A Beginners Guide to Cycle Touring: How to prepare
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A Beginners Guide to Cycle Touring: How to prepare
I apologize if this is a repost - I didn't see it anywhere. hilarious 
https://cyclingtrip.com/sections/guide/index.htm

https://cyclingtrip.com/sections/guide/index.htm
#2
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Eh, it sounds like whoever wrote this had a bad experience touring... I get it is intended to be funny but it's a little ridiculous even for a joke.
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Several of the points seemed familiar to me. 
I've seen a similar description about sailing, but it was considerably shorter:
1. Take all the cash you can get (beg, borrow, steal, whatever), in paper money.
2. Stand in cold shower with your clothes on. One by one, rip the notes into pulp.

I've seen a similar description about sailing, but it was considerably shorter:
1. Take all the cash you can get (beg, borrow, steal, whatever), in paper money.
2. Stand in cold shower with your clothes on. One by one, rip the notes into pulp.
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Who is this General Failure anyway, and why is he reading my drive?
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To err is human. To moo is bovine.
Who is this General Failure anyway, and why is he reading my drive?
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Last edited by Juha; 02-02-11 at 04:09 AM.
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I had a good chuckle at it - even though the only thing I've done that loosely qualifies as a "tour" was a 2-day jaunt with a night in a B&B with luxuries like a hot shower, by the end of the first day I could appreciate most of it.
#8
Wheezy Rider
Made me laff. Especially Step 6.
Think of a song from the 1980's that you really hated. Buy the CD and play 20 seconds of that song over and over and over for about 6 hours.
I'm a "no iPod while I'm riding" kinda guy, but there have been times on tour when I've had to put it on, just to clear my head of an earworm.
Think of a song from the 1980's that you really hated. Buy the CD and play 20 seconds of that song over and over and over for about 6 hours.
I'm a "no iPod while I'm riding" kinda guy, but there have been times on tour when I've had to put it on, just to clear my head of an earworm.
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No laughs here. The intro gives a glimpse into his cycling mindset.
One thing I found interesting is that he left the (now closed) Bunk House Inn in Whitefish on June 12, 1999 and headed towards the Roosville border crossing just north of Eureka. Our cross country group came down from the Eureka area (Rexford) and stayed at the Bunnk House on June 13th. Missed him by a day.
One thing I found interesting is that he left the (now closed) Bunk House Inn in Whitefish on June 12, 1999 and headed towards the Roosville border crossing just north of Eureka. Our cross country group came down from the Eureka area (Rexford) and stayed at the Bunnk House on June 13th. Missed him by a day.
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Aw, hell. You have to be ready to laugh at yourself. I could write something similar about canoe tripping, touring in an antique roadster, or restoring an off-the-grid cabin. Doesn't mean I don't love it and wouldn't jump at the chance to do it again. I laughed, heartily.
BTW, "Ah'm hungra like the wooooooolf..."
BTW, "Ah'm hungra like the wooooooolf..."
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I liked it.
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two thumbs up for this. feels like a our first week going over the sierras into nevada, snow, rain wind...wooo
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Ah, c'mon, it was funny.
The only thing I want to know is why the "Wicked Witch of the West" music flits through my head when I'm pedaling hard (duh da-duh da duuuuh duh, duh da duh da duh....aaaaargh)
The only thing I want to know is why the "Wicked Witch of the West" music flits through my head when I'm pedaling hard (duh da-duh da duuuuh duh, duh da duh da duh....aaaaargh)
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The sitting on a softball line made my LOL. Oh, and "clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with you..."
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While there is some discomfort involved with traveling on a bike, it just makes one appreciate the small things and simple comforts more. Not everybody gets it. A friend of mine who doesn't do bike touring calls stealth camping "hiding in the woods".
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I actually read this guy's tour journal many years ago and it stays in my mind as one of the finest ones I've seen. He starts out one way and ends transformed. That's a great story, every time. Its LONG so you're not going to knock it out in a single sitting or even a couple days.
