If you want lugged, it will need to be custom.

I am sure there is some of both, I am irritatingly short-waisted for my height but I do prefer a semi-upright position undeniably. That's what I'm trying to find possible with a drop bar, though I know that is not the usual setup. Sounds like a fitting would be enormously helpful here, I'm sure a shop around here could do one...I assume at least.

Even w/o lugs, I don't know of any production road bikes that align with what you're after, although I'm certainly no authority. Good luck.

For a few hundred dollars you could probably get a woman-specific aluminum bike and try it for a while ... get an adjustable stem (or a couple in different lengths) and play with stem length and angle, spacers, seat post height ..... A small bike with a long, flat stem will stretch you out, while that same bike with 15 mm of spacers and a shorter +17-degree might have you sitting almost bolt upright.

Also, small frames sometimes have more extreme seat-tube angles, so a really small frame with the seat up high might have a longer cockpit than a larger frame of the same style with a shorter post.

Going for custom Before you know exactly what you want is a big gamble IMO. if it fits, fantastic, but if not, you are pretty much stuck---no money, no returns, no comfortable bike to ride.

Sure they can put you on an adjustable in-16-dimensions jig in the shop, but that has nothing to do with how you will feel after an hour on the road. Also, as your body changes due to the constant conflict between fitness and age, you needs will change ... so that "perfect" fit today might be uncomfortable in several months, perfect again in 10 years for about a few months, and then all wrong again.

If I were going to get a custom frame built, I would want to have put a lot of miles on a similarly sized (at least contact points) bike so I would know that it fit, and so I would know what was sort of a median set of dimensions so I could later adjust the adjustables and keep my comfortable fit.

If the custom bike fit great but was at one end of the limit of adjustability, I'd be out of luck. (For example, my daily driver has maxed spacers and a +17 degree stem. If I want later on to move to a more upright riding position, I would need to get a new frame---can't go up any farther on that frame.)

I don't normally suggest compromise, but considering what you are likely to end up spending .. I'd buy a test bike or two first. I am sure you can get a bunch of small bikes off Craigslist or something ... they usually sell cheap because the market is small (no pun intended but it is pretty funny.)

Find a bike----any bike---which fits you well and ride it enough to be sure it has the right contact points: saddle, pedals, and bars. The you can work backwards from there to fit a frame that connects all those points.

I did a bunch of measurements and sketches and stuff before I decided what cheap Chinese carbon frame to buy .... and you are looking at spending ten times as much.

I have thought about this very seriously and have decided against a custom frame at this time, too many variables and the cost is just far too great...especially for a questionable outcome (due to my indecisiveness, not the manufacturer). That may be a project for a different time of life.

Taking the above advice, I have just tonight agreed on a purchase of a used bike that was custom built for a woman about my size. Will post details.

I found a 49cm De Rosa frame, custom made around 1999-2001 for a woman with a somewhat shorter waist and about two inches shorter than me. It is Columbus SLX, lugged with a full Campagnolo Chorus kit (with the modern "brifters) and Mavic rims. The condition is excellent as the owner is very knowledgeable and careful with his bikes, I am sure the geometry is more "race" BUT it may be the perfect opportunity to try different setups and expand my view a little of what is comfortable. The current stem I'm guessing will need to be replaced with something taller with less reach but I want to try it the way it is first.

Also, I find the bike very beautiful and most women I think are willing to put up with a little finagling to make the pretty bike work just right

Please post a picture or two.

These are what I have!

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Does it look ok? I spoke with the very kind and knowledgeable owner at LENGTH and I am hoping this will be an excellent machine for me. Fenders, racks and 38mm wheels it does not have but I might like trying something ultra-light...well certainly compared to what I'm used to

It looks really sweet. It also doesn't look That racy. You might eventually get a shorter stem (it looks like that one is about as high as it can be) and also bars with shorter reach and drop---those look to be some old-school giant bars.

A bike like that, if you maintain it well, should sell for about the same as you paid. a few years down the line, if you decide to replace it. if it were me, I'd keep that forever if it fit me. There are always going to be more bikes out there, but we have to snatch up the good ones when the present themselves.

