Can anybody give me info on trackstands? I wanna see some pics.

What is the coolest color messenger bag? And does it have a stash pocket?

Are 28's really more comfy than 23's?

Is it okay to ride with my seatpost showing the lil' "do not expose this line" thing?

Is permanganese-oxided-steel better than chromoly steel?

If my bike is gray, what color should my bar tape be?

What does it mean to have sloping top tubes?

Do you patch your tubes or just toss them?

When do you know you have a flat tire?

What do some people ride clipless pedals?

How do I put spokecards in my radially laced front wheel?

Why does my brooks saddle squeak?

Are presta valves better than schrader?

What's the best technique to skid?

How do you make bullhorns?

Do I really need a front brake?

Can I use a cross lever on my 26.5mm stem?

Why does my chrome pista not get me laid?

google.com

What kind of pants are best for fixies?

some of those questions actually interest me... *blush*

Also, if I have my bike built up totally black, but have a silver chain on it, will people still take me seriously?

Of course not - everyone knows that you have to have a black chain!

i haven't seen a good presta/schraeder debate in a while...and i haven't seen the "how do i make bullhorns?" threads in at least as long as the valve debates...

presta > schraeder, by the way.

Why would you make bullhorns when you could just buy some Nitto ones?

I would get pissed off by your elitism, but since I've been doing punk rock aerobics I feel like a new happier person!

Can anybody give me info on trackstands? I wanna see some pics. no. no.

What is the coolest color messenger bag? And does it have a stash pocket? lime green, no.

Are 28's really more comfy than 23's? yes, but only about 5mm more comfy.

Is it okay to ride with my seatpost showing the lil' "do not expose this line" thing? no, it voids the warranty on your butt, and can lead to constant checking if your frame is cracked or not.

Is permanganese-oxided-steel better than chromoly steel? angle iron beats both of them.

If my bike is gray, what color should my bar tape be? bright ****ing orange!

What does it mean to have sloping top tubes? it means you got GAAAAAME!!!!

Do you patch your tubes or just toss them? i patch 'em, then i toss 'em.

When do you know you have a flat tire? when you take a corner at speed and your tire rolls off, causing your rim to make direct contact with the street and then you slide out. it makes cool sparks sometimes!

What do some people ride clipless pedals? ...

How do I put spokecards in my radially laced front wheel? duct tape.

Why does my brooks saddle squeak? that's...um....not your saddle.

Are presta valves better than schrader? puuullleeeeze! everyone knows the way to go is to get solid styrofoam tires....jesus...

What's the best technique to skid? balls to stem, chin to pavement.

How do you make bullhorns? take a piece of paper and roll it into a cone-shape. VOILA! INSTANT BULLHORN!

Do I really need a front brake? do you really need shoes?

Can I use a cross lever on my 26.5mm stem? no. doing so will disrupt the space-time continuum and cause the universe to implode.

Why does my chrome pista not get me laid? because you're too busy looking at your own reflection to notice members of the opposite sex.

google.com is only good for finding hardcore, animal amputee porn.

it's not the pista brah...

"presta > schraeder, by the way"

i wish you told me that BEFORE i redrilled my rims to fit schraeder.

pistaprestachainboltssfixedstashpocketpathteethbullhornpaintjobsh*tawesome?

Is Pecan Crusted Fish better than Potato Crusted Fish? And what exactly is Emeril's relationship with crusted fish? Inquiring minds want to know...

crustedFish was a popular menu item that I used to cook on my station.

the crust changed....from herbs, to walnut..never pecan, never potato.

I got the name from a combination of things...I got so pissed off (crusty) about cooking over a hundred and twenty orders (of the crustedfish) during a Saturday night rush....the nickname stuck...

It's all so clear now. My curiosity has been satiated...

i saw a messenger doing a trackstand by liverpool street station today.

0wNaGe!

fsnl
sparky

I'm putting my bike back together today after having stripped and repainted it. What's the best method for putting things back on? Should I start with the BB and work my way up or go from the top and work my way down? Whilst doing this rebuild, should I drink a PBR, or should I go with something else? Sierra Nevada Pale Ale maybe? Or something like a Labatts Blue or perhaps a Molson Canadian. Should I drink straight from the bottle or go with a frosted mug? Should I wear my Park Tool apron or just go with my camo shorts and dri-fit tee? If I take breaks, should they be five minutes long or 10 minutes? On this break, should I start smoking again, or should I refrain as I have been since my work Christmas party of last year? Please help me out. I can't start until I know what you all think.

Back on? Your bike should rebel at the thought of new parts. Especially deraillers.

Top down - you don't want to know how high that seat post really is untill afterwards. You should chrome the inside of your BB while you have it stripped, too. This makes the BB thread easier when you're done.

Finally a question I know the answer to - three PBRs per fifth of Jameson is proper ratio... Drink PBR from the can (bottles are heavy) and drink Jameson from rocks glass (no rocks, just ice cold Jameson)

40 min long, and interuptted by your television. It is against the law to wear clothing with a Park Tool apron - you must remove it all at once. Just make sure nothing important gets caught in the chain.

You must smoke. Just be careful of what you smoke. Trust me, tobacco is not the right option.

Wishes he could stop smoking tobacco... Rolls another smoke...

Grr

i recommend taking a shot of vodka [straight from the freezer] for each component succesfully installed, and a double for each one unsuccesfully installed.

depending on your tolerance, your bike will become singlespeed/fixed by default through not having enough hand/eye co-ordination for derailleurs. [i can't even be bothered to fit them when i'm sober.]

fsnl
sparky
eo: crystal method - keep hope alive

p3ntuprage and HereNT, when I said put things back on, I meant everything but derailleurs and shifters and such. Those were ditched any moons ago! Seems like you guys are getting ahead of me with the drinking!

Should my nail polish match the main orange color of my bike, or the contrast navy blue? Then again, since my nails will be near the navy blue bar tape, maybe I should go with yellow....?

why not just wear construction gloves?

Because I'd still have to decide on a color :c)

If I bonk will sticking my [insert favored energy gel name here] up my ass help me recover faster?

yes.

try it with a tab of E too.

["#eezer good, eezer good, he's ebaneezer good..." in a classic ravey white gloves and glowsticks stylee]

fsnl
sparky