You know how it goes: you're biking to/from work, it's a great morning/afternoon...you enjoy the ride. Then you feel this sweat on your forehead so you wipe it off with you hand and then...you look at your hand and you see this eeewww stuff on it. Yeap, a UFO has just deposited his digested product on your head. Or perhaps you see the poop coming, getting larger and larger, but you can't avoid it. Or you see this flock of canada geese coming close...do you watch their rear ends just in case something gets dropped your way?
I've been pooped bombed and I'm sure I gave the bird new scientific names (adhering to the four letter convention). How about ya?

Does being broadsided by an Albatross count? I was riding from the mess hall to my room on an ancient rusty beach cruiser on Midway Atoll in 2001 and an Albatross collided with me as he made his take-off. While Albatross may be excellent long distance gliders, they are very poor at take-off/landing and close quarters manuvering.

Also got the cab of my truck completely engulfed in Turkey Vulture feces in Bahia de Los Angeles once. Don't even want to contemplate what that would have been like if I was pedaling....

I got tagged by some bird poo around
the shoulders a while back. I didn't
catch the freaking fowl, probably was
a pissed off pigeon.

I haven't been poop bombed but I have been dive bombed by magpies. Left a few beak shaped indentations in my helmet.

YUP, I've been attacked and pooped on by birds. Lovely.

I got hit once in the shoulder with seagull feces, and I don't really want to repeat the experience. So now, when a bird is flying low and straight in front of me, I track 'em. Probably not the best idea, though; what am I going to go if the bird lets loose, dodge into traffic?

No birds but I did have a close encounter...

I was riding down a nice hill on a road called Indian Shoals on one of my Saturday morning training rides.

Then out of the corner of my eye I saw a little fawn. It was hopping towards the road, but it didn't look like it had a jump on me...So I started to pick up speed so I could be sure that the darn thing wouldn't run out in front of me.

About that time, I think there were at least 4 more big deer that bolted out of the woods and right into the road in front of me. Needless to say I started to brake...(I was riding my recumbent, so I thought I was toast...)

But those things are lightning fast, and I blinked thinking I was going to hit one. I saw it's hooves going over the top of me...

Whoo-Luckie me!

I've got three stories.

Story one.

One Sunday afternoon, I was riding along Skyline Blvd. up in the mountains near Piedmount, here in northern California. I noticed a flock of birds in the middle of the road. There were about thirty or more crows. I slowed a little to give them time to flee. However, before I could alter my direction, I realized that one of the birds in my direct path was unable to move. I ran right over him, thinking that he would indeed move. Well, he didn't! He died instantly! I was kinda remorseful about the whole thing and could not take my mind away from the matter, when suddenly I felt something splatter upon my helmet, as I felt a whisp of moisture upon my face. I instantly pulled over to realize that I had just been bombed by a fellow mourning crow.

Story two.

One day I went to some hotdog stand and purchased a couple of chili dogs. I planned to devour the hotdogs upon my arrival at home. However, as I approached my home, I noticed the neighbors having a barbecue. I waved at them and they invited me over for ribs and beer. I started to refuse, but I'm no genuine fool, so I reluctantly accepted the invite. So after a about a slab of ribs, a couple of hamburgers, and several beers, I returned home and placed my hotdogs neatly into the refrigerator. After a few days passed, I decided that I didn't really want the hotdogs, afterall. I decided that I would prepare a nice hotdog lunch for some homeless person or persons near the downtown library near the Civic Center of downtown San Francisco. I therefore, proceeded to fry some french fries to go with the hotdogs that I had reseasoned with cumin, garlic, and onion powder. I added a little ketchup to the special sauce that I incorporated into the chili sauce and wrapped the new hotdog sensations up in foil for the homeless. After parking just across the street from the downtown Main library near Larkin street in San Francisco, I found a convenient place to leave the wrapped chili hotdogs and french fries, inside of a brown paper bag. I walked back to my car, watched and waited, for some lucky homeless person to discover the wonderful lunch that I had prepared for him/her.

After about ten minutes of waiting...I see this huge Seagull approach the brown bag. He instantly, sticks his beak into the bag, as if to smell or sniff. He then, picks the entire bag up and slings it to one side, ripping the bag apart. As the bag rips, I can plainly see the aluminum foiled wrapped hotdogs become partially revealed. The french fries were already peering out of the bag. Therefore, at this time, the contents were exposed.
Suddenly, I see about a dozen or so Seagulls appear out of nowhere. They all began to attack the homeless lunch. Within about two minutes, the homeless lunch was nothing but remnants of alimunum foil and shreds of brown paper. After only three minutes, no Seagulls could be found. Only the usual pigeons could be witnessed, scrounging for tidbits...

Story three.

It was back in 1973. I was driving a school bus for the mentally handicapped. After arriving at my home school to make my daily delivery of kids, I step off the bus, open the door, and release my passengers for school. After the last kid gets off the bus, he looks up and says, "Look! There goes some bees!" I then casually look up and lo and behold, just like this kid said, there were indeed, a few bees high up near the second floor window of the school. As I focused in on the bees, I thought..."How strange of it for this kid to notice those bees so far away and distant up around the second story window of this school". I kept staring at the bees. One was a huge queen bee. As I stared and gawked, I noticed that the huge queen bee, began to break away from the other bees. She seemed to be descending and flying on a course towards me. Next thing you know, she's coming directly at me. She's flying so fast, that I don't have time to responsibly react. This huge queen bee then flies straight at my nose. I swiped at the bee and hit my nose real hard. I smashed the bee. I also smashed the bee's stinger into my nose. My nose swelled up to the size of a large lemon for a whole day. It took an entire week for the swelling to go down so that my face could begin to look normal.

...All true stories...

- Slim

It is Good Luck to get bird bombed!

I once had a huge flock of about 100 Canada geese simultaneously take flight just as I was riding by them. Amazing that they had the facility to negotiate their way around me as rode through them. Wings were millimeters from my face as they swerved by me- it was fantastic.