What's the difference between a Fred and an OCP?
06-12-06, 08:14 AM
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Originally Posted by bbattle
And don't be a dork:
To help prevent from becoming objects of ridicule, here are 10 basic rules that if you adhere to faithfully, cycling dorkdom may never apply to you!
1. Never never never ever wear a mirror on your helmet. This one small thing will immediately put you in a major make-fun of position. Now, of course, some riders who live in major metro areas need a mirror when riding in traffic. But you if you choose this little glass helmet add-on, you will still be categorized immediately as a major stay-away-from dork.
2. For goodness sake, stop wearing Mercatone Uno or any other pro cycling apparel unless you perhaps actually ride for a pro team! Not many things will cause so many rolled eyes as a rider who shows up for a group ride completely decked out, from helmet to socks in some pro teams kit. YOU may think it is cool, but it is a major, major sign of dorkism. The only time this is allowed is when you are riding solo, and then only when no other riders will see you.
3. Replace your 6-year old Bell helmet. The alarm bells go off instantaneously when a rider with a Bell Vector or some such antique helmet rolls up. Eeeeeeeek!
4. PUH-LEEEEEEEEEEZ take your cycling shoes off sometime within, oh, 3 or 4 hours after you are done riding. Do not clatter all over the parking lot, registration, awards ceremony (EGAD!) with your cycling shoes on. Besides the obvious signs of dorkism, YOUR CLEATS ARE WEARING OUT!
5. GET OUT of your cycling shorts sometime within a week or so of completing your ride. Standing around the parking lot chatting for hours after your ride in your shorts (and shoes probably) is a big NO NO. Let me ask you this, do you see Lance hours after a race still with his shorts on ? UMMMM. NO. Pros immediately get out of their cycling clothes upon completion of the ride. For good reason. It is a good way to get saddle sores, not even counting the dork points you will pile up doing this.
6. NEVER BUY A "BIKE BRA". Only shop owners and rich snobs who ride C-40's and go slow use these. Bugs on your bike are a part of life dammit!
7. DO NOT tuck your jersey into you shorts when you ride. Umm, a bike jersey was not made to be tucked in, hello, the pockets on the back and such? Geeeeeeeeeeeeez.
8. SHAVE YOUR LEGS! Hairy legs are a monster giveaway to either being a major cycling dork, or, perhaps a victim of a very domineering wife.
9. DO NOT loudly describe to your friends after the ride how you "hammered" but then were dropped and finished 37th.
10. ROADIES w/ Camelbacks. Ummmmmm.. no..Acceptable only for RAAM riders and MTB, if you must.
10a. And last but not least: The dreaded Chainring mark. These black greasy nasty marks consist of a chainring impression upon the calve. Amazingly, Cat 4's and citizens never seem to see these marks, riding and walking around parking lots (in their cleats, of course) decorated with these tattoes of cycling dorkdom proudly displayed.
To help prevent from becoming objects of ridicule, here are 10 basic rules that if you adhere to faithfully, cycling dorkdom may never apply to you!
1. Never never never ever wear a mirror on your helmet. This one small thing will immediately put you in a major make-fun of position. Now, of course, some riders who live in major metro areas need a mirror when riding in traffic. But you if you choose this little glass helmet add-on, you will still be categorized immediately as a major stay-away-from dork.
2. For goodness sake, stop wearing Mercatone Uno or any other pro cycling apparel unless you perhaps actually ride for a pro team! Not many things will cause so many rolled eyes as a rider who shows up for a group ride completely decked out, from helmet to socks in some pro teams kit. YOU may think it is cool, but it is a major, major sign of dorkism. The only time this is allowed is when you are riding solo, and then only when no other riders will see you.
3. Replace your 6-year old Bell helmet. The alarm bells go off instantaneously when a rider with a Bell Vector or some such antique helmet rolls up. Eeeeeeeek!
4. PUH-LEEEEEEEEEEZ take your cycling shoes off sometime within, oh, 3 or 4 hours after you are done riding. Do not clatter all over the parking lot, registration, awards ceremony (EGAD!) with your cycling shoes on. Besides the obvious signs of dorkism, YOUR CLEATS ARE WEARING OUT!
5. GET OUT of your cycling shorts sometime within a week or so of completing your ride. Standing around the parking lot chatting for hours after your ride in your shorts (and shoes probably) is a big NO NO. Let me ask you this, do you see Lance hours after a race still with his shorts on ? UMMMM. NO. Pros immediately get out of their cycling clothes upon completion of the ride. For good reason. It is a good way to get saddle sores, not even counting the dork points you will pile up doing this.
