Again this morning I had an encounter with a driver while riding my bicycle to work. We talked about what happened. I’ve resolved this year to be more polite, to really try and understand the other side, not to let my anger get the best of me. Yet it makes me mad when people almost kill me. Mad enough to respond in kind. I know there would be no good outcome if violence erupted so I labor to be nice as I know how. So far so good this year, but I worry that it is only March. Our conversation went something like this

Me- Good morning. How are you. You know you came pretty close to me as you passed by. Your mirror wasn’t even a foot away from my arm. You really need to be a little more careful.

Him-Hi, good morning. Oh, yeah, on the curve. I didn’t cross over the double yellow line cause a car was coming the other way. That would have been unsafe.

Me-Yeah, I understand you wouldn’t want to collide head on, but it was more than unsafe to crowd me out and nearly run me off the road. I could have been badly hurt.

Him-I guess you could have pulled off the shoulder, or not have been in the road to begin with. I really didn’t want to cram on my brakes, or slow too much and inconvenience the cars behind me.

Me-T he issue is how to safely pass one, not my choice of transportation. I have every right to be on the road, legal, moral, you name it. You have an obligation to drive safely. You could have slowed, then passed when it was clear and safe, rather than maintain your 45 mph speed and crowd me out. Because I was near the shoulder doesn’t mean you can just try and squeeze by.

Him-Well I guess you are right. I didn’t think about it that way.

We exchanged a few more pleasantries and parted company politely. My thoughts turned to my resolution to keep the anger in check and his agreement to try to pay a little more attention in the future. As I rode away I was surprised at how nice the encounter had ended and that it had a partially good outcome. It usually doesn’t go that well.

I have a plea for that and all the other drivers out there. Please don’t run me over. I am a husband, a father, a son, a veteran, a volunteer, a citizen, sometimes a driver, and I also ride a bicycle. I’m out there on my bike a lot, most days of the year in all kinds of weather. I stop at lights, keep to the right, wear bright clothes, signal my intentions, always wear a helmet, ride defensively and try to anticipate what folks in cars are going to do. Still I find myself in more close calls with cars than I ever admit to my wife and kids and more than I am comfortable with myself. I really don’t deserve it.

OK, I get it. You resent that you can’t immediately pass by me safely at times and are delayed a brief moment. However the same is true for that school bus (substitute ambulance, kid on a scooter, etc) but I don’t see you taking out your rage on them. I understand that you think the roads are just for you, even though you are mistaken, just because you are in the car. Let me assure you that everyone I know in the cycling community also owns and drive cars, and they pay the same taxes and fees as you do. You have no more right to the road than any other citizen. The roads were built for us all and can accommodate us all if you just don’t run me over.

I could talk about the law which says I have every right to be on the road. It even says how much room you are supposed to give me when you pass, how you are supposed to pass and how you shouldn’t pass when it is unsafe. Doubt if such logic would sway you much because we all had to pass the same tests to get the licenses the state issued. You probably weren’t paying attention then any more than you were when you passed me.

I could talk to you about civility, manners, and all those things your parents and kindergarten teacher emphasized way back when. You know, the idea of do unto others as you would have them do to you. Among these would be the concept of sharing, give and take, etc. Again, I bet you say the same things to your kids or family when you get home, right after you cussed at the guy in your way coming down the street, just after you blew the horn and gave that single digit salute. Again, doubt if any of those words would sway you.

So, what I will say to you, again, is please don’t run me over. In any conflict between your car and my bike I lose. I know that. Resent me for not using up gas during my daily commute. Resent me for wearing tight pants and funny shirts. Question my sexuality all you want. Resent that I am physically fit and interested in remaining healthy even if you aren’t. Make fun of my choices all you want. Just don’t run me over. Let me go home to my family, finish my ride and laugh and joke with my friends. Let me help out at the next soccer event or the high school game next fall, or the next scout meeting. If you run me over people will lose a friend, the community will lose a good citizen, my family will lose their main provider, and no one will win.

Thanks, and I promise to wave nicely as you give me some room.

Sounds good.

Sounds more reasonable than the exchange I had this morning. (First issue I've had all year on my commute, actually.)

me - <ride ride ride ride ride...>
driver - <approaching from behind on uphill curve> *HOOONNK! HONKHONKHONKHONK!* <and some yelling I didn't understand>
me - <gives finger w/o breaking pace. ride ride ride ride ride...>

I guess it's the warm weather bringing' em out of the woodwork.

I've theorized that the sun coming out powers up the roadrage that people are too blah to bother with in the rainy months, kinda like giving a depressed person just enough prozac so they can summon the energy for suicide.