Which brings me to journals-- I actually like when the writer complains about stuff. A tour isn't all roses and beautiful vistas. There IS some real suffering happening and I want to hear about that suffering and how it transforms us. Anyone know of some other good tour journals? I'd like to read them.
Which brings me to journals-- I actually like when the writer complains about stuff. A tour isn't all roses and beautiful vistas. There IS some real suffering happening and I want to hear about that suffering and how it transforms us. Anyone know of some other good tour journals? I'd like to read them.
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To clarify, I thought it was a good concept. I am the first one to laugh at myself. But I just don't find most of his analogies funny/amusing.
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Well, that was a few minutes of my life I'll never get back. So awful I gave up after Step 8.
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I can't believe I'm actually doing this.
What makes the article funny is that an activity like bicycle touring, whose primary aim is enjoyment, necessarily entails so much suffering. We call this "irony". Irony is a common feature of humour. There is nothing "bitter" or "negative" about this piece at all; rather, it is a satirical exaggeration of an irony inherent to bicycle touring. If one were actually bitter or negatively inclined toward touring, it would be impossible to even write this piece; you see, enjoyment is as necessary a support for the central irony of this piece as suffering is. The joke, literally, is the recommendation of suffering for the purpose of enjoyment.
Now I have to take a shower. Explaining humour is a dirty business.
What makes the article funny is that an activity like bicycle touring, whose primary aim is enjoyment, necessarily entails so much suffering. We call this "irony". Irony is a common feature of humour. There is nothing "bitter" or "negative" about this piece at all; rather, it is a satirical exaggeration of an irony inherent to bicycle touring. If one were actually bitter or negatively inclined toward touring, it would be impossible to even write this piece; you see, enjoyment is as necessary a support for the central irony of this piece as suffering is. The joke, literally, is the recommendation of suffering for the purpose of enjoyment.
Now I have to take a shower. Explaining humour is a dirty business.
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I can't believe I'm actually doing this.
What makes the article funny is that an activity like bicycle touring, whose primary aim is enjoyment, necessarily entails so much suffering. We call this "irony". Irony is a common feature of humour. There is nothing "bitter" or "negative" about this piece at all; rather, it is a satirical exaggeration of an irony inherent to bicycle touring. If one were actually bitter or negatively inclined toward touring, it would be impossible to even write this piece; you see, enjoyment is as necessary a support for the central irony of this piece as suffering is. The joke, literally, is the recommendation of suffering for the purpose of enjoyment.
Now I have to take a shower. Explaining humour is a dirty business.
What makes the article funny is that an activity like bicycle touring, whose primary aim is enjoyment, necessarily entails so much suffering. We call this "irony". Irony is a common feature of humour. There is nothing "bitter" or "negative" about this piece at all; rather, it is a satirical exaggeration of an irony inherent to bicycle touring. If one were actually bitter or negatively inclined toward touring, it would be impossible to even write this piece; you see, enjoyment is as necessary a support for the central irony of this piece as suffering is. The joke, literally, is the recommendation of suffering for the purpose of enjoyment.
Now I have to take a shower. Explaining humour is a dirty business.
wut?
#24
Walmart bike rider
There are tons of guides out there for touring, but few of them actually talk about the biggest part of touring.
The mental aspect of it. Weekend trips help with your gear and such, but do little for your mental aspect.
The best way to handle the mental aspect, do a weekend trip in the worst possible weather (cold/rain/wind). See if you want to continue after the 3rd day. Touring isn't always fun folks.
The mental aspect of it. Weekend trips help with your gear and such, but do little for your mental aspect.
The best way to handle the mental aspect, do a weekend trip in the worst possible weather (cold/rain/wind). See if you want to continue after the 3rd day. Touring isn't always fun folks.
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This is satire, folks. The writer is describing their seemingly irrational love for touring (and proof that reading isn't as simple as identifying words.)