I'm not sure if anyone can really help with this. But I often find that organizing my thoughts enough to post them helps me figure things out.

Yesterday, I had to put my 10-year-old cat to sleep because of illness. I'm taking it very hard. I didn't realize I felt so strongly about that big snuggly fur ball. I'm sure going to miss him.

I am not sure I will be able to concentrate sufficiently to ride a bike in traffic. The ability to just let go is one thing I like about biking. But I fear those times will be dominated by Tuxedo memories for the next few days. I wonder if I will be too distracted to ride safely.

I'm going to ride some today on a MUP without cars in hopes to get a better handle on my concentration. I'm not sure how well I can gauge from that. The MUP is pretty busy so I don't get those 10 minutes alone stretchs when it's just me and my thoughts. Those are the times that I fear. But the MUP ride will certainly make me feel better.

dalmore,
My condolences to you. Our pets become a big part of the threads of our lives, and we so miss them when they are gone. I would ride the MUP as the concentration will help. Is it possible to get someone to ride at least part of the way with you? I might help. Or even a long mind numbing ride in the country. Good Luck as you work thru it.

Aaron

As a cat lover I feel your pain and have suffered this through my life more
than I care to recall.
I hope that the passing of time will have you finding inner peace soon so you may
concentrate more on what his great kitty gave you during his time with you.

We had my wife's cat of 12 years put to sleep a few months ago. She was suffering from liver failure.
I didn't think I would miss our little ball of fur. Boy was I wrong.
Our attention turned to our second cat that had lived with my wife's cat for his whole life. Thank goodness cats are independent creatures.
Time will make things better.
Perhaps you should take a day off or ride the transit into work.

After a long bout with Kidney failure, my beloved Kat died just after his 7th birthday. I knew I would be upset, but was surprised at just how upset I was. I went to my coworkers and professors (I was in school at the time) and explained the circumstances and why I would not be operating at full capacity for the foreseeable future.

I was astonished and deeply touched by the depth of understanding and support I recieved from my peers.

I was able to work through it in part by riding my bike. But if you have a long commute in heavy traffic, this might be unadvisable. However, I suspect you'll know when the time is right.

As somebody else pointed out, time is the only thing. So take whatever you need. Loosing a pet is every bit as stressfull as loosing a close relative. Perhaps more so, as there is not always the support network you would get for a human. So, if you think of this more in terms of loosing a close friend or relative, it might, perhaps, be easier to manage and reconsile your grief. And also, know that it's really okay.

Thanks for all the support. It does indeed feel like I've lost a family member. And I'm also feeling somewhat embarrassed to be taking it this hard. Weird huh? Why should I be embarrassed that I loved my cat?

The bike ride went very well this morning. Right now, I'm planning to go back to the mixed mode commute on Tuesday when I bike in again. Very light traffic to a bus stop. Maybe Wednesday, I'll be up for the whole ride again.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I totally understand. Two years ago yesterday I had to call the vet to put my 13 year old dog to sleep (diabetes, and ultimately kidney failure). It is very upsetting. Don't be embarassed about feeling!

When my dog, my constant companion, Lucy, died a few years back, I thought I could go on as normal. I went to school that day because I had a math test. I failed it misearbly and later ended up breaking down because of a lost calculator. You are smart to realize the pain of losing a friend and giving yourself sometime to grieve and remember a friend. biking will comeback naturally.

dalmore,
Don't be embarrassed about loving your cat. I've had to put a beloved dog down and that was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. I also know it was the right decision because he no longer suffering. I cried like a big baby, so much for the big bad tough cop. One thing that helped me was to read the Rainbow Bridge. It is so true not just for dogs, but for cats. Some say that since animals have no soul they can't go to Heaven and I can't believe that. I can't believe that God gives us pets that love us unconditionally that are just gone when they die. I have no doubt I will see Harley in the future. Hang in there, and enjoy the memories of all that was good that you both shared.

So sorry to hear about your cat. As my little monster gets up in years, I start to worry a little...

Would it help if you vary your route so that you have no option but to direct your complete attention to your surroundings? For me, it's the familiar situations that I'm most likely to be distracted in.

That is very sad.

Lucky for me my little cat will never die, so I don't have to worry about that. (I'll keep telling myself this, please don't disabuse me of my notions.)

I find that DOING things like bike riding, particularly with traffic, has the remarkable effect of re-caging my attention on what I'm doing. Everything else disappears until it's done. Particularly flying the jet; once I strap in, all the other concerns go on hold.

You may want to simply try. A lot of your fear of going out may simply be an expression of grief and a reluctance to do anything (often associated with grief). I may be wrong, but you too may find your attention where it needs to be in a big hurry.

How about a hug? It's always so hard to lose something that close to you...

Sorry to hear about this

I lost Sheba(RIP) my dog three years ago. I found that physical activity was the best for me. It gave me time away from what just had happened. I also had support from the Bike Forums members to.

Johnny

Sorry to hear about your loss. My heart goes out to you.

Being a good pet owner a lot of times comes down to making that last tough decision. It's the right thing to do even if it feels like the worst. Hang in there. We can all relate.