frame: custom, unobtainium tubing
headset: steven czar
stem: zooooooom
handlebars: chop n shop ***** bars
grips: shrinky dink
crankset: 120 carbon truvativ external bearing
bottom bracket: none!
pedals: custom carbon mks touring
toe straps: adidas x crayola fat laces
wheels: magnetic drive hoops, color matched to frame
seat: the butcher

so i need help and i'll number it for ease of use

1.) recommend a spermlike helmet
2.) what are some solid low profile u-lock holsters
3.) seatpost recommendations. i'm thinking something with a shock.
4.) do i have to buy a gyro kit for the magnetic drive or can i just suicide it?


i know a lot of this seems like overkill, but if someone can afford it, well why not?

i'd really like a pisto acceptme frame but those seem a little bit difficult to come across these days =/

critique away, but please make it constructive, i'm extremely eager to learn.

i've had a lot of money sucking issues going on lately (*******s after work), but i'll be able to afford all components necessary by ~~~caturday~~~ and i'm just getting prepared in advanced


if i were to eventauuauaually get a acceptme frame, wouldn't most of these parts be interchangable anyway?

my next bike will be built with nano technology. it's gonna be so sick.

I'm going to a neural net processor CPU...basically it's a learning computer

hover bike.

screw hover...go straight to space bike
i got teh skimatics all worked out

unobtanium is nice, I prefer depleted Uranium though, or Unununium, or Einsteinium

platonium
a mix between plutonium and platinum
its AMAZING

and a carcinogen

or rhodium... I still don't get why it's not in rappaz grillzz.. I mean the ****'s over 9000 dollars an ounce... DEEEAMMMM

I'm going to have a bike with a volume knob that goes to 11! \m/

it's one louder...

ill have a volum knob that goes to eleventy billion....

kanye west already has space bike technology on lock...as it turns out, all you need is a left side drive train, and your bike will go into space. who knew? he also has new 'fireskid' technology in his tires. you can't **** with kanye west.

Holy ****, this not witty, not funny, and completely un-amusing. Even the first bike build parody wasn't. So what got in your mind to make you want to add another stack of **** to the fail-pile? Is BFSSFG some sort of SA/#chan ban refugee camp? I'm pretty sure it is.

HAHA! Now you're at the top of the fail-pile. Oops now it's me.

Wheels? I'm disappointed that you're not building a hover-bike.