lol...!

I'm straight--and not guy (and look like a woman)---> so I GOT-outta-there! Had I been thinking clearly, landing a "get-lost" rocket inside the window as the light changed would probably have done the job!

This is why I like to take my ultracompact digicam everywhere I go.

Worst – Once I toured with a young lady that had a bad knee. To help her, I piled all of her stuff on the back of my bike which was already heavy. Later we were going down a long hill with railroad tracks at its bottom. My front wheel bounced when it hit the tracks and the bike did a back flip with me still on it. I landing on my shoulder and helmet and passed out for a short time. I was riding one handed for the next week while the nerves in my arm healed. The arm was paralyzed for a couple of days and very weak for a couple of months.

Funniest – A goose threatened me every day on my commute until the day I got a bent. That day the goose attacked me from the side going for my neck. I gave it an elbow in its neck at the last second but the impact knocked us both down. I don't see what is funny in this story but most people laugh when they hear it.

Most remarkable – I was traveling about 20 mph on the left hand lane of a one way street getting ready to make a left turn. A car pulls up beside me and starts to shadow me. I looked up to see that the driver was staring at me with this evil grin. Then he slowly moved left. It took less than 5 seconds for him to drive me into the curb. I went flying over my handlebars, did a flip in the air, landed on my feet and broke into a run without falling. My bike tumbled past me. I looked up to see that the driver was speeding away and was already too far get his license plate number. I was lucky that time but I still get nightmares 25 years later.

Memorable – They are all memorable except for the ones forgotten.

I wouldnt call it my best war story, but the other night on the commute home from work I rode by a girl totally beating down her boyfriend on the side of the road. They stopped fighting as I rode past and we all just looked at each other, I said as I rode by..."hey man treat your girl better" the girls started yelling at and hitting the guy saying..."yeah! wtf is wrong with you" I was laughing all the way home.

Bwahahaha.

Geez Geezer you should get your own TV show!

If you bike all your life and live as long as me, things will happen to you. These are nothing compared to my stories (experiences) about bears, canoing, and rock climbing.

More stories from others please.

That IS funny! I'm convinced geese are evil. Try riding through a gaggle that is stationed on a bike path in a park. Whoa.

My most notorious incident with a motorist I've come to call "The Screwdriver Man". I was halfway through my regular morning commute, stopped at a red light that has a shared straight/right turn lane with a green right arrow, then a solid green for both straight/right traffic. Goofy light. I had tried staying to the right, then some car inevitably would try to turn right into me. I tried staying left, then I'd get trapped in the middle of the road by straight through traffic to my right. So after several months I had resolved to sit in the middle of the lane during the right green arrow no matter how many cars behind me wanted to turn right.

One rainy morning I'm first in line at the green arrow. I hear some yelling behind me, some guy telling me to get the F out of the way. I sit there. I'm sort of monitoring the situation, then the guy pops out of the van, big old hairy long-haired wild looking dude, with a screwdriver in each hand, coming toward me! I drop my bike and run to the sidewalk. We exchange verbal tirades. The screwdriver man gets back in his van. I come up to the driver in front of him and ask if he will be my witness and he responds, "Will you shut up, I have nuns in the back" . . . huh? . . . Screwdriver man then pulls around and throws a 2 liter bottle out of his window and spits, more profanity. I retreat further to the sidewalk to dodge the bottle. Then someone pulls up to my bob trailer and steals my dufflebag!

Resolution: Police recover my dufflebag 5 blocks away in the middle of the street, only thing missing is the keys, so because they also could have my home address from my wallet, I have to call my wife and tell her a crazed madman may be on the way. I had the license plate, so police visit screwdriver man and call me in for a photo lineup and charge him with assault, theft, and driving with a suspended license.

Hmmm... Any relation to 'Smoking Man'?

Riding home from class, down a big hill. im speeding along in the bike lane and a lady passes me, swerves in front of me and slams on the brake. I go over her hood...I didn't get hurt (other than a little blood, and my bike was OK). So I get back on my bike and ride home and check out the damage...everything seems ok, and i decide to go for a swim to try and relax. I get back on my bike, and start riding to the pool. A coupleof minutes in to the ride....WHAM! i got doored. I flew over the door, smashed my head, was bleeding pretty bad (would have been REALLY bad if I hadn't had a helmet on). The driver was *really* freaked out...

In 10 years of commuting, those are the only 2 accidents Ive been in, and they were both in the space of an hour.

This happened to me this summer;

Best experience this year was in mid June - riding home after work and it was High School Grad PArty time.


This stretch white limo pulls up alongside me and all the girls inside are yelling at me and waving ...


