I bet we all have a "favorite" type of clueless cager. My absolute favorite type of cager to cut me off is the kind of jerk who has his upscale car covered in high-end bicycle racks. "Yeah... thanks for sharing the road, Mr. Cyclist." I wonder if their cars run on irony... or perhaps they're eco-conscious, and their cars run on bio-irony...

The idiots driving the mobile billboards (ie: Company vehicle)

Had an Orkin guy squeeze me pretty close today. Called the corporate office, and asked if they'd speak with their drivers and mention that the bicyclist one of them tried to run off the road is a CUSTOMER. We have 6 buildings, (1 office building and 5 apartment buildings with more than 100 units). Not too bright to try to kill your customers.

My favorite cager is the utterly clueless cell phone talker, usually driving some unnecessarily oversized vehicle. I was cutoff by one of these characters who turned right in front of me the other day, only to have to stop in the intersection because there was a pedestrian in the crosswalk. We had a moment, me and the cager, and she had a kinda moronic, apologetic look on her face -- almost like she couldn't help herself.

The one on another road.

I like the ones with the tinted windows who get mad at you for standing there, when they wave you to go on. I like to just wait them out. After about a minute, I'll put my hand up to my forehead like it's a visor, squint and lean forward a little. Sometimes I can actually make them out waving frantically. Do they not realize that they got tinted windows when they had the very same tinted windows installed?

My favorites, and I don't see too many of them, are the people that pass me on the road, then slam on brakes waiting for me to pass them so they can make a right turn.

I'm usually stopped, just standing there shaking my head. There's no way in hell I'd trust my life to them by making that pass.

My favorite of all time come in pairs.
I'm on the bike path crossing with the light. the first car in line waiting to make a right turn sees me after starting to take off and they stop, then I hear the screeching of rubber behind them as some nit-wit is slamming on his brakes and has to weave out into the next lane to avoid rearending the one that was waiting for me.

I'm more than willing to wait for the police to show up so that I can give my eye witness report of what just happened.

brahaha

My favorites are the ones that try to beat you to the intersection so they can turn. Somehow beating you to the intersection, in their minds, justifies cutting you off. I usually just give their rear window a nice slap just to say good-job.

My favorite: I'm turning left, the cager is coming from the other direction and turning right, so we both end up going the same direction on the same street, and he wants to wave me ahead. Why? So he can pass me? I don't think so.

Angry JAM who yells stuff at me, only to get caught at a red light a quarter mile up the road where I get the chance to roll up next to him and question his sanity.

Actually, my favourite driver (doesn't fit the cager/JAM profile) is a guy from our loading docks. He drives a big ol' 80s Suburban, and one day when it was snowing he slowed down and offered me a ride up the last hill on my route to work. I declined, he shrugged, and now every morning when he passes me, he gives a polite toot on the horn and says 'good morning' as he heads up the hill.

The well insured ones who hit me hard enough to damage the bike but not hard enough to hurt me. Get most of my new bikes for free from these cagers. Just upgraded from a TCR Comp 1 to a Look 585 courtesy of a well insured cager.

Occasionally this type will miscalculate my speed and will not get to the red light or stop sign ahead of me. When I see this is possible I will sprint and ease over making sure they're in the wrong lane at the red light or stop sign. The expression on there face is priceless! What's even better is a policeman seeing this and giving the motor vehicle operator a reckless driving ticket. I always give the officer my ID so if they fight the ticket I can show up in court as a witness.

Always? Just curious, how many times have you done this "always give the officer my ID" as a witness routine under these circumstances? Make any trips to court yet?

My "favorite" was one who, while I was riding into a stiff breeze on a 4 lane bridge with a speed limit of 45 mph and working my arse off and going about 10 mph, pulled along side me and travelled at my speed for about 10 seconds, and then took off. It was about 25 deg F.

I don't know what he was up to, but he ticked me off.

The ones who try really hard to beat you to the red light that you both have to stop at.

Motorists that take time out of their day to engage me in a pointless debate. This always occurs later in the week at the end of a long ride and the end result is me cursing profusely.
Finally I label them with pointless terms like cager, ahole, etc and post it on the internet.

Loogie-Leftie ----->drives a 80's cage and never looks while turning left. Rides all over Seattle metro area and can be spotted dozing at a light.

I do appreciate drivers who are going to be making a right who stay back and wait for you to clear an intersection. I try to give them a friendly wave if it will not confuse others at the intersection.

I have this accident fantasy about would-be righthookers, where they pass way too fast in a rush to get to the intersection, make a hard right and flip the car into a rolling, flaming, heap as I ride by on their left.

APPEARING FROM CAMERA RIGHT.

Dennis Haysbert: "Distracted driving. One moment of inattention can lead to unintended consequences. That's Allstate's stand..."

Louis Lane sits/rides half in the bike lane chatting in her black BMW. Cell phone optional.

Bobbing Bob weaves in and out of the bike lane in his GenX fuel/e$$ficient cage. His superiority to other gas-hogs causes him to forget that his bike is parked elsewhere.

Ride Mode: Bobs in the bike lane-opps I'm a cage today- Back in the car lane Repeat esp while using the Cam/Phone on Hottie cagers.

I'd change the text to something like, "aggressive driving, rushing, and failing to think of others can lead to unintended consequences..."

Thank you for enhancing my fantasy.

Even better when she's got s $300 bike rack on top of the bimmer.

Personal favorite (and only because it's happened three times recently): I'm taking a lane that, 50 yards ahead, becomes a RTOL. JAM behind me needs to make the right. I check shoulder, see that they're well back of me and maintaining speed and there's no one in the left lane. I signal that I'm merging left...and suddenly hear an engine racing as the JAM accelerates and passes me on the left WHILE MY ARM'S EXTENDED, nearly hitting my hand.

I've "educated" the JAMs who've done this to me, as they've all been pulling into a parking lot at the end of the RTOL.

And, just for a change of pace, the last one who did this to me passed me on the right by driving through a breakdown lane on a bridge. She was particularly brilliant. I couldn't catch her, but I saw that she pulled into a day care place with her kid. I went to the day care place and had all the office staff come outside so I could identify to them which car she drove, what she had done, etc.