Hey, I'm just wondering, aside from a U-lock what are some effective ways to f*ck up cars when you're pissed off at them? Almost got hit this morning and then saw that huge ******** monstrosity on here and now I just want to smash everything.
~Oni

tip of a spark plug thrown at the windows really hard.

um... i think this is a bad thread to get started.

If they are stopped at a light, I think using a small awl or something to subtly perforate, say, their right rear tire would be cool. You could "key" the paint as you ride by using just about anything. The possibilities are really endless here, you just have to be creative. My problem is that whenever I encounter someone that I feel really deserves it (and I'm mostly pretty passive so this takes a lot), I'm not carrying anything useful on me. It's kind of interesting - on my ride to school I ride through some not-so-good areas for a few miles and keep my u-lock clipped to the outside of my bag, and have had nothing but good experiences with drivers. On my 5-block ride to work down a somewhat busy street in a nice neighborhood not carrying anything but a paperback, I swear people are trying to f-ing kill me.

Undoubtedly! I can't wait to see it get going.

ha ha... ok.

allright...my two self admitted worthless cents

only strike back at cars or pedestrians if necessary

think about it this way...it might feel great to u lock some arseholes window b/c he cut you off, but what about the next bike rider that driver encounters...they might not get off so lucky
so try not to get caught up in the moment, decide if its worth it...i've found simply pulling out my lock and letting the driver know I can strike back seems to be pretty effective

If you didn't blow up already (sometimes very hard.) and have the chance, gently tap their window an make a lowering gesture towards it. If the window opens explain in a calm voice how exactly the driver f-ed up and that his or her behavior almost or definitely ruined your day, bike, mood. Surprisingly, most of them understand their mistake and apologize immediately. Wish them a nice they and ride away. It is important that car drivers are not scared of cyclists otherwise they will never want to leave their car and ride a bike. It is also equally important to let them know that they can't get away with doing stupid/careless things otherwise they will keep doing them.

Exposed bars to the paint leaves NICE scratches

Cutting torch.

A shaking fist

No!

Yes!

an empty wine bottle in the middle of the night thrown VERY hard at the windshield of a parked plymouth prowler.

These posts should be deleted. The first rule of Project Mayhem is you do not ask questions.

brake fluid.

[just don't get it on your clothes, yourself, your bike, anything you'd like to use at a later date.]

fsnl
sparky

How about something a bit less hostile such as dropping a postcard-sized pamphlet stating the rules of the road in the offending car's open window or having stickers made that also state the same thing that you can slap on the car's side or rear windows? Maybe a sticker saying "I don't give a shyte about cyclists!" Or I almost killed a biker rider today!"

Or you can always u-lock them. I had a friend who rode a motorcycle and always carried a small pipe with him. He told me it was for bashin in someone's taillights if they cut him off or flicked a cig out the window that would hit him, etc.

My name is progre-ss and I don't endorse this post. Well, not really.

Earlier this Summer a halfwit, snaggletoothed, hillbilly, fool brain, moron drove his pickup truck straight for me on a small side street and nearly clipped me with the side mirror.

If he would have stopped I don't know what I might have done; but I didn't want to hurt the truck. It was him I wanted to hurt. It ruined my ride as I could only think of that fool brain and become more angered - most people suck! I guess I am still somewhat angry?

The incidents I have had in traffic have all been pretty rough, but I remind myself that I will be commuting right along side the same morons tomorrow, the next day, etc. It's one thing to eek out some hit and run vengeance, but it's an entirely different matter when you are riding with a bunch of road ragers who have placed a bounty on your head. Even something as simple as flicking someone off can be remembered and acted upon at a later time. A shame that folks choose to use their cars as weapons.

You are correct as you are in loosing position if a battle occurs between bike and car.

It amazes me at their mindless, thoughtless, actions when driving with no more regard for a cycilist's life than that of an insect. I do not think that way and I can't comprehend their choice of actions when driving.

Crack open the hood. Crap in air filter.

I've thought about carrying golf balls, just whizzing them at cars who piss me off. BUT, there's a good chance it'd bounce back and hit me, a pedestrian, etc.

See, this is why we all need to carry the ceramic tips of spark plugs around - you throw them at the window, the tip shatters. The way it shatters causes the entire window to fracture. Since it is safety glass on modern cars, it doesn't fall in and hurt anyone. It just turns into a spiderweb, and freaks out the motorist. And there is no recoil or debris to avoid. And they are small enough that you could carry many of them in your pocket without noticing...

This is exactly what I'm thinking about. I've done similar in the past on Harbor drive. Limited success, but I helped and wasn't violent. There are ways to do things to get a point across with out damaging property. Of course, some times, violence does have its place. Mostly in a defense measure for me.

I never had road rage when I drove a car. Rather, I hated driving because I was responsible for such a large, fast, potentially dangerous machine. But on a bike I'm so vulnerable, and the road rage gets a little out of control. I haven't done anything violent (and I try not to let ideas like these get stuck in my head) but I scare myself with some of the things I yell at offending drivers. I usually manage to scare the drivers as well.

A couple months ago I had a sweet moment of clarity.

I was doing a trackstand at a red light on market street at like 8th or something, with a mostly full cup of coffee in my free hand (woot woot!). Light turns green, I'm just starting to lurch forward, then this BMW full of yuppies decides they can still make it through.

I look at them, they look at me, I look at the coffee in my hand. As they barrel through the intersection, I triumphantly launch the coffee right into their windshield, dead center, at 45mph - it was truly beautiful.