6. NEVER BUY A "BIKE BRA". Only shop owners and rich snobs who ride C-40's and go slow use these. Bugs on your bike are a part of life dammit!
7. DO NOT tuck your jersey into you shorts when you ride. Umm, a bike jersey was not made to be tucked in, hello, the pockets on the back and such? Geeeeeeeeeeeeez.
8. SHAVE YOUR LEGS! Hairy legs are a monster giveaway to either being a major cycling dork, or, perhaps a victim of a very domineering wife.
9. DO NOT loudly describe to your friends after the ride how you "hammered" but then were dropped and finished 37th.
10. ROADIES w/ Camelbacks. Ummmmmm.. no..Acceptable only for RAAM riders and MTB, if you must.
10a. And last but not least: The dreaded Chainring mark. These black greasy nasty marks consist of a chainring impression upon the calve. Amazingly, Cat 4's and citizens never seem to see these marks, riding and walking around parking lots (in their cleats, of course) decorated with these tattoes of cycling dorkdom proudly displayed.
2. Same thing.
3. YOU havent changed yet.
4. Whatever
5. Whatever again
6.Didnt know they had them.
7. Dumb but someone needs to tell them.
8. Stupit again,not shaving means nothing except to YOU.
9. I agree.
10. Not a biggie as more are doing it.
I think you have a hugh problem,yourself.
06-12-06, 08:18 AM
#52
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Originally Posted by 55/Rad
And you don't get it. Spend some time getting to know the players before you make your catcalls from the peanut gallery.
Good job Mr. bbattle.
55/Rad
Good job Mr. bbattle.
55/Rad
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06-12-06, 08:50 AM
#54
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Originally Posted by Smoothie104
I think the difference is in self awareness. If you spend all the $$$ for all the high end stuff, and do it becuase you
a. can easily afford it
b. just like to have it
c. need it to feel important
All the while accepting your own performance limits..I'd Say OCP
Now, If you have all the $$$ stuff, and think it makes you:
a. a racer
b. faster
c. a better rider than you really are
I'd say Fred.
a. can easily afford it
b. just like to have it
c. need it to feel important
All the while accepting your own performance limits..I'd Say OCP
Now, If you have all the $$$ stuff, and think it makes you:
a. a racer
b. faster
c. a better rider than you really are
I'd say Fred.
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Plan Epsilon Around Lake Michigan in the era of Covid
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Gold Fever Three days of dirt in Colorado
Pokin' around the Poconos A cold ride around Lake Erie
Dinosaurs in Colorado A mountain bike guide to the Purgatory Canyon dinosaur trackway
Solo Without Pie. The search for pie in the Midwest.
Picking the Scablands. Washington and Oregon, 2005. Pie and spiders on the Columbia River!
06-12-06, 08:59 AM
#55
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Originally Posted by oujeep1
If you wear a helmet mirror or visor, or a camelback big enough to pack to a trip to everest, you are fred. MTB shoes on a road bike- fred.
Wow. Where do I begin?
- While I don't (yet) wear a helmet mirror, I cannot fathom why wearing one would be considered detrimental to the betterment of cycling. Why *wouldn't* you want to know where your ride partners are, or whether that Toyota is gaining on you at an alarming rate, or whether the cute cyclist you just passed is impressed with your move or pissed off about it...and why *wouldn't* you want to glean all that info without having to turn around? Refusing to wear a mirror strikes me as solipcistic, selfish, & conceited.
- You wouldn't believe how long it took me to find a helmet that *did* have a visor! Whatever happened to the good old days when you could buy a 3rd party visor as an add-on accessory? Oh, I guess all the bike shops decided such a gagdet was too "Fred" for their customers. I (and, presumably at least some other riders) need a visor because otherwise too much sun gets in at the top of my glasses. Yeah, sure, I could just buy different glasses with less of a gap at the top...but then I'd be OCP, right?
- in New York City we wear mountain bike shoes on our road bikes because A) at least 50% of the really cool long distance rides in the greater metropolitan area are one-way: you ride 80 or 100 miles through the gorgeous rolling hills (or painfull vertical climbs) of Harriman State Park, and then grab the train back home. You simply cannnot walk across the lobby of Grand Central Station in road bike shoes. Plenty of empirical evidence supports this; it's just an embarassing accident waiting to happen. B) likewise, nearly 100% of the really cool long distance rides in the greater metropolitan area (especially club rides) embark from the Central Park Boathouse. You simply cannnot walk into the rest rooms at the Central Park Boathouse in road bike shoes. Plenty of empirical evidence supports this; it's just an embarassing accident waiting to happen. Moreover, *because* we are New Yorkers, we don't take kindly to folks telling us our biking shoes make us look like a "Fred", and so we need a shoe that will inflict the most damage when impaled in the offender's butthole. Mountain bike shoes are way more effective for kicking the living crap out of anyone who insults us.
