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Death Machine!

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Old 10-20-17 | 03:26 PM
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Death Machine!

Everyone knows about the "death fork" and the "death stem."

What are the parts that would create the ultimate DEATH MACHINE?

I would just LOVE to get a carbon fiber frame and outfit it with all the technology that assplodes and kills people then watch the universe just fold in and turn into a black hole around the bike.


Theres the Viscount "death fork."

The AVA "death stem."

The American Classic "impaler" seat post.

The Maillard Helicomatic hub.

The Suntour Mountech.
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"But hey, always love to hear from opinionated amateurs." -says some guy to Mr. Marshall.
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Old 10-20-17 | 03:54 PM
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Why does Halloween season bring out the weird in some folks?

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Old 10-20-17 | 03:56 PM
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Get one of those eBay spiderweb saddles. I believe someone,"Tom", bought one and it fell apart on him.
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Old 10-20-17 | 03:56 PM
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this thread has been done before at least 3 times. do a search.
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Old 10-20-17 | 03:57 PM
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Bikes: Indeed!

Phil Wood disc brake.
Plastic Simplex front derailleur or a Campy record without that goofy little lip on the front - sure to cut your leg off.
"Dae Yung" tires - actually decent enough el cheapo tires from the seventies but, oh that name!
Drillium Campy cranks from the Italvega Superlight.
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Old 10-20-17 | 04:00 PM
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Don't forget tires on loan from rhm.

BTW, are you in this for the thrill of riding a catastrophe on wheels, the possible personal injury, or the simple wryness of it?



Either way, I'm in.

Forget the danger, think of the fun-Fabulous Thunderbirds
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Old 10-20-17 | 04:02 PM
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Originally Posted by -holiday76
this thread has been done before at least 3 times. do a search.
Are you trying to say that it's been done to death?
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Old 10-20-17 | 04:10 PM
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How bout a disc brake to slice and dice.
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Old 10-20-17 | 04:15 PM
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I found the saddle.
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Old 10-20-17 | 04:16 PM
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Originally Posted by RobbieTunes
Don't forget tires on loan from rhm.

BTW, are you in this for the thrill of riding a catastrophe on wheels, the possible personal injury, or the simple wryness of it?



Either way, I'm in.
I don't tempt fate.

I taunt it.
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Commence to jigglin’ huh?!?!

"But hey, always love to hear from opinionated amateurs." -says some guy to Mr. Marshall.
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Old 10-20-17 | 04:19 PM
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Hmm, this bike should have Michelin Elan tires mounted on Rigida rims, and pumped to the full pressure listed on the sidewall...

Let's build these wheels on Weyless or Hi-E hubs, with the original skewers, laced radially except for crow's foot rear drive side.

It should have Cinelli M71 death pedals, for sure.

Last edited by Salamandrine; 10-20-17 at 04:23 PM.
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Old 10-20-17 | 04:20 PM
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Need to connect shift cables to the brake levers, and brake cables to the downtube shifters.
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Old 10-20-17 | 04:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Salamandrine
..
Let's build these wheels on Weyless or Hi-E hubs, with the original skewers, laced radially except for crow's foot rear drive side.
...
can pick your poison with wheels... either ones that will taco in a stiff breeze, or chromed steel with pads that can bring you to a stop in 2.5km.
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Old 10-20-17 | 04:25 PM
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Originally Posted by thinktubes
Are you trying to say that it's been done to death?
exactly
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Old 10-20-17 | 04:26 PM
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skeletonbicyle2.jpg

90bebce184a86aa63e101f72fa83e046.jpg.png
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Old 10-20-17 | 05:03 PM
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My helicomatic hub is gonna kill me?!
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Old 10-20-17 | 05:26 PM
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Teledyne frame?
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Old 10-20-17 | 05:47 PM
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sure thing

AVA stem + Lambert/Viscount

[IMG]DSC_1047 by carrera247, on Flickr[/IMG]
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Old 10-20-17 | 06:31 PM
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Remember the aluminum spoke nipples.

Didn't someone make aluminum brake cables for about a millisecond?
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Old 10-20-17 | 08:48 PM
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Originally Posted by noglider
Remember the aluminum spoke nipples.

Didn't someone make aluminum brake cables for about a millisecond?
If you might be thinking CLB, no. They made aluminum cable casings with steel cables in them......
And if some company did indeed make aluminum cables, they were plain loco.......
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Old 10-21-17 | 03:20 AM
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Carbon fiber fork and wheel rims scare me to death, however, to be honest, I have never used either except for a very short while - a Bianchi I bought once had had a carbon fiber fork installed, replacing the original aluminum one. I rode the bike two times with the plastic fork and then swapped it out, going back to the original fork that the bike was issued with.

Why do I fear plastic bikes? I have heard bad things regarding them, bad enough for me to do a search on Carbon Fiber Bicycle Crashes. If that does not turn you off of carbon fiber bikes and components..?

Just guessing about this next comment, but I cannot help but believe that, at one point in time, the Simplex(Dupont Delrin plastic) derailleurs were thought to be the cat's butt. Of course, they were not all that great. In fact, their presence, at times, cracks me up:-(
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Old 10-21-17 | 04:14 AM
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Cable-Less front derailleur?
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Old 10-21-17 | 06:29 AM
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Originally Posted by randyjawa

Why do I fear plastic bikes? I have heard bad things regarding them, bad enough for me to do a search on Carbon Fiber Bicycle Crashes. If that does not turn you off of carbon fiber bikes and components..?
At the local bike co op I volunteer at, a kid came in with carbon fiber bars snapped in half. I don't know if he crashed or they just broke. Either way, it left me feeling uneasy. Steel is real
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Old 10-21-17 | 06:59 AM
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Are you building the cycling worlds most scariest Halloween display? I am not sure the little kids in the neighborhood will get it?
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Old 10-21-17 | 08:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Steve Whitlatch
Are you building the cycling worlds most scariest Halloween display? I am not sure the little kids in the neighborhood will get it?
Would someone PLEASE think about the children!?!?!
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Commence to jigglin’ huh?!?!

"But hey, always love to hear from opinionated amateurs." -says some guy to Mr. Marshall.
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