After the next light, they pull up beside me again, this time there's a couple of them standing up through the moon roof and flashing me as they go by!!


I laughed like hell and waved carried on my way, I get further along, up the last big climb close to home, the same damn Limo pulls up alongside me and there they are again out the moon roof and just -- OUT !!

Damn I like good weather - I'm 44 but I enjoyed the ride that day!!!

haha, go through some not so weird smelling water, a few times...maybe it will counteract the weird smelling water's evil aura

Com'on Merton...Quit hold'n back...Out with it...your best war story...!

I love how proud the driver always feels when they rev their engine. It's so impressive. :-D

This reminds me of the time I was riding home on my evening commute. I hear this engine rev behind me, and this butt-ugly gap-toothed chick is hangin out the window with her hand out as if to slap my spandex covered butt. Missed. Hootin and hollerin ensue. I felt like I was living some twisted version of the movie Deliverance.

Most of my best stories involve catching people doing things of which their mom's would disapprove. Once, while bombing down a local creek trail on some singletrack, I rounded a secluded corner to find 4 nekkid teenagers from the local swimming pool enjoying the horizontal disco. One of them yelled a very common vulgurism in response to the suprise. I responded "Looks like. Come here often?" and continued on my merry way.

One Friday afternoon after work, I went over to some friends to hang out, and, after many hands of canasta, I left at about 1:30AM. Downtown Phoenix is empty at 1:30, and the industrial section I was biking through on my way to Tempe is even emptier. I was cruising along, passing some big industrial buildings, when three things happened, simultaneously. First, I noticed some old, chain link-fenced houses sandwiched between these big buildings. Second, I spotted three large dogs hanging out in front (one doberman, and two mixed breeds). And third, they spotted me!

They moved like every pack of wolves I've seen on film, spreading out and running at angles to cut me off and close in from behind. I started a sprint and went up through the gears as fast as I could, but they had me. And there was no where to go: no side streets, big high curb to my right. At the end of this stretch of road, there was a major intersection, but it was about a quarter of mile away.

They approached from behind and to the left, with a low growling that pulsated as they ran. I was spinning as fast as I could, a race to see who could go faster and farther. One dog pulled up even with me, and began to close the gap between himself and my leg. I was almost free if I could just get past this one dog. Out of terror, I turned as the dog came within biting distance and did what any prey would do ... I let out a primal scream -- A howl! A roooar! A terrified death cry! -- first shrill, then deep, and as loud as I could manage.

And the dog pulled up! A slightly bewildered look crossed its face for a stride or two, and then it came on again, even with my back wheel but out of biting distance. Energized, I turned back to the front and pushed as hard as I could. The other dogs had taken worse angles, so I had an empty road in front of me. Once past them, the dogs gave up the chase, though they continued trotting in my direction, and I continuted to haul toward the major intersection, planning to run the red, rraffic or no. But they lost interest in me and had turned around by the time I got there. About five minutes later, as the adrenaline wore off, I could barely bike, my legs were so wobbly.

ROTF,L!!!

I'm sorry, that has me rolling! "I have nuns in the back"!

jbbacon: I woudl've been terrified if I was in your position. Good job riding so fast. I bet that was the fastest you've ever rode on flat road. Good thing you were on a bike!!!

I don't think I've had really bad stories... Just strange things recently..

-This summer, I passed some guy riding on a pos bike at night, comming back from a frirend's place. The guy looks at me as I pass buy, and tells me "don't tell anyone you've seen me"... Isn't that a stupid thing to do if you're trying to be unoticed??


-2 weeks ago, a pedestrian looks @ me when I pass by, I'm on the right side, all geared up, and the guy tells me "you should be riding on the other side" wtf???

It's been a weird year for me. I have shared most of this stuff in other threads. In May, I had three high school girls pull up next to me and flash me (seriously, it really did happen). In June, a lady screamed at me for not announcing my presence and then she proceeded to let her Lhasa Apso loose on me. That one ended with my grabbing the dog by the nape and taking it back to its owner. A couple of weeks ago, a guy in a pickup truck pulled over at a red light, waited for me, got out, and challenged me to a fight.

In the ten years preceding this year, hardly an incident.....

Oh yeah, and then there was another guy this past June that pinned me up against the curb while I was taking a turn. I almost caught the guy at the next light!

Oh yeah, another one I forgot. A woman pulled up next to me with a guy in the passenger seat and another woman in the back seat. The guy made a puckering sound as they pulled up next to me. In response, I pulled my shorts down to expose my left cheek and backed up to his window. The guy turned crimson!