- I'm with you on camelbacks; those things are just stupid.
Last edited by Bob Ross; 06-12-06 at 09:08 AM.
06-12-06, 09:06 AM
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Originally Posted by 55/Rad
And you don't get it. Spend some time getting to know the players before you make your catcalls from the peanut gallery.
Good job Mr. bbattle.
55/Rad
Good job Mr. bbattle.
55/Rad
06-12-06, 10:06 AM
#57
Former Hoarder
Originally Posted by yater
People like me set the standard for cool...and laugh as people like you scurry around to find out what's "hot"
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06-12-06, 10:18 AM
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I'd hesitate to label someone as a Fred based on apparel only. There's a guy I sometimes see on the weekly hammerfest who shows up with an older lugged steel bike, downtube shifters, a rack (!), and knickers with long wool socks during winter rides. And then look a little more closely at his jersey and you notice the stars and stripes on the collar and cuffs. Yeah, that guy can ride a little.
06-12-06, 10:26 AM
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Originally Posted by caloso
I'd hesitate to label someone as a Fred based on apparel only. There's a guy I sometimes see on the weekly hammerfest who shows up with an older lugged steel bike, downtube shifters, a rack (!), and knickers with long wool socks during winter rides. And then look a little more closely at his jersey and you notice the stars and stripes on the collar and cuffs. Yeah, that guy can ride a little.
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Dead last finish is better than did not finish and infinitely better than did not start.
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06-12-06, 10:44 AM
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After yesterday I believe you can simataniously be both a Fred and OCP. I was finishing my ride, at the 60mile mark after some very fast riding with my teammates I as in recovery mode. This guy rides up on my next to me and starts to half wheel me. I look over and he's on a very nice bike (I'm not going into the type of bike due to the bashing that will follow) in a color co-ordinated kit (matches the bike, very OCP) and (here is the important part) wearing an ipod. He keeps bouncing from half wheeling me to sucking my wheel. The wheel sucking doesn't bother me but the half wheeling is starting to get on my nerves. We hit 3% 2 mile climb and he peals off my wheel and goes kinda wide to my right. There is a ton or broken glass and I yell out glass and point. He of course can't hear me because of his stupid ipod (this makes him a Fred) and rides through the glass and double flats. I think maybe I should be a good guy and stop and help, but I then think he got what he deserves and kept going (this may make me an a-hole). I have to admit that guys riding next to or near me with ipods really gets to me, it's unsafe for all concerned and IMHO very Fred like.
06-12-06, 11:47 AM
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Does anyone just ride without be being such a judge on the other riders? I see these guys and just dont give them much thought. I'm wondering how many of you would tell them to there face?
06-12-06, 12:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Bob Ross
- I'm with you on camelbacks; those things are just stupid.
Trust me, I'd rather die of thirst. Giardia lasts a couple of weeks and requires a semi truck load of toliet paper while dying of thirst is relatively quick 
A nice 100 oz. Camelbak is just the ticket.
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Plan Epsilon Around Lake Michigan in the era of Covid
Old School…When It Wasn’t Ancient bikepacking
Gold Fever Three days of dirt in Colorado
Pokin' around the Poconos A cold ride around Lake Erie
Dinosaurs in Colorado A mountain bike guide to the Purgatory Canyon dinosaur trackway
Solo Without Pie. The search for pie in the Midwest.
Picking the Scablands. Washington and Oregon, 2005. Pie and spiders on the Columbia River!
06-12-06, 03:13 PM
#63
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i think this is a "you know one when you see one" thing.
of course, i'm a fred to some people 'cause i wear a baseball cap instead of a cycling cap and my fixed gear has brakes and fenders.
of course, i'm a fred to some people 'cause i wear a baseball cap instead of a cycling cap and my fixed gear has brakes and fenders.
