Best. Quote. Ever.

You sir, are a poet.

Well played. Do this, OP.

"Could have been a poet or I could have been a fool."


I learned the "sucktastic ass clown" while riding home a while back.

Story start:

A flat black older car did the power squeeze on me and I screemed "*****" at the (female) driver. Who stopped. I'm all for equal opertunity, however, I won't hit a woman. So, I was at a bit of a loss. She stopped, got out and
like whoa.
Nearly 6 foot in heals, short skirt with some crazy striped stockings, and a loosely buttoned up shirt that revealed parts of her that made me blush. She was part Indian perhaps, olive skin, with hair black and shiney as crude oil. There was an Ohm tattoo on her wrist. Her eyes were blue/grey.
I almost forgot to stop, looking at her, and nearly ran into her. We were about a foot apart, my tire at her feet.
I looked at her and said "Wow, you're ****ing beautiful.".

And then remembered a few things.
#1. I'm married
#2. It's inpolite to cuss infront of a lady
#3. I smelled after doing about 8 miles
#4. I'm married.

I apologized for cussing. I left. She screamed at me as I left "You sucktastic ass clown." Which was amuzing, both in its ownright, and for the fact I feel that I claim copyright on "assclown" having first used it in this forum. The bike wobbled as I laughed, regained composure, and then moved post haste.

Story: over.

You left out the part where you woke up and realized the thermostat was set too high.

^^

Do you go to Long Beach State? I went there last year and I don't recognize your bikes, but I do remember seeing a couple slick track bikes while I was there.

Doubt me? Then go ***** a smurf **** with a ***** and a *****.

Anyway. Happened. Market street just past the 711 on park.

Me? I go to UCI. There are a fair, and growing, number of track bikes in long beach though.

No way. I didn't include this initally, but the reason why
I called the guy a ****** was because he was this sad
looking hipster type in his sister's jeans and aviators,
with one of those fake Target Timbuk2 bags on his back.

Balls on the stem, no clips needed.

The more popular bikes get in general, and fixies in particular, the more of this crap you'll see. Hell, I see enough idiots riding CCM mountain bikes brakeless down the sidewalk, though the sound from their deraileurs usually indicates that they've found a substitution.

I have to say though, that for whatever reason, this kind of stuff pisses me off all to hell. When I was out in Vancouver last summer it was all over - fixies are the new pink out here, and everywhere you look there's some clown who thinks track bars and a front brake only somehow make up for the lack of a back brake (and look uber-cool, yo). It's important that people like this do not recieve the social affirmation they seek, or they'll only multiply. I'm not against suicide hubs, but for god's sake, many cheap REAL track hubs are sketchy enough brakeless, what makes anyone think that thier particular collection of locktite, lockrings, screws, welds, epoxy and dumb luck are going to save their ass in a pinch? I've spent a lot of time on the roads and know full well...BRAKES WILL FAIL (have a backup) and cars will do something stupid (have a brake). Most importantly, it's important to realise that it will likely, eventually, all go wrong at once, because that's just the way that life works.

I just hope none of these idiots get fixies (or bikes in general) banned. My campus now devotes a significant chunk of its security force to policing people for minor cycling infractions (especially locking up in non-designated areas).

I dunno about the importance of the back brake. It's good in rain, but otherwise it's good for causing the arse end of your bike to slide out from under you. I run only the front on my geared bike, and was planning to put just a front brake on the fix I'm putting together this winter. Can anyone tell me why that'd be a bad idea?

Ps I'm not even going near any suicide hubs- I like my pants and would prefer to keep them un-shat in.

hell at least they're not on Vespas. There's some guy who rides his on campus and it irritates me so much. there's also a chick with orange hair who rides a MOTORCYCLE on campus... or, I haven't seen her in a while, so maybe someoen finally put an end to it.

dude, there's plenty of peeps who ride motorcycles on campus here.
tons of rednecks + a few harley dealerships = bunches of rednecks on harleys.

there used to be one guy who rode a little vespa around here... until someone cut the dinky little coil cable he used to lock it to lightposts with.

there is no way that i'm giving my schlitz to sorority girls.

no