But at least the villagers really win in the end.

almost all the samurai die though...

I pull out the most sexist, racist, offensive insults when people mess with me. I once had a cabbie clip me while U turning and then jump out of the car, come toe to toe with me and threaten to beat me. This was right in front of one our country's major newspaper offices at 5:30pm, and there were probably about 3-4 CCTV cameras pointed at us and reporters streaming out the front door. I was just waiting for him to throw a punch. If someone is willing to put my life in danger with their car and then threaten assault or murder on me (both serious crimes), then I feel perfectly justified saying racist things (not a crime) to them because thats the only way I can really offend them and get at them the way they get at me. Even better is if you use the wrong racial slurs to really piss them off. Calling them a jerk sometimes isn't enough and you have to get really nasty. I won't list any examples of what I have said, but I often mention deportation.

None of this is smart, but sometimes it is very gratifying.

Please please please don't come to philly, or if you do don't ever venture outside center city. You'll get shot after yelling racial slurs and then you won't be posting on bike forums anymore which would make me sad.

While I agree that that's probably the best way to insult someone of another race, what happens if it's not a minority? What happens if the guy is the same race as you? Using those kinds of insults may be effective but exploiting a persons race like that crosses a moral boundry for me, even if the individual is an ass hole.

That has definitely been my experience.

Yep mine too

I had to throw down with a guy once who missed my wife by mere inches. I confronted him and all he could come up with was "you bike people go too fast" when in fact she was riding next to a mini van which he almost hit as well. In the circumstances I'm certain she would have been killed if they had hit.
I confronted him and really just wanted an apology and for him to admit what he did but there was no way that was gonna happen so it got a little bit physical, lucky for him (or maybe lucky for me )
a little shove was all it took to make him see the error of his ways.
I usually try to keep my cool though since an idiot wielding a 4000 lb weapon definitely has the upper hand most of the time.

Yeah, when they are the same basic background as me I just revert to 'F**KING A**HOLE' etc.

I would not describe myself as a racist/sexist/homophobic/prejudiced person (who would?), but I could care less about moral boundaries when someone has just put my life at serious risk and then threatens more harm upon me. They just lost all privelages of me treating them in any kind of moral fashion. Short of violence, which I am firmly against, really offensive insults (whether they be racist, sexist, homophobic, religious etc.) are all I can really do to try to hurt the person that has just hurt me. If they beat my ass so be it, I'm willing to deal with the police if I have to; I at least try to be sure there are other people around in case things get really out of hand, and this is just on my commute when I am trying to get to work safely and unharassed, trying my best to stay out of trouble. 99% of the time its taxi drivers, delivery trucks and ******** drivers from the suburbs who drive aggressively and have no idea how to drive downtown.

I consider any kind of violence to be on a completely and utterly different level than any kind of words. Sticks and stones... Some people are too fragile.

guys driving a car is really hard!

they are big and hard to control

as much as it pains me to say it, sometimes it pays to be a 'defensive driver' on a bicycle. OP, I'm in no way stating that you were in the wrong, or that you weren't doing just that— but cars weigh a lot more than you do, and the people steering them are often paying much less attention to their surroundings. I ride with presence whenever possible, but if there's a cager with a hate streak or a happy meal to finish, I'll give them a wide berth to stay out of harm's way.

okay okay your all wrong...

here is what you do


watch your back at ALL times... always.. double up your lights.. add more reflective tape to your bags.. get a bright helmet

okay if someone does cut you off, almost hit you.. scream at you..

go to your local art store, get one of thoes tiny spraycans of paint.. mark the cars bumper.. if your riding around town at night and see a car with a 'mark' **** it up and kill the person driving it.. now it's just the same with vampires.. bad drivers have 'turned' and you have to make sure you do the deed... other wise they breed more bad drivers.. and the chain goes on and on... it may take a generation to 'rid' a city of bad drivers.. but in the end people will drive smart to avoid the 'dreaded mark' oh, no.. i'm so totally not making this up at all

thats how we roll in lanc lanc

If race and sexuality aren't options, hit the other two unmentionable subjects: politics and religion. Bikeforums is so smart they have a separate forum just for it.

personal appearance and age are good ones too.

yes and dont forget if the offender is especially small or old you can put them in yur bag

a good old fashioned kidnapping will teach those ****ers a lesson

Thank you. That was hilarious. And it led me to "The Runaway Bride" episode of Doctor Who that I hadn't seen yet.

