Here is picture of me back in eastern bloc, when name was Olga Grundlehaus. Olga win gold medallion in World handstand competition, and demonstrate crushing strength of motherland!


Here capitalist pig John Smith try same, and fail like jacobian fart stain he is.

Look at silly capitalist pig dog's tophat and spectacles! Unequal to glorious shimmering Soviet spandex!

Good to see you posting again, KP.

God I used to run gearing like that on my flatland bike, like 28x14 or something.

here closeup of Olga when concentration for handstand reach fever pitch of 1917 revolution. Note glorious spandexings once more.

Olga receiving flower from child girl, seconds before eating her for day's required protein.

I'd hit you.

Looks like you finally solved that rear view mirror delema.

To prepare for competition, Olga and other athletes invade Finland. Soviet sport training always involve firearms. This why we win Cold War.

Flip it.

Here 1978 mayday parade in red square. All the peoples scream to Olga: "Olga! Do gold medallion winning hand stand again!" Kruschev call me hero of CCCP, and compare Olga to Vasily Zaitsev. See Olga? In between ICBM and gaggle of red army soldier!

See! Olga celebrates winning first handstand competition at age 7. Look at my little girl smile. So cute!

Life not all fun and game for Olga. Soviet food was bad! Here is picture of athlete canteen. I complained much about accommodations, but comrades laugh and call me dirty Chechen peasant!

This upset Olga, and so I escape from glorious Iron Curtain with sub par eateries and come to capitalist pig dog America, land of the bourgeoisie factory tycoon. I discover much better canteen here:


This satisfied Olga.

Also, I get sex change. Doctor too expensive, so I buy mans clothes in Lands End catalog and buy ***** at local sex toy emporium Toys R Us. Here is picture of hansom new improved Gustaf Grundelhaus.

Gudt vork! Komrade!

This thread is AWESOME!

I was just getting tired of BF and now we have a gem! Go Olga! No blow-up dolls for you!

Slow day at the office?

Eventually Gustaf (new improved Olga!) grew to missing boyfriend and so had him sent to dirty capitalist pig America via Fedex. We live happy for a while, but then grow to want more. Law not allow former Olga to marry Ivan. This angered former Olga. Here is Gustaf training for American handstand competings. Don't worry, I won!


Massachusetts make non natural marriage legal, and so Gustaf and Ivan married. Here is honeymoon video of glorious happy couple consummating marriage.

Olga !
I swoon for your glorious dialectic.

An aside:

Back when Olga still wearing training girdle, she encountered bear in woods. Bear was angry and try to kill Olga. Olga lead bear to glorious CCCP highway and wait for car to come. Bear was hit by car, and Olga do handstand on head of bear while this happens! That is how Olga (Gustaf) found calling. Moscow is dangerous place.

This is an amazing thread. I'm also assuming that you have something due soon and are finding anything to help you procrastinate - that's what I'm doing on BF in the first place.

In CCCP, when Olga win, Olga receive electrocutions for benefit of glorious collective. In capitalist pig dog US of A, when Gustaf win, Gustaf receive unglorious millions of rubles for endorsements. Here is first endorsement Gustaf make back when he first receive sex change (Gustaf buy shirt at LL Bean!). This allowed Gustaf and Ivan money necessary to procure marraigings.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ARAVU30iYcQ

American capitalist pig BikerFox, he scoff at pinko Olga headstand skill.

Toes not pointed. Elbows bent. Body not straight. All Gustaf see is bad form. Bikerfox not fit for glorious competitions at elementary level in CCCP. Need more invasions of Finland to get good!

In Soviet Russia, bike ride you!