husband addicted to cycling
06-04-14 | 12:11 PM
#51
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Mine is addicted, too and it has only gotten worse. Strava feeds this addiction. His other interests include: nothing. And it's nothing to joke about. I ride, too, and we used to ride together. Not any more because I can't keep up. It's amazing how the behaviors of addicts are all the same. No other interests. Focused on the addiction all the time and needing to feed it. Ruining relationships with people that love you. Talk does not do any good except for a temporary bit of time. Then it's back to the way it was.
06-04-14 | 12:14 PM
#52
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My earlier post about the carbon fiber teddy has struck a creative nerve in me. What about pro kit lingerie and underwear? Oh, think of the possibilities! Who wouldn't get their "cadence" up when their GF/wife strolled into the bedroom in a Rabobank slip or Cofidis corset? Grrr, baby! Yeah! 
Definitely NOT Liquigas.
06-04-14 | 12:14 PM
#53
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06-04-14 | 01:30 PM
#56
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From: Rocket City, No'ala
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Wow, talk about thread resurrections. Responding to a ten year old troll thread has to be some sort of record.
06-04-14 | 01:33 PM
#57
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06-04-14 | 01:43 PM
#58
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That clocked55 resurrected a ten-year-old thread and made her first post shows what a serious matter this is to her.
I would ask how long your husband has been cycling. Sometimes, when one discovers a wonderful, reinforcing activity such as cycling, an initial period of infatuation is natural -- call it a honeymoon. I went through one with tennis about 5 years ago, and am going through one with cycling now. If, however, this "infatuation" persists long enough to become an obsession, then it may be indicative of addictive behavior.
Has your husband shown behavior like this to another activity or substance in the past? I ask because addition is a persistent behavioral pattern.
Pretty much everyone on this forum loves to ride their bikes. When we hear someone *REALLY, REALLY* likes to ride, we tend to see it as just an extension of our own pleasure in the activity. But addictive behavior is something else.
If you're in touch with any of his riding buddies, you might ask them if they sense your husband is, uh, a bit extreme in his enthusiasm.
Good luck and let us know how things go.
I would ask how long your husband has been cycling. Sometimes, when one discovers a wonderful, reinforcing activity such as cycling, an initial period of infatuation is natural -- call it a honeymoon. I went through one with tennis about 5 years ago, and am going through one with cycling now. If, however, this "infatuation" persists long enough to become an obsession, then it may be indicative of addictive behavior.
Has your husband shown behavior like this to another activity or substance in the past? I ask because addition is a persistent behavioral pattern.
Pretty much everyone on this forum loves to ride their bikes. When we hear someone *REALLY, REALLY* likes to ride, we tend to see it as just an extension of our own pleasure in the activity. But addictive behavior is something else.
If you're in touch with any of his riding buddies, you might ask them if they sense your husband is, uh, a bit extreme in his enthusiasm.
Good luck and let us know how things go.
06-04-14 | 03:41 PM
#61
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06-04-14 | 04:25 PM
#62
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This is a tough question - and probably not really a bicycle question.
Priorities between you and your spouse are different. This is probably a bad place to look for useful answers (IMHO).
dave
Priorities between you and your spouse are different. This is probably a bad place to look for useful answers (IMHO).
dave
06-04-14 | 05:11 PM
#63
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This made me laugh. It's also a refresher from all the amateur councilor/therapist advice. This makes some of the medical advice sound good.
06-04-14 | 06:03 PM
#64
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I'm willing to betcha he just hates that darned tandem! That's probably more like a ball and chain to 'em...
Get a bonafide road bike and take off with the girls!
Have him get you a Giant Defy 1 and embrace the sport, just like has. Find a woman's bike club!
Once you're with the girls for hours unseen for most of the day, he'll start wondering why you don't spend more time with him!
Get a bonafide road bike and take off with the girls!
Have him get you a Giant Defy 1 and embrace the sport, just like has. Find a woman's bike club!
Once you're with the girls for hours unseen for most of the day, he'll start wondering why you don't spend more time with him!
06-04-14 | 06:10 PM
#65
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Woman, maybe be less high-maintenance and less needy. Oh wait, the REAL jdon***** is reading this now. 
06-04-14 | 06:38 PM
#67
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Terrible idea. Tandems? C'mon. My wife is a casual cyclist who bikes to work when she can. I built her up a nice commuter bike. We do family bike rides when in the summer when the close the lakeside blvd to traffic. She is somewhat concerned about the increase in spandex in my wardrobe, but she gets that it's my form of exercise and stress release. She told me she would never want a tandem and I couldn't agree more. She pointed out that it's always the woman on the back.
06-04-14 | 06:57 PM
#69
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No disrespect intended... how's your relationship overall? If a man is not feeling like he's being "heard" in his marriage, his interests will go elsewhere, to a sport, activity, or other women.
Your husband spending more time on the bike than with you is the outward manifestation of very complex interactions and history between you two. There probably won't be anyone here who can suggest a quick-fix cure for you two.
Counseling would be a start.
The tone of your posting suggests somewhat of an accounting mentality toward your relationship. "I spend time on a tandem, therefore I should get something in return". "How can I get him to" displays a desire to control the other person.
If you keep going in that direction, you're headed for the rocks, believe me.
Strategic thinking and preservation of self-interest are no substitute for the selfless love that is required as the bedrock of marriage.
Your husband spending more time on the bike than with you is the outward manifestation of very complex interactions and history between you two. There probably won't be anyone here who can suggest a quick-fix cure for you two.
Counseling would be a start.
The tone of your posting suggests somewhat of an accounting mentality toward your relationship. "I spend time on a tandem, therefore I should get something in return". "How can I get him to" displays a desire to control the other person.
If you keep going in that direction, you're headed for the rocks, believe me.
Strategic thinking and preservation of self-interest are no substitute for the selfless love that is required as the bedrock of marriage.
If you are not a counselor you should think getting into it...maybe
06-04-14 | 07:03 PM
#70
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06-04-14 | 08:46 PM
#71
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I bet he's trim. I bet his moods are good. I bet his weiner still works without pharmaceutical aids. Appreciate that you are married to someone taking care of himself.
06-04-14 | 08:51 PM
#72
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She should entertain herself with a pool boy while he's out. Everybody wins.
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06-04-14 | 09:41 PM
#73
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06-04-14 | 11:07 PM
#74
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Sean Kelly said it best
Sean Kelly, being interviewed after the ’84 Amstel Gold Race, spots his wife leaning against his Citroën AX. He interrupts the interview to tell her to get off the paintwork, to which she shrugs, “In your life the car comes first, then the bike, then me.” Instinctively, he snaps back, “You got the order wrong. The bike comes first.
Sean Kelly, being interviewed after the ’84 Amstel Gold Race, spots his wife leaning against his Citroën AX. He interrupts the interview to tell her to get off the paintwork, to which she shrugs, “In your life the car comes first, then the bike, then me.” Instinctively, he snaps back, “You got the order wrong. The bike comes first.