Oh man I just got the funniest/most disturbing scene in my head: having some angry cager nearly kill you and then get in your face, so you just throw your messenger bag over his head, throw it on your back and ride home with him in there. Once at home you tie him to an armchair and force him to read threads from advocacy and safety non-stop for 48 hours while intermittently pouring buckets of cold water on him with the air conditioning on full.

That made me laugh. Although, you could take out all the other negative reinforcements. just forcing them to read A&S forums for 48 hours would be punishment enough.

The cold water is just so they don't fall asleep 37 seconds in

a kind tandem that allows the stoker to be strapped and locked down would be helpful in this campaign

MWAAAA HAAA HAAAA
Good one

Just take a swing at her face and miss by an inch. If she complains, just say, "Did I hit you?"

Brilliant! Of course, jailarity could ensue.

Yeah, let's solve this with sexism.

It sounds like you do care about moral boundaries (you won't resort to violence) but you're cool with using racial epithets under certain circumstances. I think using these words even towards someone who deserves it just serves to divide people and enforce the idea that we aren't equals. Because of that, in a way just using those words (even though they are just words) is a form of racism. I'm really not judging you here, I totally see where you're coming from. It's just something to think about.

Neat. The next time someone calls me a jackass, I'm accusing them of being a sexist too. This is fun!

Speaking of *****, I happen to have more than one female friend who really likes sex...a lot.

This corresponds to describing a detail-oriented person as anal.

It depends on how one feels about the other person at the time, as to whether one would describe the same personal characteristics disparagingly, neutrally, or admiringly.

So then, how would one describe a detail-oriented female person who likes sex...a lot?

=====

I regularly have kinda close calls with people in cars and truck passing me on my left.

They don't all fit into the same category.

This last year, a young man in a SUV has harrassed me about four times with high speed close calls, honking, yelling and throwing things at me.
This last time I got his license number and turned him into the police.
I told the police I could handle the insulting behavior and disrespect, but I worried about him inadvertently hitting me in the process of harrassing me.
Anyway, the police knocked on his front door and had a talk with him and his parents.

Speaking of the police, as an EMS helicopter pilot I frequently interact with the police.
They tell me a certain segment of the driving population tends to drift towards objects that catch their eye, and which they really mean to avoid.

In a different light, I think some drivers of large vehicles, such as the full-sized pickups and SUV's, resent the tiny bit of space taken up by a bicycle.
I think these folks got their super large vehicles as some sort of trophy, or as a symbol of power, and they resent bicyclists who either dare challenge their "rightful" command of road space, or who refuse to play the trophy/power game.

I also get "buzzed" by young men in highly-modified sports coupes.
I think they want to demonstrate their high degree of skill and daring by gambling with my life.

And then, I share the road with some real airheads who seem to see no reason to pay attention as long as they have the largest and heaviest vehicle.

All the above said, on one of the rare instances in which I drive a car (usually on a date with my wife), I came very close to a bicyclist without seeing him.
I didn't come close to hitting him.
I just got surprised by him.
He didn't do anything wrong.
I didn't see him.

When I see a car entering the road from the right, I make eye contact.
If I have any doubts about the eye contact, I give the driver and the whole world my best Marine Drill Instructor "HEP! HEP! HEP!".

Of course, this doesn't help with school buses and mega-trucks passing me on my left, inches away from my elbow.

I guess I could get one of those big trucks.

I could get a BIGGER truck.

My wife and I used to babysit for a lady (whose husband had a good job) so that she could go to work.

She needed to work in order to pay for her Suburban and the babysitter (me, us).

She needed the Suburban and the babysitter so she could go to work.

Yeah.

And I need a BIIIIIIIIG truck!