Ah, if only suicide (preferably not vehicularly and without taking anyone else with them) was the end-result of drivers with road rage.

To the OP: I thought it was very well-written (and I taught English at a junior high school years ago, for what that's worth). I hope that at least one driver gets a chance to read it and does so.

I hope (against all current knowledge) that the responses in the paper will be anything aside from the usual:

"You can ride your bike on our road when you pay taxes like the rest of us"
"Get on the sidewalk where you belong"

or my personal favourite...

"I hope somebody hits you" or the tough-guy variant "If I see you riding on the road, I'm going to hit you"

I hope the paper publishes it.

It never fails to amaze and annoy me that the typical driver has much more care for a stripe of paint than a fellow human being.

They aren't taught the laws regarding fellow human beings when they take driver's ed, but the laws about that strip of paint are really pounded in.

Watch drivers at a marked pedwalk with no crossing light. Even here in Seattle where it's posted "drivers must yield to peds in walkway" I've seen drivers just plow through, narrowly missing the peds who have either just crossed from or have almost crossed to their lane of travel.

Good letter!

The conversation was interesting too.

I wonder how many people would change their tune if you could actually "confront" them face to face.

The conversation was interesting. Perhaps because he was a department of transportation worker in his state truck on the job he was more restrained and polite. He really didn't 'get it' when we began our discussion but I was committed to not backing down and to remaining polite. For sake of brevity I paraphrased and condensed. He had several other arguments regarding his driving and behavior before he conceded the point and agreed I was riding where I was supposed to and that he could have just slowed and passed when it was safe. The fact that I quoted several sections of the state code to him might have had some effect. I think he figured out I knew what I was doing and being argumentative when he was in the wrong was no way to behave with a citizen. Anyway, maybe he will be just a little bit more careful in the future. I've got to say I left the encounter feeling much better than several other encounters I've had which degenerated into violent confrontations.

My theory is that drivers think you are CRAZY for riding in winter and do not want to provoke you.

Bernie: Good job keeping your cool. You actually got your point across and hopefully made him think a little bit more the next time he passes a bike.

Well said, I do hope it gets published in the paper.

I suppose I'm the exception here but I don't ride on the road where a driver has to do something different because I am there. If there isn't a wide berm, a sidewalk, very lightly used road, etc. I just don't take that route. Aside from the fact that I do have the legal right to ride on most of the roads around here I simply don't because of what I know reality to be as both a rider and a driver. I suppose if the only place for you to ride is on roads where you have to share space, then you have to do what you have to do, but I choose to not put myself in that position.

Probably rare and potentially shows my age but in drivers ed on my first "drive" I remember going around a tight corner and being more worried about cars coming across the line and drove a bit towards or in the shoulder.
I then got reemed by the instructor about staying off the side of the road because of peds and cyclists and if I had to choose I should clip or hit a car instead of a person.

Driver education!? Whats that!! I thought drivers licenses came in cereal boxes as the FREE surprise!!!

^ Seems like it anyway...

Well seems nice. But this driver thinks to himself, "I almost kill him and he is nice" I think it's better to leave a driver thinking " Boy I'll never pass a biker again too close, I don't want my mirror ripped of again, or get killed"

At my school drivers licenses come with a set of keys to a VW Jetta.

Yes I'm a junior. Yes I ride a bike. No I'm not gay.

Them:
-play football
-play guitar hero
-text message
-get in a wreck
-get drunk
-read SI
-get 19 on ACT

Me:
-am in band
-play the drums
-design web sites
-run sound for church and events *also have designed PA and lighting solutions for my church, among others
-ride at least 10 miles a day
-go to shows
-read
-get 31 on ACT


Obviously I have natural selection going for me, but they have a bigger vehicle and less skill. I will die.

Why is any of that relevant? Sounds like one group hating another. Popularity grief?

because the cereal box surprise is instant popularity.

One point you could have raised, ( not a criticism, you done good ) was that the very fact you were having the conversation indicates the unsafe pass didn't gain him any advantage, that is, you got to the light before he could pull away.

Fair enough.

Getting any academic looks for college money? A 31 is pretty respectable as is some of your other creative endeavors. Getting that nice ACT score isn't a lock of course but it certainly puts you ahead of the heard.

No, I maintain it's because people are a**holes. Don't blame the driver ed instructors.

Ironically as it is I'm going into audio production, where most of the better schools don't factor act scores in. Although I'm equally interested in political science and/or philosophy.

You know the best cager moment was when this trashy teal Ford Escort did the whole "get your @$$ off the road!" thing. It had a fish logo on the back as well.

WonderMonkey, I have a good friend of mine that lives in Beavercreek, OH. Do you know where that is?