06-12-06, 05:11 PM
#64
Senior Member
I've been trying to hold back, but I can't do it any longer. I've been on a lot of internet forums, for all kinds of esoteric, and generally expensive pursuits and hobbies. These include sites for various sports cars (Porsche's and Ferrari's), motorcycles (BMW's and Ducati's) and very high-end watches, esoteric hi-fi gear, and collectible Fender guitars. I have yet to come across the kind of judgemental attitude that I've seen from some of the people who post on this site, and it's really pretty sad. I'm sure some of the "Fred" bashing may be in fun, but there more than a little vitriol running through some of the posts on this thread. If a roadie wants to drive 50 miles to ride 20, with a Camelback, wearing mountain bike shoes, in full team kit, WTF cares? If he can afford to spend $7k on a bike when $700 is more than enough bike for his ability, what's the big deal? Do you think his LSB is bashing him? It's people like him that keep their doors open.
06-12-06, 05:19 PM
#65
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[QUOTE=josephvman]I've been trying to hold back, but I can't do it any longer. I've been on a lot of internet forums, for all kinds of esoteric, and generally expensive pursuits and hobbies. These include sites for various sports cars (Porsche's and Ferrari's), motorcycles (BMW's and Ducati's) and very high-end watches, esoteric hi-fi gear, and collectible Fender guitars. I have yet to come across the kind of judgemental attitude that I've seen from some of the people who post on this site, and it's really pretty sad. QUOTE]
Thats probably because those pursuits and hobbies are all about how much you can spend, and how much polish you can put on stuff. Cycling is not about simply having the gear/equipment (may come as surprise to some) So once you factor human performance and competition into the equation, egos get in the way, feelings get hurt etc..
It's sad yes, but I find it very entertaining as well.
Thats probably because those pursuits and hobbies are all about how much you can spend, and how much polish you can put on stuff. Cycling is not about simply having the gear/equipment (may come as surprise to some) So once you factor human performance and competition into the equation, egos get in the way, feelings get hurt etc..
It's sad yes, but I find it very entertaining as well.
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06-12-06, 05:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Machka
The way to avoid helmet hair is not to wear the helmet at all. You don't need a helmet for posing next to your bicycle ... the token helmet (matching the bicycle of course) is clipped around the handlebars or top tube in a photographically pleasing manner to show off the color and brand in the best way possible.
06-12-06, 08:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Bob Ross
Wow. Where do I begin?
- While I don't (yet) wear a helmet mirror, I cannot fathom why wearing one would be considered detrimental to the betterment of cycling. Why *wouldn't* you want to know where your ride partners are, or whether that Toyota is gaining on you at an alarming rate, or whether the cute cyclist you just passed is impressed with your move or pissed off about it...and why *wouldn't* you want to glean all that info without having to turn around? Refusing to wear a mirror strikes me as solipcistic, selfish, & conceited.
- You wouldn't believe how long it took me to find a helmet that *did* have a visor! Whatever happened to the good old days when you could buy a 3rd party visor as an add-on accessory? Oh, I guess all the bike shops decided such a gagdet was too "Fred" for their customers. I (and, presumably at least some other riders) need a visor because otherwise too much sun gets in at the top of my glasses. Yeah, sure, I could just buy different glasses with less of a gap at the top...but then I'd be OCP, right?
- in New York City we wear mountain bike shoes on our road bikes because A) at least 50% of the really cool long distance rides in the greater metropolitan area are one-way: you ride 80 or 100 miles through the gorgeous rolling hills (or painfull vertical climbs) of Harriman State Park, and then grab the train back home. You simply cannnot walk across the lobby of Grand Central Station in road bike shoes. Plenty of empirical evidence supports this; it's just an embarassing accident waiting to happen. B) likewise, nearly 100% of the really cool long distance rides in the greater metropolitan area (especially club rides) embark from the Central Park Boathouse. You simply cannnot walk into the rest rooms at the Central Park Boathouse in road bike shoes. Plenty of empirical evidence supports this; it's just an embarassing accident waiting to happen. Moreover, *because* we are New Yorkers, we don't take kindly to folks telling us our biking shoes make us look like a "Fred", and so we need a shoe that will inflict the most damage when impaled in the offender's butthole. Mountain bike shoes are way more effective for kicking the living crap out of anyone who insults us.
- I'm with you on camelbacks; those things are just stupid.
- While I don't (yet) wear a helmet mirror, I cannot fathom why wearing one would be considered detrimental to the betterment of cycling. Why *wouldn't* you want to know where your ride partners are, or whether that Toyota is gaining on you at an alarming rate, or whether the cute cyclist you just passed is impressed with your move or pissed off about it...and why *wouldn't* you want to glean all that info without having to turn around? Refusing to wear a mirror strikes me as solipcistic, selfish, & conceited.
