yummygooey

Dear Carleton,

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Best regards,
yummygooey

carleton

Pretty light these days.

jdgesus 

Dear Carleton, how many bieks do u have and which is your flavorite (you can only pick one)

carleton

I've owned 40-50+ over the years. Down to 2 at the moment.
- Specialized Tarmac
- Tiemeyer (fav)

carleton

I've owned 40-50+ over the years. Down to 2 at the moment.
- Specialized Tarmac
- Tiemeyer (fav)

Lilcphoto

Dear Carleton, If you could give any bit of advice to a weakling so that one day they may be as strong as you, what would that advice be?

dontpassthefenc

Dear Carleton;

How many glasses of milk do you drink each day?

Curiously yours,
a newb.

carleton

Drink Milk. Lift weights.

"Milk is quite literally better than steroids for a novice lifter to grow on, and no supplement produces the same effect. " - Mark Rippetoe

carleton

Ironically, I'm mildly allergic to milk.

dontpassthefenc

Gasp, me too! I have something in common with carleton!

and since I have a segue to go on here; dear carleton - where can I get one of those wacky aerospoke knockoffs like yours? :3

FastJake

What is the meaning of life?

Did you like your Pista Concept? I'd love one, maybe when I get out of school and have more money...

stovb

DEAR CARLETON,
have you ever busted or warped anything from the amount of torque you put on a bike from pedaling?

and when are we going to see a gif of you doing the carleton dance??

also do you have a theme song?

Leukybear 

Dear carleton,

How long was the turn around time for your custom tiemeyer? Yours is custom right?

carleton

Haha

- 42
- Yes

I've broken a Thomson X2 stem. X4 from here on out.
I've slightly bent my Dura Ace pedals, but it's barely noticeable.
I've flexed Planet X carbon frame so hard the rear wheel would rub the chain stay.

Yeah, it's custom. I ordered in October 2009 and received it in February 2010. But, I've seen him turn them around in about a month. So, it depends on how busy he is.

Squirrelli

Dear Carleton,

Is your brilliance becoming more of a burden than your boulder?

Best Regards,
Sqrl

docboyd

Dear Carleton,

Where did you learn most of the stuff you know? Was there a Carleton before you and you are maintaining the tradition?

kyselad

Dear Carleton,

Why did you have to go hitting the weights in the first place? Between that and the new Vivian, the whole show really jumped the shark.

Dannihilator

Dear Carleton,

What came first the chicken or the egg?

Leukybear 

Dear Carleton,

The Kilo TT I bought from you broke; can you tell me how to fix it myself? Also, can you tell me when my other kilo TT that I ordered for my girl friend will come? If it's shipped where is it? Did you charge me tax when I bought the 2nd one? I don't live in texas! So are you going to refund it through my credit card company or through my bank?

cc700

Dear Carleton,

Sometimes I find that instead of biking so I can live my life, I'm living my life so I can bike. How do you, a family man with a balanced amount of time spent on unselfish endeavors, find time to fit your Tiemeyer, Track Race like it will Rip Your Own Face Off, and be genuinely awesome on the interweb while living day to day? Do you sleep? I too hope to be strong and cool like you.

Sincerely,
Disorderly Obssessive Compulsive Person Enjoys Noodling In Some Bike Mechanics

m4rx12

Dear Carleton,

There will come a time when bikeforums.net will no longer be an adequate vessel for your notoriety. Having achieved god tier knowledge of all things bicycle related your cult of personality will rival that of Sheldon Brown, forcing you into the spotlight of the online cycling community. My question is do you ever receive amorous communications from bike babes? Any fan mail?

Sorry for the wordy question really I would just like to know how it feels to be considered a bike guru by tens if not thousands of forum members

carleton

Naw. I can handle it. I'm not in Mensa for nothing (really).

- I read and retain a lot (see above)
- There are LOTS of great and very helpful BF members before me. I didn't get pissed and leave. I hung out and waited for the forum to mature a little.

Yeah, Jazz didn't really help the show either. I mean, we had to put glasses on the guy because he kept staring at the camera. But, he and Will were broke so we dealt with it. Who knew that Will, the untrained hack of an actor (to use the term *very* loosely), would become a become a better actor than every single one of us. And I mean better in every way. Christ, the guy went from telling one-liner poop jokes to being absolutely brilliant in Six Degrees of Separation.

I hit the weights to blow off steam. That's where I met Bree


Chicken.

["accidentally" delete this email and act like I never got it]
...I wonder what's on Hulu...

Sleep only 2-4 hours per day...all via 15-60' naps. That's all you really need.


Actually, yeah I've received amorous communications from bike babes and fan mail. I smile and accept the compliments graciously.

I'm not a guru. Just a guy who reads a lot and rides bikes.

carleton

Just finished a nap.

Headed to the gym. Thank goodness for 24 hour gyms. Best invention ever.

Squirrelli

Dear Carleton,

Are you like Pcad of BFSSFG?

Best Wishes,
Sqrl

carleton

That's a good question. I guess that's for the Fan to decide.