So I was riding on to base today wearing my hairnet helmet and came up to the back gate. I flashed my ID, like always and just only slowly downed. The guard asked me to unclip, well actually "please step down from the bike sir", And followed with the question of "is that a DOD (dept of defense) approved helmet." Feeling a little irritated by just coming off of a 24 hr watch, I replied "Jeez lance corporal, I would think the DOD would have higher priorities then approving a bicycle helmet. You know, like waging a war or catching terrorists". Apparently not happy with my snide but truthful reply (DOD doesn't approve helmets), he has me go to the side of the road and wait for him. 10 minutes later, I'm still waiting for him to get off the radio and come over. He finally does and begins questioning be about my bike and my helmet.
him:"Is your helmet SNELL approved?"
me: "No, its not a motorcycle helmet, so SNELL isn't really involved"
him: "Where are your brakes"
me: : I don't have any, its a fixed gear bike"
him: "Thats against base policy"
me: " No, base policy is a combination of marine corps policy and Hawaii State law. I just have to be able to skid my back tire"
About this time, my commanding officer's wife pulls up to the back gate, looks over and notices me. I'm somewhat friendly with the family because the son is in the boy scout troop I help out. She rolls down the window:
"Hi Dan, everything okay?"
"Yes m'am, he just doesn't seem to like my bike"
He turns around to say something to her, sees the blue officer sticker and a Lt. Col. sticker, and of course, salutes the vehicle. He turns around and tells me to "carry on". I tell My CO's wife I'll see her tomorrow night at the meeting and pedal off. The woman saved me from probably getting written up six ways from sunday, but the moral of the story is....Don't bring a fixed gear to a marine corps base unless you outrank the gate guard. Or have friends that are married to people who out rank the gate guard.

i remember when i was a kid and my dad got out of the military he came home and burned his uniform in the back yard.

Maybe the gate gaurd was a "nightclub bouncer" before he signed up, what an A$$.

CHEERS.

Mark

reminds me of the time i was waiting at a light and a cop rolled his window down next to me. "what do you think you're doing?" then me, somewhat drunkenly, "trackstanding, what're you doing?" unwise.

I worked on an Army base for a while. I always liked when the cute blond all camoed up with her rifle over her shoulder had to search my car.

Wow, i guess i can quit talking trash about the boy scouts now. Way to go Danno!!!

"Son, I know your friend is drunk. Tell him if I see him again I'll arrest him. I know you're drunk too, and I'll arrest you as well if you don't tell your friend what I said."
"How would you know if I told him? Can you tell us where you're going to be at least?"
"Why are you making this difficult?"

as an ex night club bouncer, i take offence to that... i am definitely an *******, but i'm a blatant *******... i'll just try to start a fight, rather than try to get you to start the fight...

here i am, sitting on the edge of my bed for the last 45 minutes tryiong not to vomit,sand this makes me laugh so hard i almost puked in my other shoes...

I'm an E8, RHIP. It's a good thing.

Rancid
it's nice when the fates are on your side, ain't it? Someday, offline, I can tell about the altruism of our CO's wife...<shudder>

Sounds to me like the moral of the story is don't join the Marines


Hey in this case you win so Sometimes you ought not just shut your mouth. Another tip, dont ever say your bike "has no brakes". Just say, "you pedal backwards to brake" and it conjures up images of their childhood bike with coaster brakes.