xcracer13

there goes my hot chocolate all over my desk

Zan

+1

But then I thought about it... and now I don't know if I want to know.

kenhill3

+1. I've trained my body to take a nice big crap every single morning, so, never a problem on rides.

rayfrady

Thanks for all these wonderful images.

I think after reading this thread I'm probably going to need Therapy.

This place is good for a laugh, I have to admit!!!

Ray

exaxxion

A snowball provides the most refreshing wipe you will ever experience.

fireboi

But make sure its made from fluffy snow not the little ice crystals

colombo357

How about dry ice?

No Mojo

You might try this book

PainkillerSPE

I simply use Depends adult diapers on my rides. Unequal protection and added cushioning for those bumpy trails. It gets a little squishy sometimes though .

East Hill

Oh, look, hot cocoa .

East Hill

DirtPedalerB

well I have tried to poo underwater on a fishing trip and couldn't make myself do it... I also have a prbolem peeing underwater. I'm sure that's a medical condition and there is a pill on TV for it, but I'll just let it be.. I'm pretty sure I could poo in a submarine, so underwater may not be accurate.

croscoe

I saw that in Books A Million and had to do a double take.

Re: Pooping in water - You've never released a brown microshark in someone's pool?

PainkillerSPE

I have always referred to it as boneless brown trout. Never heard that one before..

Bushpilot

i am sure with some therapy you too will be able to experience the true pleasure, freedom and empowerment that only an aqua poop can provide. There is a 12 step program as well. Good luck brother.

deraltekluge

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diaper#Adult_usage

Astronauts wear trunk-like diapers called "Maximum Absorbency Garments", or MAGs, during liftoff and landing. On space shuttle missions, each crew member receives three diapers — for launch, reentry and a spare in case reentry has to be waved off and tried later. The super-absorbent fabric used in disposable diapers, which can hold up to 400 times its weight, was developed so Apollo astronauts could stay on spacewalks and extra-vehicular activity for at least six hours. Originally, only female astronauts would wear Maximum Absorbency Garments, as the collection devices used by men were unsuitable for women; however, reports of their comfort and effectiveness eventually convinced men to start wearing the diapers as well. Public awareness of astronaut diapers rose significantly following the arrest of Lisa Nowak, a NASA astronaut charged with attempted murder who gained notoriety in the media for driving 900 miles in an adult diaper so she would not have to stop to urinate. The diapers became fodder for many television comedians, as well as being included in an adaptation of the story in Law & Order: Criminal Intent, despite Nowak's denial that she wore them.

Other situations in which diapers are worn because access to a toilet is unavailable or not allowed include guards who must stay on duty and are not permitted to leave their post; this is sometimes called the "watchman's urinal". It has long been suggested that legislators don a diaper before an extended filibuster, so often that it has been jokingly called "taking to the diaper." There has certainly been at least one such instance, in which Strom Thurmond gave a record holding 24 hours and 18 minute speech. Some Death Row inmates who are about to be executed wear "execution diapers" to collect body fluids expelled during and after their death. People diving in diving suits (in former times often standard diving dresses) may wear diapers because they are underwater continuously for several hours. Similarly, pilots may also wear them on long flights. Some competitive weightlifters choose to wear diapers early in their training because the pressure makes them urinate involuntarily. In 2003, Hazards magazine reported that workers from various industries were taking to wearing diapers because their bosses denied them toilet breaks during working hours, while The Epoch Times claimed in 2006 that diapers are a popular way to avoid long bathroom lines during China's traveling season.

BearSquirrel

Baby wipes are more useful. You can also use them to clean cuts.

Two things any cycling pack should not be without: Baby Wipes and Duck Tape.

BearSquirrel

The external pressure underwater is much more than the pressure above the surface. This is the reason you have trouble doing this.

LowCel 

Sometimes after a hard night of drinking not even duct tape will stop it, that's where the baby wipes come in.

BearSquirrel

Seriously though, what I was commenting on was the versatility of both products. Wipes can be used to clean cuts, bike parts, your chain, your glasses. I need not speak to the versatility of duct tape. It can be used as a tire boot, it can hold a broken frame together (but only after you clean it), you can use it as a bandage for lacerations (again you want to clean that first).

edzo

I finish my 40 mile ride then go home and poop


Ok in an emergency I would find some woods and a place to squat

do it

then use leaves,
or one of the socks I carry which hold the tubes in my camelbak
(I use old socks around the 3 spare tube I carry)

or if I don't have the camelbak, a sacrificial sock

albyhellscream

ditto

RT

After a few days away from this thread...well...I am laughing out loud.

CentPARider

And this is how poop gets outside of a submerged submarine. Pressurize the system higher than sea pressure.

Just don’t open the ball valve to flush while this evolution is under way, or you will sustain psychological damage that won’t allow you to poop in a submarine ever again.

tropical

Why don't you just poo in the sock, put the sock in the zip lock bag and then put the bag in your camelbak. Pack it in, pack it out! Might stop another rider accidentally running over your business.

DirtPedalerB

I'd do that, but it looks too much like a clif bar so I don't want to risk it.