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Redneck Repellent?

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Redneck Repellent?

Old 08-06-08, 06:09 AM
  #1  
LVRider
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Redneck Repellent?

I live in a very rural area of Pennsylvania, just below the Pocono Mountains, where shotguns, Ford Trucks Harleys and country music rule the roost. Rednecks in trucks are a constant problem for me when i'm on the road bike, throwing stuff, heckling and trying to run cyclists off the road. This is so much so that there are times I gladly put the road bike in the car (hate doing this, I just want to ride out my front door) and go about 15 miles away to the Lehigh Valley Velodrome/Preferred Cycling Center and surrounding areas to ride, just because cyclists are generally not bothered by motorists around there.
The obvious solution to this problem would be to move, but my wife and I live on her family farm and run a plant nursery, so that's not going to happen. A good friend suggested I get an American flag jersey to wear when I ride around here, as no redneck will mess with the flag. I prefer my shop jerseys and solid colrs, but if this will work, I'm all for it. Any other ideas/suggestions? I really only want to ride the mountain bike around here, it's that much of a PITA. Thanks.
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Old 08-06-08, 06:14 AM
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maybe a confederate flag jersey? or a Bocephus jersey? an NRA jersey would work too.
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Old 08-06-08, 06:17 AM
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Rebel flag jersey, Dale Earnhardt Jr Jersey, Dale Earnhardt Sr Jersey, RealTree Jersey... thats about all I can think of. OH, or wear one of those helmets that hold a beer on each side with straws, Just mount some fake cans, all rednecks think those are GREAAAAT!!!
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Old 08-06-08, 06:18 AM
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Wear a jersey w/ this on it:

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Old 08-06-08, 06:18 AM
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I think you need to dress as if you're riding b/c you got a DUI.
maybe jeans, sneakers and a Miller lite giveaway t-shirt.
and turn those bars upward so you don't have to lean down as far.
riding a girl's Walmart bike wouldn't hurt either.
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Old 08-06-08, 06:19 AM
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Primal Wear usually has a Lynyrd Skynyrd jersey available
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Old 08-06-08, 06:20 AM
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Originally Posted by hokiesean24 View Post
Rebel flag jersey, Dale Earnhardt Jr Jersey, Dale Earnhardt Sr Jersey, RealTree Jersey... thats about all I can think of. OH, or wear one of those helmets that hold a beer on each side with straws, Just mount some fake cans, all rednecks think those are GREAAAAT!!!
Risky. Good if your in Earnhardt Country, but if you run into a Tony Stewart, or Jeff Gordon country, its open hunting season.
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Old 08-06-08, 06:26 AM
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^^ true, but any full blooded redneck has respect for DE Sr especially. Hell, most of them credit that as the only event in their life that ever brought real actual tears to their eyes...
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Old 08-06-08, 06:27 AM
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Get an old wig and trim it into a 'mullett' then glue it on to your helmet

Last edited by mrbUSA; 12-16-08 at 09:53 AM.
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Old 08-06-08, 06:36 AM
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Try one of these.






Paint this one as a Stillers (Steelers) helmet, and you should be golden!

Again, add the Stillers logo and your new cycling jersey is def acceptable!

Last edited by hokiesean24; 08-06-08 at 06:40 AM.
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Old 08-06-08, 06:39 AM
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Get a Bass Pro Shop t-shirt.
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Old 08-06-08, 06:43 AM
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Originally Posted by LVRider View Post
I live in a very rural area of Pennsylvania, just below the Pocono Mountains, where shotguns, Ford Trucks Harleys and country music rule the roost. Rednecks in trucks are a constant problem for me when i'm on the road bike, throwing stuff, heckling and trying to run cyclists off the road. This is so much so that there are times I gladly put the road bike in the car (hate doing this, I just want to ride out my front door) and go about 15 miles away to the Lehigh Valley Velodrome/Preferred Cycling Center and surrounding areas to ride, just because cyclists are generally not bothered by motorists around there.
The obvious solution to this problem would be to move, but my wife and I live on her family farm and run a plant nursery, so that's not going to happen. A good friend suggested I get an American flag jersey to wear when I ride around here, as no redneck will mess with the flag. I prefer my shop jerseys and solid colrs, but if this will work, I'm all for it. Any other ideas/suggestions? I really only want to ride the mountain bike around here, it's that much of a PITA. Thanks.
It didn't work for Peter Fonda's character in Easy Rider (which is just like real life).

Maybe you'll have better luck with one of these:
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Old 08-06-08, 07:16 AM
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gun rack on bike
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Old 08-06-08, 07:16 AM
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Maybe put leather streamers in your bar ends.

(I've always thought those streamers harley guys use were ********)
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Old 08-06-08, 07:18 AM
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Originally Posted by hokiesean24 View Post
Paint this one as a Stillers (Steelers) helmet, and you should be golden!
He lives in the Poconos.
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Old 08-06-08, 07:18 AM
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I have a fairly large number of redneck friends down here in Texas and I solved the problem of their constant snickering by getting one of them on a bike... he now rides all the time, has a LeMond roadie and a Cannnodale hybrid he commutes to work on.... the rest of the rednecks are in awe and have realized that cycling is not the wuss activity they assumed... they even act concerned when we are training in the rain... funny. It also helps to show them vid of bike crashes... that never fails to impress them with how tough cyclists are...
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Old 08-06-08, 07:22 AM
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Ride one of these...



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Old 08-06-08, 07:26 AM
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I am not so sure a Confederate battle flag would work too well in Pennsylvania. Not all rednecks live in the South!
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Old 08-06-08, 07:27 AM
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Seems you could have it backwards. Instead of looking for a "redneck repellant". a phrase loaded with cultural stereotypes, why not look for a "redneck attractant"?

There is an old country saying, something about getting more ________ with sugar than salt.
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Old 08-06-08, 07:36 AM
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The correct answer is "flies," which is probably not what you were suggesting.
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Old 08-06-08, 07:42 AM
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Old 08-06-08, 07:44 AM
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sucks to be the OP, rednecks suck
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Old 08-06-08, 07:50 AM
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yeah... all these jersey suggestions are assuming that rednecks:
- can read
- will read
- will care

Sorry bud, I think the only reasonable alternative is to go into force escalation mode. They hassle you, you pull out the .357 and pop a tire. They run you off the road, put a couple of rounds into their gas tank. Etc.
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Old 08-06-08, 07:52 AM
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Until Toby Keith starts building custom frames, I'd suggest a handlebar iPod hooked to a loudspeaker that plays Lee Greenwood on an endless loop.
 
Old 08-06-08, 08:02 AM
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Originally Posted by uber****er View Post
The correct answer is "flies," which is probably not what you were suggesting.
While you are literally correct, nonetheless you are culturally out of step. Country people actually use the expression to mean, "get what you want" with sugar than salt. The OP certainly is failing in that regard. He wants to ride in his neighborhood, but is being mistreated. Think about that for a moment. The people that know him are the very ones who are his "problem". When he rides near his farm, he is ridiculed. Only when he goes 15 miles away, is he left alone. Sounds to me this dude has not figured out how to get along in his community.
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