well today at stumptown i was sitting outside with a coffee. had to go in and use the bathroom though, as coffee is a natural laxative anyways my friend was watching my (unlocked) bike while i went. when i get back i sit down and there's this sketchy guy eyeing my bike but i figure he's just checking it out. there was quite a few people around by the way, this is rush hour. then he tries to get on and ride it away so i politely inform him that it's not his bike, and give him a nice punch to the grill. alright minus that last part, i'm not trying to get 86'd from the best coffee shop in portland. anyways post your stories of confrontations with bike thieves.

Once I was at a party, sitting on the porch chatting with my pal. I had freelocked my bike in the back yard, knowing that the only way out of the yard was to walk by where I was standing. And sure enough, totally sketchy college dude comes out from the backyard pulling my bike, which has its back wheel locked to the frame. I was just like, "Hey dude, that's MY bike," and the gave it to me and appologized, as if he had just grabbed the wrong bike on the way out. I didn't feel any need to be confrontational.

HOWEVER, this dude I had never met before (who I later found out is named "Yeti") decided to take this guy on for me. He jumps off the porch from behind me and chases the poor would-be bike theif down the street, shouting about how only scumbags steal bikes, etc. I talking with him for a while after, and he told me that he had my back-- and if I ever need help, just to shout out "YETI" as loud as I could.

One day I'm gonna.

i've never caught anyone really ****ing with my bike. once i caught a guy trying to take my fender when i came out from a building to unlock my bike, and i was just like "excuse me sir" and unlocked my bike and rode off like nothing happened.

but people do some ****ed up **** to my bike. once, someone twisted my stem nearly 180 degrees (well, as far as the bars can turn) so my handlebars were insanely crooked. i left my tool at home that day, so riding home was a mission.

That's a pretty ballsy move to pull out front of stumptown, I would imagine if you caused enough of a scene you'd have a bunch of guys there to back you up.


I've never had a direct experience other than returning to my bike to find my lock had been messed with. The worst is when people have their seatposts/saddles stolen because of quick release collars, it happens here on campus pretty often. I've never seen anyone riding around carrying a seat and post, must be ackward as hell.

you don't go to college in eugene do you? i've heard some great stories about bike theft there... enough to make someone want to roll with two nyfu's if they have anything other then a beater.

I had locked my bike up one day last year, came back a couple of hrs later and the front tire was flat, didn't have a wrench or a tube for some reason so I ended up walking home with a seat and a front wheel. Needless to say I got a bunch of wierd looks.

the other day when I locked up downtown to go the library(MLK) I came out and there were two guys standing right next to my bike, they seemed to be trying to work out their game plan as I saw a lot of sawing motions as I was walking to my bike. I just unlocked got on and rode away. as I was leaving one of them said "hey thats a pretty nice bike you got there" that scared me into a bigger lock

Why wasn't your bike locked?

it was, I wasn't very clear from the way I worded it

No, the other big school with a lame mascot. Bike theft isn't as bad here as we don't have the hippy with no job or meth user population that Eugene does.

I think hippy is an often misunderstood term. I think the new term for a lot of that kind of people should be "lazy no goodnick with dreads who dicks around all day thinking that he's 'living the life,' contributing nothing and generally feeling entitled."

i wandered out of a bar on a saturday night two winters ago, with my bike locked up about a block away, and saw some dude trying to steal my seat. he apparently carried an allen wrench, as i didn't have a quick release.

joke was on him, though, as that seatpost was rusted firmly in place (thank you, road salt), and no amount of yanking was going to get it out of the frame.

the real hippies now use the term "social activist"

While in college... I came out of the dorm one morning to ride my bike to check the surf but my bike was gone. (it was locked to itself) I end up walking to the beach and see my bike locked in the back of an SUV. I was tempted to open the SUV myself using my master key (large rock) but instead I called the cops. They showed up at the same time as the owner of the SUV, I got my bike back, and he got taken in (there was another bike in there as well). Apparently he was so wasted he didn't even remember stealing the two bikes.

https://www.bikeforums.net/singlespeed-fixed-gear/232664-caught-someone-stealing-my-bike.html <-my story

people who steal bikes should get the **** kicked out of them, end of story.

Odd: people in Toronto have to deal with even their seatpost collars getting stolen for the scrap aluminum (ie. if they take their saddle/post inside).

Truly bizarre: I had a customer who was standing next to his (poorly) locked up bike talking on his cell phone. Someone came up and stole the rear wheel, made off and he didn't even notice.

Great thread - I had two bikes stolen, one locked one unlocked - both of them in Bern, Switzerland one of the wealthiest places in the world - but they also have a lot of drug addicts, and low enforcement on petty theft.

Totally, it's THE messenger chill spot in the mornings. Imagining messers throwing punches in between sips of $1 cups of joe is pretty amusing.

Funny, i had to confront some guys fondleing my bike infront of Stump Town Coffee on Belmont street in the morning... Lucky for me I had two friends with me... And another time some duche was standing on my bike while putting a sticker on the back of a stop sign...

Ahh Portland...

The first bike I bought when I started cycling again was a hardtail mtb. I'd had it a week when I had my fork and rear wheel stolen by crackheads. In a stroke of pure genius, I locked the QR front to the frame and the rack but missed the 15mm rear wheel. They had two hours while I was inside at a night school class. They cut the cables and left the handlebars twenty feet away.

One time i left my bike outside a health-food store in Brixton. I was waiting in line with soymilk and other assorted vegan nice-ness, when a pair of totally f**ked up crackheads walk by. Then two seconds later they came back, one guy came into the shop and got in my way, whilst his friend nicked my bike.

I pushed the dude into a didplay of mung-beans, or something but it was too late.

Also, cos the guy was dishevelled and looked poor, I looked like Senor Facismo to all the dreadlocked hippies, beating up on a victim of society.

At one point I shouted, "That f**king crackhead f**k is f**king stealling my f**king bike, you f**k". If nothing else it drew me to real articualtion.

F**k.

I had my bike locked outside against the gate of my apt during the day. When I came back, there was a guy sawing the lock. I asked him if he lost his key and needed help cutting it. He said,"uhh.. yes." So i walked up and kicked him in the ribs and slammed his face into the mulch next to my bike. Since he pretty much went through the lock with his saw, I took the U portion and smacked him in the face with it. I still have his tooth. Cheers and god bless!

*just kidding... but my bike did get stolen during broad daylight and I played this in my head... i need help*

I know of a ****** of a guy at my school who stole a front wheel from a random bike becuase his was ****ed up... He actually has had the nerve to ask me for info on rides and alleycats, I told him if he ever showed up at an event I was at I'd make sure everyone there knew he was the type to steal ****, and that I never wanted to be associated with him or his bike.

did the sticker say "standing on my bike"?

oh, wait. the back of the sign. damn.

I have a buddy who was riding with a female acquaintance down North Avenue in Baltimore, when a crackhead (no, a real one, it's Baltimore,) walked into the street and tried to jack the girl's bike. My buddy got off and hit him in the dome with a U-lock, but whilst doing so, another thief walked up and stole HIS bike. I hear it was a loooooong walk down North Avenue. Ah, B-More.