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Fred?

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Old 09-24-12 | 07:44 AM
  #26  
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Originally Posted by Mr. Hairy Legs
Fred is someone who meets at least one of these criteria:
√ -rides a cheap bike
x -rides an expensive bike, slowly
√ -has hairy legs
√ -wears normal clothes while riding
√ -is carrying anything with him, in panniers, backpack etc.
√ -rides to work
√ -uses fenders

√ - uses a mirror
√ - uses lights (more than one set front and rear)
√ - wears a reflective vest (not purchased at a bike shop)

Last edited by FenderTL5; 09-24-12 at 07:48 AM.
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Old 09-24-12 | 08:36 AM
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I am Fredicus!
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Old 09-24-12 | 08:53 AM
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Originally Posted by CB HI
I am pretty sure someone has said "I am Fred" before. Please cite references and give credit with quotation marks.
"I am Fred." Fred Flintstone
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Old 09-24-12 | 10:53 AM
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You know you're a Fred if.....

Your bike sports a bigger mirror than the Hubble Space Telescope....

You have modified a pair of loafers/pumps for an SPD cleat....

There is more room to park your bike in your cubicle, than room to sit....(office fred application...)

Last edited by silmarillion; 09-24-12 at 10:56 AM.
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Old 09-24-12 | 11:24 AM
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My name is Fred Fred and my middle name is Fred and my nickname is Fred.

Thank you very much and very proud of it.
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Old 09-24-12 | 11:39 AM
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Add one more: uses non-cycling bottles. I use Brita (the bottles that have a filter - allows me to fill up anywhere with reasonable peace of mind
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Old 09-24-12 | 11:48 AM
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how about bike shoes on platform pedals? I figure I have to get some good Fred points for that.
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Old 09-24-12 | 11:51 AM
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my porn name is Fred
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Old 09-24-12 | 12:09 PM
  #34  
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My father, and his father were both named Fred. I was doomed before I was even born.

I believe I meet all of the qualifications...but I have a few questions

What are the definitions of a cheap bike, and that of an expensive bike?
What about riding a couple of moderately-priced bikes?
What is the definition of "riding slowly"?
Is a 15mph average 'slow' for a 265lb clyde?
Do Freds need to know then answers to these, and similar questions? Or does that make them unFredly?
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Old 09-24-12 | 12:39 PM
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I Fred, therefore I am.
- Fred René Descartes
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Old 09-24-12 | 12:52 PM
  #36  
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Originally Posted by jon c.
how about bike shoes on platform pedals? I figure I have to get some good Fred points for that.
Especially if they were KISS Destroyer Gene Simmons Platform cleats!
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Old 09-24-12 | 12:58 PM
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Originally Posted by rootman
i fred, therefore i am.
- fred rené descartes

ahaha
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Old 09-24-12 | 01:19 PM
  #38  
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Originally Posted by Mr. Hairy Legs
Fred is someone who meets at least one of these criteria:

-rides a cheap bike (if you mean used vintage CL find)
-rides an expensive bike, slowly (if you mean used CL find)
-has hairy legs (my nickname is Sasquatch)
-wears normal clothes while riding (REI Cycling Underwear FTW!)
-is carrying anything with him, in panniers, backpack etc. (I do this even when I am not on a bike)
-rides to work (my bike is my car)
-uses fenders (Hell yes)

In short, any man riding a bike for any _practical_ purpose is a Fred.
Holy crap I am Fred
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Old 09-24-12 | 01:35 PM
  #39  
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I think eyeglass mirrors trump handlebar mirrors in Fredliness, but it's a close call...
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Old 09-24-12 | 01:54 PM
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According to this definition I'm a "FRED" because I refused to dress up in a costume to take my bycycle for a ride. What's the term for the guy who thinks he is racing in the Tour De France. Most of the guys I see in there bicycle costumes look like there doing an imitation of 10LBs of bolonga in a 5LB bag. I've never called anyone a name because of the way they were dresses and I've never been called a name for what I was wearing. I did not know I was a "Fred". I just want to get out of the house, and exercise.
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Old 09-24-12 | 03:41 PM
  #41  
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Just call me Fredicus Magnus.

As for where the term came from, there are two schools of thought.