You could buy a cheap cargo bike for grocery-getting on the side, where riding position wasn't super-important because you only planned to do trips around town ... or sit back and wait for a smallish touring bike to show up in the classifieds, and be riding this in the meantime---then all your cycling needs would be covered.

It looks great! You might be able to fit a wider tire in there, maybe as wide as 28.
DeRosa made stage racing type bikes, so not super twitchy.
If you want fenders you could use Raceblades, or so people tell me.
For light touring you can use a seatpost mounted rack.
That is a quill stem, you can buy Nitto stems in different sizes and raise the bars if you want.
Like maelochs wrote, handlebars come in many widths, drops, and different shapes.

Not Better.. just more like the majority of bikes ..
It has restricted fit geometry result: toe / wheel interference when shortening the top tube/reach.

Terry bikes started adopting a 24" front wheel from other bike designs to make fit less wierd.
now with 11t cassettes smaller wheels on both ends (Bike Friday, 451 , 20" wheels)

Others, often done: Steeper seat tubes, shifting the body forward, putting more pressure on the hands..

Oh I'm really glad it doesn't look super "race-y"! It didn't seem super aggressive looking to me, but I'm no expert in these matters . I agree, the bars look ridiculously huge and leggy, I like the look of the nitto noodle but I'm not sure if it will be too wide or not, best to see how these do when it comes and tweak from there I think. This bike is being shipped to me but I am very confident in its condition. The owner special-ordered it as a gift for his wife (who has moved on to carbon now, hence the selling) and has taken care of it since. He says there is no rust anywhere, not even inside the steering tube and the only marks are tiny dots of "chips" that only got through the red paint, not through the primer to the steel. He thinks the tires will probably need changing after a little while (drying out, as to be expected) but the cables, housings, bearings, drivetrain, brakes etc. all should be in perfect working order. He is even going to check the wheels for true before sending it. He's also including the frame pump and another stem he thinks may work better for me (that is treadless and will need an adaptor).

I think the price I paid was very fair, not a steal but certainly not overpaid, I could be wrong, not and expert at this either. That was our guess that if we want to sell it in the future we could get the same back, after all it will be "vintage" in a few years .

Your last comment is why I think this may be the perfect bike for me right now, my current "steed" is a Bullitt long john-style cargo bike, a huge thing (I regularly am pushing around 100lbs of bike and cargo) that I LOVE. It has fenders and wide wheels and obviously tons of storage ability so any foul weather or toting I have to do can obviously be done with that. It leaves the De Rosa for fun jaunts while my hubby can ride the Bullitt with our toddler.

Good buy. Congratulations.

I didn't know they were stage racing, that's good to know! The owner said he would include a seat post mounted rack that they've used on it. Thank you for mentioning the Nitto stems, I have looked into them and think they might be an ideal replacement. I'm a HAIR concerned the cables might not be long enough, though the current owner looked at them and thinks they would not be a problem, since the stem would move IN, then up. Do they look ok from the pictures?

ETA: He said it currently has 28mm wheels, he thought they had used 30 at one point and it was just too close. Is 28 a good size?

Those bars look a little big for a small person. Before you mess with the stem, you might look at "compact" bars like FSA Omega.

28 mm wheels (about 1 1/8--1 1/4 inches) are plenty wide enough for comfort. Bigger air volume, lower pressure, smoother ride.

Agreed, I'd love if a different bar could let me get a De rosa stem, they're so pretty but I doubt their dimensions would fit me . I looked at the bars you recommended but I think, sadly they only come in black? Anyone know of a compact silver bar?

Thank you, I was a little nervous posting it in case everyone would say I'd made a terrible mistake. Of course who knows if those opinions are being held back in deference to my feelings . We shall see when it arrives how good an idea it was I suppose!

It's not a big expense to lengthen the cables, it certainly will be worth it if it makes the bike fit.
28mm tires would probably be a cushy ride, but it depends on the surface you are riding on. I go against the conventional wisdom here and I ride 23s for everything and have for 30 years. Might try some 25s one of these days.

Back when steel ruled the bike world, a DeRosa was a very desireable bike. There were several Italian master framebuilders and Ugo DeRosa was certainly one of them.
I lusted for one around 1990 and ended up buying a much less expensive frameset.