Jan's Blog Page
04-26-06, 10:33 AM
#1
Vanned.
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04-26-06, 11:10 AM
#6
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"I am too busy grinding the hearts of the weak people to powder with the mortar and pestle that are my massive thighs."
Fantastic!
Fantastic!
04-26-06, 11:16 AM
#7
Elite Fred
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I haven't laughed so much since the day I discovered Homestarrunner.
04-26-06, 03:09 PM
#8
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That has got to be the funniest thing I have seen in here since I joined...hell it may just be the funniest thing I have ever read. I loved it!!
Cheers,
Brian
Cheers,
Brian
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A good teacher protects his pupils from his own influence.
― Bruce Lee
A good teacher protects his pupils from his own influence.
― Bruce Lee
04-26-06, 07:18 PM
#10
By-Tor...or the Snow Dog?
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"That dog was cute
And he was delicious"
ahahahahahahahahahahaha
And he was delicious"
ahahahahahahahahahahaha
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04-26-06, 07:56 PM
#11
Behind EVERYone!!!
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Originally Posted by Hipcycler
I think it's really EURO who set that up there.
__________________
A good teacher protects his pupils from his own influence.
― Bruce Lee
A good teacher protects his pupils from his own influence.
― Bruce Lee
04-26-06, 08:38 PM
#12
half man - half sheep
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THis is gold.
"The Jan is not going to be losing the Tour in 2006 to some hairy little spaghetti-legged monkey from Italy."
"The Jan is not going to be losing the Tour in 2006 to some hairy little spaghetti-legged monkey from Italy."
04-26-06, 09:06 PM
#14
Feed me your soul!
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Sure, the Lance won 7 Tours, but did he ever win a stage naked? No, the Jan is thinking not.
04-27-06, 11:34 AM
#16
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a portion of the newest entry:
"The Jan has just done the finishing of the stage two of the tour of Romandie. Romandie is being the worst country the Jan has ever been to. It is smelling like cabbage, and the all the women are looking like wooly sacks of potatoes. Preferably the Jan must dine on the liver of fourteen virgins every morning to be strong, but there are not being 14 virgins in all of Romandie, the Jan is thinking. So I am not crushing as many souls as I am normally doing.
Oh, do not being getting the Jan wrong, there has been much weeping and gnashing of teeth as I flow down over the peloton like the hot pink spectre of doom and pestilence that all men know me to be. But the true crushing has not yet done the beginning in earnest. Only once will I open the portal to pain and death and rain down a storm from the darkest of hells upon the peloton. That will be in the July, of course."
"The Jan has just done the finishing of the stage two of the tour of Romandie. Romandie is being the worst country the Jan has ever been to. It is smelling like cabbage, and the all the women are looking like wooly sacks of potatoes. Preferably the Jan must dine on the liver of fourteen virgins every morning to be strong, but there are not being 14 virgins in all of Romandie, the Jan is thinking. So I am not crushing as many souls as I am normally doing.
Oh, do not being getting the Jan wrong, there has been much weeping and gnashing of teeth as I flow down over the peloton like the hot pink spectre of doom and pestilence that all men know me to be. But the true crushing has not yet done the beginning in earnest. Only once will I open the portal to pain and death and rain down a storm from the darkest of hells upon the peloton. That will be in the July, of course."
04-27-06, 11:42 AM
#17
1/2 a binding 1/2 a brain
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"The team doctor says that I am worn out, that I have been porking Bjarne Riis' wife too much. I am saying, yes, this task is not being easy, for it is requiring the mountain climbing gear, and the hazmat suit, and the stomach of iron, but I am still doing it. If I am not porking Bjarne Riis' wife, then who will? Certainly not Mr. Fussy Pants Throw a Bicycle Baby Face Bjarne. He is not liking the company of women, I am hearing thourgh the grapevine. It is apparently the truth that the Bjarne Riis likes to hump donkeys."
04-27-06, 12:02 PM
#18
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04-27-06, 05:20 PM
#19
unaangalia nini?
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O.M.F.G
This is golden!!!!
This is golden!!!!
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04-27-06, 07:05 PM
#20
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Originally Posted by 60cycle
a portion of the newest entry:
"The Jan has just done the finishing of the stage two of the tour of Romandie. Romandie is being the worst country the Jan has ever been to. It is smelling like cabbage, and the all the women are looking like wooly sacks of potatoes. Preferably the Jan must dine on the liver of fourteen virgins every morning to be strong, but there are not being 14 virgins in all of Romandie, the Jan is thinking. So I am not crushing as many souls as I am normally doing.
Oh, do not being getting the Jan wrong, there has been much weeping and gnashing of teeth as I flow down over the peloton like the hot pink spectre of doom and pestilence that all men know me to be. But the true crushing has not yet done the beginning in earnest. Only once will I open the portal to pain and death and rain down a storm from the darkest of hells upon the peloton. That will be in the July, of course."
"The Jan has just done the finishing of the stage two of the tour of Romandie. Romandie is being the worst country the Jan has ever been to. It is smelling like cabbage, and the all the women are looking like wooly sacks of potatoes. Preferably the Jan must dine on the liver of fourteen virgins every morning to be strong, but there are not being 14 virgins in all of Romandie, the Jan is thinking. So I am not crushing as many souls as I am normally doing.
Oh, do not being getting the Jan wrong, there has been much weeping and gnashing of teeth as I flow down over the peloton like the hot pink spectre of doom and pestilence that all men know me to be. But the true crushing has not yet done the beginning in earnest. Only once will I open the portal to pain and death and rain down a storm from the darkest of hells upon the peloton. That will be in the July, of course."
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A good teacher protects his pupils from his own influence.
― Bruce Lee
A good teacher protects his pupils from his own influence.
― Bruce Lee
04-27-06, 07:13 PM
#21
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I wonder if the REAL Jan knows about this blog? I am thinking the Jan would not be seeing the humour.
I think it's hilarious - are there any other ones out there for other riders?
I think it's hilarious - are there any other ones out there for other riders?
04-27-06, 07:30 PM
#22
Feed me your soul!
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I think the real Jan would love it. Haha... either way, I laugh even when I re-read them.
04-27-06, 07:37 PM
#23
www.onecycles.com
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I feel confident that it is the real Jan. so he struggles a little with the english, but not so much that he writes his blog in his native tongue.
04-27-06, 07:53 PM
#24
Feed me your soul!
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This might be the best thing I have ever read...
It is not being the easy to sculpt this flesh-temple of wonder that we are calling "The Jan." No, it is not being easy at all. Lo, and gaze upon these twin monsters of dark muscle upon which I will build my unholy church. How many road-widows have they made? The Jan can still hear the wails, and he is much comforted. How many children have been abandoned, how many have gone hungry when their fathers were mashed between my horgantuan thigh-beasts like so much mashed-up stuff? The Jan is hearing these questions, but he cannot be granting you an answer.
The victims of these monstrous thigh-beasts are being as countless as the grains of sand on a beach, as infinite as the stars in the sky. To pass between these twin colossi of pain is to pass across the border into a shadow world of death and eternal damnation.
The victims of these monstrous thigh-beasts are being as countless as the grains of sand on a beach, as infinite as the stars in the sky. To pass between these twin colossi of pain is to pass across the border into a shadow world of death and eternal damnation.
