I couldn't. I new he was back there because of the bad smell.
He only owns one jersey, and one pair of cycling shorts. So those smell really bad too and are in bad condition. fubar5 is such a dork, he doesn't even own a brand new bike. He buys the crap people are trying to get rid of, and then he wonders why his bike are always breaking. fubar5 is a poser, I can't believe you guys put up with him.

As a UCLA undergrad, I often used cotton work gloves for cycling. I also had a bright orange road worker's vest, which prompted the sales rep. for West Coast Cycle Supply to tell me, "There are some weeds that need to be cleared out along Santa Monica Boulevard!"

Suppy Calvin, haven't seen you at the forums much. Why do you have to dis me like this?

Can someone please inform us all what the dress and personal habits codes are for this forum?

I thought it was all about riding but it seems we have to attain a certain 'coolness factor' as well or we'll get dumped on.



I think I'd rather just ride my bike.

Hm . . . I had hoped this whole thread was a joke, but I'm not sure now.

Oh well, just for the record, I bike to work in gym shorts and a very old blue sweat shirt. My bag is held to the back rack of my bike with a bungee cord. My bike is a little too small for me. I wear beat up skateboard shoes and white socks. Sometimes I wear ski gloves if it is cold out. If I go to the store on my bike, I strap two "old lady" style plastic baskets to the rack.

I still arrive at my destination and feel good about it.

OK, so you had a bad ride with somebody. BF is probably not the best place to vent about it. And if it is the best place to vent like that, then maybe I'm in the wrong place.

andy

Joe - can we kill this thread (I rode with Pete Clark)?? Perhaps it was meant in jest, but it is quite hard to tell if it was. I see a flame war around the corner. It is quite out of character with bike forums.

I believe this thread is a Joke, LittleBigMan and Pete Clark is the same person. As is CalvinNhobbes and Fubar5. On that note I’m going to close this thread, there’s too much confusion and were presenting the wrong atmosphere that I would like to see on these forums.

I’m also going to ask those members with more then one profile, to pick a username and stick to it. If were going to have a handful of members posting under multiple usernames, I might as well turn off registration all together and allow guests to post. A username gives a person an identity on this community, unless you’re a registered schizo, and can prove it, please stick to one username.

On that note, this thread is close, if you disagree with me, PM me and we will talk.

Denver, thanks for the heads up on this thread.

(This is a joke...)

LBM,

I really enjoyed riding with you! I am sorry you had a bad time, but as you know, I apologized before. I really think we cyclists should come together on the common ground of our true love, the bicycle. :thumbup:

Do I know you well enough to offer some pointers? Please don't think I'm being intrusive, but, here goes, anyway:

1) When riding in the cold, the nose runs quite a bit. But "snot rockets" are not necessary (especially when aimed at motorists' windshields.)

2) It's bad road ettiquette to make profane hand gestures at motorists who anger you, especially police. (But on the positive side, I got a great workout ducking down that bikepath shortcut when he chased us!)

3) Approach pedestrians slowly and cautiously. Signal your presence with a gentle shout (or whistle! ) If you frighten an older person, you could give them a heart attack (not to mention having to help them out of the ditch, like I had to do when you buzzed that senior citizen at the bus stop!)

4) We represent ALL CYCLISTS! Don't smudge our image by disregarding the rules of the road, such as, "stop on red," "yield right of way," and, "don't ride on the sidewalk, across flower beds, or through shopping malls."

5) "Smile when you say that!" Don't call people names, like "dork," "stinkwad," or "crap-for-brains."

6) Defending yourself is understandable, but hitting people with your u-lock as a "pre-emptive strike" can land you in prison.

7) Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!

:thumbup: