The Daily Salmon
#1
Thread Starter
You gonna eat that?
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 14,917
Likes: 543
From: Fort Worth, Texas Church of Hopeful Uncertainty
Bikes: 1966 Raleigh DL-1 Tourist, 1973 Schwinn Varsity, 1983 Raleigh Marathon, 1994 Nishiki Sport XRS
The Daily Salmon
Friday I had an encounter with a salmon on my ride to work. He was riding in the gutter toward me; I was in the right tire track. Just before coming up to me he moved away from the gutter and rode toward the left side of the lane I was in. It kind of startled me so I shouted, "You should be on the other side." He replied agrily, "I'm on THIS side!"
I was riding a little later than normal so I kind of blew it off.
This morning, though, I was also running a little late and encountered him again, at almost the same spot. I didn't say anything but I must have rolled my eyes because as he went by he flashed the finger at me.
What a loser.
So now... if I see him again, do I:
- Smile sweetly, wave, and say good morning?
- Tell him he's a big boy and to stop riding like a 6-year-old?
- Tell him to read the transporation code?
- Flash him the finger back?
I'm leaning toward the first. I find that the best way to de-escalate is to be the one that blinks. What do I care if he "wins"? Basically, if he's made the conscious decision to ride on the wrong side of the road and feels he is in the right, so I'm not gonna change his mind in several 5 second encounters.
I was riding a little later than normal so I kind of blew it off.
This morning, though, I was also running a little late and encountered him again, at almost the same spot. I didn't say anything but I must have rolled my eyes because as he went by he flashed the finger at me.
What a loser.
So now... if I see him again, do I:
- Smile sweetly, wave, and say good morning?
- Tell him he's a big boy and to stop riding like a 6-year-old?
- Tell him to read the transporation code?
- Flash him the finger back?
I'm leaning toward the first. I find that the best way to de-escalate is to be the one that blinks. What do I care if he "wins"? Basically, if he's made the conscious decision to ride on the wrong side of the road and feels he is in the right, so I'm not gonna change his mind in several 5 second encounters.
#2
invisible friend
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 955
Likes: 0
From: Decatur, Alabama
Bikes: Gary Fisher Tassajara hardtail mtb, '01 Rans Wave, '98 Raleigh R700, Mid-80's Takara Professional, '91 Bianchi Alfana
I'd probably yell out:"Hey dummy, it's the LAW to ride with the traffic. We already pi$$ off enough drivers just being out here!"
#4
Thread Starter
You gonna eat that?
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 14,917
Likes: 543
From: Fort Worth, Texas Church of Hopeful Uncertainty
Bikes: 1966 Raleigh DL-1 Tourist, 1973 Schwinn Varsity, 1983 Raleigh Marathon, 1994 Nishiki Sport XRS
#6
xtrajack
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,058
Likes: 0
From: Maine
Bikes: Kona fire mountain/xtracycle,Univega landrover fs,Nishiki custom sport Ross professional super gran tour Schwinn Mesa (future Xtracycle donor bike)
Tell him he has been nominated for a (or is it the) Darwin Award.
Here's your sign--or better yet, "Where's your sign."
Here's your sign--or better yet, "Where's your sign."
#8
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 397
Likes: 0
I try not to, but I roll my eyes at people doing stupid stuff. I don't try and change them, I'll just let them be a statistic if their number is up. Ninja salmon, sidewalk riders, if they're not in my way, I let them be. Otherwise, I have a bell, my airzound and a nice shouting voice to say "Get out of my way" to anyone that's in it. I have yet to have anything good of me trying to edcucate, be it drivers, peds or other cyclists.
I guess in this case, I would just give him a couple feet of gutter room to pass by as he hugged the curb, and go on with my day. No response, no wave, and no smile for the people doing stupid stuff.
I guess in this case, I would just give him a couple feet of gutter room to pass by as he hugged the curb, and go on with my day. No response, no wave, and no smile for the people doing stupid stuff.
#10
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,410
Likes: 0
From: Long Beach,CA
Bikes: Kona Ute, Nishiki 4130, Trek 7000, K2 Mach 1.0, Novara Randonee, Schwinn Loop, K2 Zed 1.0, Schwinn Cream, Torker Boardwalk
Do what you want to do because I will still be laughing at the fact you called that guy a SALMON.
#14
#15
I am a caffine girl
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,815
Likes: 1
From: Bay Area
Bikes: 2012 Stumpjumper FSR Comp...2010 Scott CR1 CF...2007 Novara FS Float2.0...2009 Specialized Hardrock Disc...2009 Schwinn Le Tour GSr
None of the above.
Aim all your lights (couple of P7) higher than usual at his eyes. That might get his attention.
Aim all your lights (couple of P7) higher than usual at his eyes. That might get his attention.
#16
Giftless Amateur

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,317
Likes: 843
From: MD / metro DC
Bikes: Cross-Check/Nexus commuter. Several others for various forms of play.
I'm all for the ignore thing. But there's a small part of me that I keep hidden most of the time that would appreciate the Longest Yard clothesline. "I think I broke his freakin' neck!" Just a brief visualization, then back to my Zen center. Even in my fantasy world I'm not deft enough to spoke-stick in a meeting engagement, but I like the way CCrew is thinking and remind me to behave next time I'm in Winchester.
So back to ignoring the Loser.
I do have to say I've been wrong before and no less an @$$ in being defensive about it. You don't need to win because you're already right. Maybe he'll break the code.
So back to ignoring the Loser.
I do have to say I've been wrong before and no less an @$$ in being defensive about it. You don't need to win because you're already right. Maybe he'll break the code.
#17
Senior Member


Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,795
Likes: 146
It doesn't happen very often, but occasionally I'll encounter someone riding the wrong way and I just don't know what to do. Well, actually, I do know what to do which is to get to the right and stop and let the dope go past. It's completely impossible to predict the actions of someone who violates the very first rule -- the only thing you can do is hope that they don't have a concealed carry permit.
#19
urban commuter
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 186
Likes: 1
From: West Philly
I encounter these idiots just about every day. They love to go the wrong way in the bike lane on one-way streets, even when the bike lane has an arrow pointed in the right direction. The "best" part is trying to figure out if they'll pass you on the right or the left, either pushing you into traffic or into the door zone.
#22
Beer and nachos today!

Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 222
Likes: 0
From: Treaty Seven
Bikes: Schwinn Peloton, Schwinn Prelude SS, Specialized Sequoia
You guys! You have it all wrong.
Doohickie, you're male, right? Blow the guy a big affectionate kiss. He's already shown what a (over)sensitive guy he is- if a virtual smooch doesn't send him careening to the other side of the road, nothing will.
Or you'll make a new friend! Win either way!
Doohickie, you're male, right? Blow the guy a big affectionate kiss. He's already shown what a (over)sensitive guy he is- if a virtual smooch doesn't send him careening to the other side of the road, nothing will.
Or you'll make a new friend! Win either way!
#23
rain-forest commuter
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 137
Likes: 1
From: Vancouver BC
Bikes: 2008 Kona Dr. Dew, 2002 Kona MokoMoko, 1994 Cadex, 1990 Breezer Thunder
First off, that joust gif is priceless.
Secondly, to the OP, I have an Airzound Horn and it's freakin' loud. I'd use that next time I see him. Trust me, it will scare the living daylights out of him.
Secondly, to the OP, I have an Airzound Horn and it's freakin' loud. I'd use that next time I see him. Trust me, it will scare the living daylights out of him.
#24
Have you heard the expression "It was a Salmon Day"? That's where you spend the whole day fighting the current ( Not in cycling terms, just fighting the usual flood of idiocy ) and when you get to the end, you get screwed.
#25
Thread Starter
You gonna eat that?
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 14,917
Likes: 543
From: Fort Worth, Texas Church of Hopeful Uncertainty
Bikes: 1966 Raleigh DL-1 Tourist, 1973 Schwinn Varsity, 1983 Raleigh Marathon, 1994 Nishiki Sport XRS
Actually, this area is apartment-rich. I've encountered this guy and a ninja (which is why being early isn't such a hot idea either) in the same area. I hate to think the worst of people but they both strike me as people who are riding bikes because they've lost their licenses to DUI or whatever. The mere thought that I'm doing this because I want to is probably foreign to them, and I bet they can't imagine I actually enjoy it.





If you only see this guy when you're late, be on time.