There's a guy who's a legend among bicyclists. (I don't even know if he really existed or not, to tell the truth) In the early 1900s he went on a cross country bicycle trip and had all sorts of adventures. I'll bet he was one tough cookie. I've heard that his first name was Fred and that 'utility' type bicyclists are referred to as such out of a sort of deference to this guy.

But, really, I don't believe this.

I think that the term probably came from the roadies and it was meant as an insult. They're accusing us of being a sort-of "Ward Cleaver" clueless dork who doesnt' have any idea what he's doing.

We, knowing a lot more about what really counts than they think, have appropriated the name as a badge of honor.
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Old 09-24-12 | 03:54 PM
  #42  
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Originally Posted by bluegoatwoods
Just call me Fredicus Magnus.

As for where the term came from, there are two schools of thought.

There's a guy who's a legend among bicyclists. (I don't even know if he really existed or not, to tell the truth) In the early 1900s he went on a cross country bicycle trip and had all sorts of adventures. I'll bet he was one tough cookie. I've heard that his first name was Fred and that 'utility' type bicyclists are referred to as such out of a sort of deference to this guy.

But, really, I don't believe this.

I think that the term probably came from the roadies and it was meant as an insult. They're accusing us of being a sort-of "Ward Cleaver" clueless dork who doesnt' have any idea what he's doing.

We, knowing a lot more about what really counts than they think, have appropriated the name as a badge of honor.
I actually met "Fredicus Maximus" several years ago, although he wasn't wearing a breastplate or leather skirt and his name wasn't really Fred.
He was in Arizona heading toward the bay area to finish his coast to coast trip.
Old department store bike / Brown polyester long pants / street shoes (the kind of half-boot that zipped up the side) / button down dress shirt.
He looked like he couldn't make it 10 miles in one day. In reality, he could ride me into the dirt. I admire him.
So yes, there are multiple definitions of "fred." Some with admiration, and some not so nice. I think it originated from riders who have great skills and knowledge but don't LOOK like thay have a clue. Apparently, that pisses some people off.
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Old 09-24-12 | 04:13 PM
  #43  
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Originally Posted by otis66
According to this definition I'm a "FRED" because I refused to dress up in a costume to take my bycycle for a ride. What's the term for the guy who thinks he is racing in the Tour De France. Most of the guys I see in there bicycle costumes look like there doing an imitation of 10LBs of bolonga in a 5LB bag. I've never called anyone a name because of the way they were dresses and I've never been called a name for what I was wearing. I did not know I was a "Fred". I just want to get out of the house, and exercise.
The Term for which you are searching is "Poser."
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Old 09-24-12 | 04:40 PM
  #44  
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Bike Snob NYC subscribes to the opposing definition; that of the "spend way too much money chasing the latest technology" variety of Fred.

https://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2012/03/sacrifice-high-cost-of-fred-dom.html
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Old 09-24-12 | 07:18 PM
  #45  
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FREDS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!!
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Old 09-24-12 | 07:24 PM
  #46  
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To beat the Fred, we must understand the Fred
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Old 09-24-12 | 08:21 PM
  #47  
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Originally Posted by otis66
According to this definition I'm a "FRED" because I refused to dress up in a costume to take my bycycle for a ride. What's the term for the guy who thinks he is racing in the Tour De France. Most of the guys I see in there bicycle costumes look like there doing an imitation of 10LBs of bolonga in a 5LB bag. I've never called anyone a name because of the way they were dresses and I've never been called a name for what I was wearing. I did not know I was a "Fred". I just want to get out of the house, and exercise.
Take it easy there, killer. In my experience it's very rarely used in a truly derogatory way. Most people either like the name or use it in good fun.
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Old 09-24-12 | 09:28 PM
  #48  
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MNBikeguy,

"great skills and knowledge, but don't LOOK like they've got a clue" is actually a pretty good definition of a fred.

Well said.

I think I, and other freds probably, fit that description. And that's pretty satisfying.
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Old 09-24-12 | 10:53 PM
  #49  
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Better Fred than dead. (dons crapton of safety gear)
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Old 09-25-12 | 12:43 AM
  #50  
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If you go by the definition of "outrageous amount of safety gear" I was a Fred even as wee tot. I should check to see if we have any photos of me on my first bicycle. My dad said he'd paint it any color I wanted. I chose hi viz green and put reflective yellow star stickers all over it.
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