I got barked at yesterday, by a fat chick.
#1
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I got barked at yesterday, by a fat chick.
So I'm happily riding down Romeo Plank/Cass just north of Heydenreich yesterday on my way home. Enjoying the sound of birds, the 75F sunshine, the light headwind, and all that good stuff. A car passes me and just as it gets ahead of me I hear a bark, it sounded odd, I thought to myself what a strange ass dog to bark like that. The light at Heydenreich stopped the flow of traffic and I caught up with the car and slowed down to glance in because I really wanted to know what kind of dog made that funny ass little bark. When I got up to the side of the car I noticed the windows were rolled up and the three occupants were stairing straight forward. The passenger was glancing at me out of the corner of her eye, you know the look I'm talking about, but there was no dog. I laughed to myself, what an idiot, barking at me like that and picked up my pace to about 12-13mph. The car passed me again, this time the windows were down and I heard the little yelping bark again. I never got mad, I just wondered at how stupid can these three girls be, did they think this was actually funny? Well, as luck would have it they are stuck in a traiffic line at Harrington and I catch up with them again. As I'm pulling up to the windows I can see the fat passenger chick rolling the window up. I stop and ask, "you ladies doing alright? need me to call the humane society or SPCA?" The chick never looked me in the eye, she said in a mumbled voice, "humane society" as though she were asking "what would you need to call them for?". Then I said "well I thought you had an unruley dog in here, but now I see it's just two *****es and a ****". Then I barked at her and turned around to ride off because I had to go back a few yeards to get to my side street turn off. The guy on the motorcycle behind them started laughing so hard he almost fell off his Honda. He had been behind them both times that they barked at me. He high fived me and said "good one".
I had a smile the resot of my way home.
Ahhhhh the joys of commuting on a bike.
I had a smile the resot of my way home.
Ahhhhh the joys of commuting on a bike.
#6
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Joined: Apr 2005
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From: Richmond, VA
Bikes: Motobecane, Douglas, Trek
Originally Posted by kf5nd
yeah, and when they scowl at you their fat faces look like demon babies
#7
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Originally Posted by Dr. Moto
Thanks for making me laugh out loud at work and draw attention to the fact that I'm goofing off. 

#9
Originally Posted by ivan_yulaev
Actually, I hear that that's what you to do bikers, at least on harleys...
Woof, woof.
#11
Geosynchronous Falconeer
Joined: Sep 2004
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From: Sacramento, CA
Bikes: 2006 Raleigh Rush Hour, Campy Habanero Team Ti, Soma Double Cross
Yesterday, I saw a cyclist stop at a red light well in front of the marked stop line on the pavement. An older gentleman was crossing the street at the crosswalk. From what I saw, the cyclist didn't appear to come close to him or crowd him, but passed by nonetheless. This guy flew into a terrible rage and started yelling at the top of his lungs. "YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO STOP BACK HERE!!!! BLAH BLAH ETC!!!!" There were plenty of people around, and it was kind of surreal. The cyclist never turned around to look at him while enduring at least 15 seconds of this waiting for the light to change.
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Bring the pain.
Bring the pain.
#13
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Originally Posted by karmadog
Thanks, I laughed so hard I squirted coffee thru my nose!
At least it wasn't a Ramen noodle soaked in Tabasco sauce. Cuz that hurts. Especially when it decides to just stay in your nose for a few hours before finally coming out.
#14
contrarian

Joined: Jan 2004
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From: CO Springs
Bikes: 80's ross road bike/commuter, 80's team miyata, 90's haro mtb xtracycle conversion, koga mitaya world traveler
Yeah, real nice response, dude.
Oh they were barking at you because you are a dog?
Oh they were barking at you because you are a dog?
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Higher ground for the apocalypse!
Higher ground for the apocalypse!
#15
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Originally Posted by lala
Yeah, real nice response, dude.
Oh they were barking at you because you are a dog?
Oh they were barking at you because you are a dog?
#17
Guy with bike
Joined: Sep 2004
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From: Madison, WI
Originally Posted by pj7
I never got mad, I just wondered at how stupid can these three girls be, did they think this was actually funny?
Then I said "well I thought you had an unruley dog in here, but now I see it's just two *****es and a ****". Then I barked at her and turned around to ride off because I had to go back a few yeards to get to my side street turn off.
Me, I think you're both funny as hell.
#18
It's full of stars...
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 298
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From: Oregon
Bikes: Trek OCLV mt Bike, Diamond Back Sorrento (stolen), Cannondale 4000, KHS fixie, Giant Butte commuter work horse
Last summer me and a buddy were out on pub crawl biking between breweries in the early afternoon. We were holding at a red light when a Honda accord rolled up next to us. I looked over and there were 3 very cute college girls -completely naked. Just driving around I guess, they just smiled and I kind of dumbly smile back staring and of course kicked my buddy to take a look. Just as he did the light turned and they were outta of there. One of the craziest things I've seen while riding around. It's true, I swear.
#21
Spoked to Death
Joined: Jul 2004
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From: Boulder, CO
Bikes: Salsa La Cruz w/ Alfine 8, Specialized Fuse Pro 27.5+, Surly 1x1
A stupid action deserves a stupid response. Well done! 
I was with a friend at Burning Man last year when a completely naked beautiful woman rode past on some old bike. I said, "Wow, look at that!" and pointed her out. He took a look, nodded his head, and said, "Wow, you don't see schwinns that old in that good of shape these days!" Damn guy had his head in the clouds... But I guess he really does love bikes.
peace,
sam
PS, is this going to turn into a "naked people I saw while biking" thread? I hope so.

I was with a friend at Burning Man last year when a completely naked beautiful woman rode past on some old bike. I said, "Wow, look at that!" and pointed her out. He took a look, nodded his head, and said, "Wow, you don't see schwinns that old in that good of shape these days!" Damn guy had his head in the clouds... But I guess he really does love bikes.
peace,
sam
PS, is this going to turn into a "naked people I saw while biking" thread? I hope so.
#23
Metaphorically speaking
Joined: Sep 2004
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From: Auckland, NZ
Bikes: Cannondale R600 ultegra spec
I was out doing a circuit a few weeks back on my roadie, well I was spinning over a dis-used motorway bridge that is now used for walkers & fishers, and came up on an older couple. I ducked around them and shot the gap through a fence. Well further down I hear all this yelling + shouting. I stopped & this guy behind me on a MTB came up and did his nuts, apparently the old guy further back went berko when I buzzed around them and started swearing and shouting, and this guy behind me on the MTB copped his walking stick - just because he was there & on a bike. I nearly fell off my bike laughing.
#25
Chairman of the Bored

Joined: May 2004
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From: St. Petersburg, FL
Bikes: 2004 Raleigh Talus, 2001 Motobecane Vent Noir (Custom build for heavy riders)
Random events crack me up.
I prolly would have barked back.
Best I ever had was some drunken fools in the back of a car egging the driver to pace me while they were rooting and hollering for me to speed up, and everytime I sped up they just cheered harder...I was laughing so hard once I hit my 14t that I had to turn...never in my life have I ever seen a carful of drunks get so excited from seeing a (back then) 240lb fatguy on a 15 year old trek hauling ass.
I prolly would have barked back.
Best I ever had was some drunken fools in the back of a car egging the driver to pace me while they were rooting and hollering for me to speed up, and everytime I sped up they just cheered harder...I was laughing so hard once I hit my 14t that I had to turn...never in my life have I ever seen a carful of drunks get so excited from seeing a (back then) 240lb fatguy on a 15 year old trek hauling ass.