- You wouldn't believe how long it took me to find a helmet that *did* have a visor! Whatever happened to the good old days when you could buy a 3rd party visor as an add-on accessory? Oh, I guess all the bike shops decided such a gagdet was too "Fred" for their customers. I (and, presumably at least some other riders) need a visor because otherwise too much sun gets in at the top of my glasses. Yeah, sure, I could just buy different glasses with less of a gap at the top...but then I'd be OCP, right?
- in New York City we wear mountain bike shoes on our road bikes because A) at least 50% of the really cool long distance rides in the greater metropolitan area are one-way: you ride 80 or 100 miles through the gorgeous rolling hills (or painfull vertical climbs) of Harriman State Park, and then grab the train back home. You simply cannnot walk across the lobby of Grand Central Station in road bike shoes. Plenty of empirical evidence supports this; it's just an embarassing accident waiting to happen. B) likewise, nearly 100% of the really cool long distance rides in the greater metropolitan area (especially club rides) embark from the Central Park Boathouse. You simply cannnot walk into the rest rooms at the Central Park Boathouse in road bike shoes. Plenty of empirical evidence supports this; it's just an embarassing accident waiting to happen. Moreover, *because* we are New Yorkers, we don't take kindly to folks telling us our biking shoes make us look like a "Fred", and so we need a shoe that will inflict the most damage when impaled in the offender's butthole. Mountain bike shoes are way more effective for kicking the living crap out of anyone who insults us.
- I'm with you on camelbacks; those things are just stupid.
06-13-06, 07:31 AM
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[QUOTE=Smoothie104]
About how much you can spend,how much polish you can put on, you could just as easy say that about any hobby inc cycling but as in any hobby,they are different things to different people.
Originally Posted by josephvman
I've been trying to hold back, but I can't do it any longer. I've been on a lot of internet forums, for all kinds of esoteric, and generally expensive pursuits and hobbies. These include sites for various sports cars (Porsche's and Ferrari's), motorcycles (BMW's and Ducati's) and very high-end watches, esoteric hi-fi gear, and collectible Fender guitars. I have yet to come across the kind of judgemental attitude that I've seen from some of the people who post on this site, and it's really pretty sad. QUOTE]
Thats probably because those pursuits and hobbies are all about how much you can spend, and how much polish you can put on stuff. Cycling is not about simply having the gear/equipment (may come as surprise to some) So once you factor human performance and competition into the equation, egos get in the way, feelings get hurt etc..
It's sad yes, but I find it very entertaining as well.
Thats probably because those pursuits and hobbies are all about how much you can spend, and how much polish you can put on stuff. Cycling is not about simply having the gear/equipment (may come as surprise to some) So once you factor human performance and competition into the equation, egos get in the way, feelings get hurt etc..
It's sad yes, but I find it very entertaining as well.
06-13-06, 07:46 AM
#69
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Has something happened in NYC in the last year? I don't recall that "We" all wore mountain bike shoes. Certainly not the "We" that I rode with
Originally Posted by Bob Ross
- in New York City we wear mountain bike shoes on our road bikes because A) at least 50% of the really cool long distance rides in the greater metropolitan area are one-way: you ride 80 or 100 miles through the gorgeous rolling hills (or painfull vertical climbs) of Harriman State Park, and then grab the train back home. You simply cannnot walk across the lobby of Grand Central Station in road bike shoes. Plenty of empirical evidence supports this; it's just an embarassing accident waiting to happen. B) likewise, nearly 100% of the really cool long distance rides in the greater metropolitan area (especially club rides) embark from the Central Park Boathouse. You simply cannnot walk into the rest rooms at the Central Park Boathouse in road bike shoes. Plenty of empirical evidence supports this; it's just an embarassing accident waiting to happen. Moreover, *because* we are New Yorkers, we don't take kindly to folks telling us our biking shoes make us look like a "Fred", and so we need a shoe that will inflict the most damage when impaled in the offender's butthole. Mountain bike shoes are way more effective for kicking the living crap out of anyone who insults us.
06-13-06, 10:00 AM
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What's the difference between a Fred and an OCP?
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Sono più lento di quel che sembra.
Odio la gente, tutti.
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Sono più lento di quel che sembra.
Odio la gente, tutti.
Want to upgrade your membership? Click Here.
06-13-06, 03:30 PM
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Originally Posted by lotek
about $3000.00
finally somebody gets it right.
