Is this post real, or "in your dreams"?

I need you on my rides to work.....moving to St Pete anytime soon?

Funny thing, I tried "car-free" just walking before I discovered bicycling. It only lasted about a month and I nearly came to blows several times crossing a street with the crossing signal, with some idiot trying to blow through the right turn honking and red-faced. Some of them were trying to maim me and in some cases it was unambiguously deliberate.

On a bike in the through lane those intersections became no trouble at all. So I kind of agree with you on HTFU or at least the just ride part. I was thinking about this thread this morning, maybe one in three were giving me three feet, some around 2 feet or under. These wouldn't have registered as "close passes" if I hadn't been looking for it. It's just not that big a deal unless they're swerving at you - except for the rare freak they're just trying to get to work and driving by routine habit, the same as the rest of us.

So I was trying to figure out your deal.

Maybe you're so very passionate about your hobby that you just can't help getting confrontational with drivers.

Perhaps in the event of a collision with a motor vehicle and possible disability, your family finances are certain to remain comfortable.

Perhaps you just don't give a **** if you live or die.

At any rate, none of that matters to this conversation, which is about shedding your anger after a close call with a car. I'm assuming you're aware that these situations happen with depressing regularity.

P.S., I'll grant you that 'murder' isn't exact. Manslaughter is better.
P.P.S. Accusations of braggadocio From the fellow who exhorts me to 'harden the **** up?' Seriously?

Say to yourself in the early morning:


I shall meet today inquisitive, ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, uncharitable men.

All these things have come upon them through ignorance of real good and ill.


But I, because I have seen that the nature of good is right, and of ill the wrong, and that the nature of the man himself who does wrong is akin to my own, I can neither be harmed by any of them, for no man will involve me in wrong, nor can I be angry with my kinsmen or hate him, for we have come into the world to work together, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of upper and lower teeth.


To work against one another therefore is to oppose Nature, and to be vexed with one another or to turn away from him is to tend to antagonism.


Marcus Aurelius - Meditations

And I try my best to remember it.

M.

it's "public menacing" anyway sounds like a crime ... kinda like bullying

I have to counter it with humor. It's the only thing that takes my mind off of it.

I just imagine seeing myself in third person getting extremely animated and pissed off at the cars and then laugh at myself and my goofy imagination. I often think "You just can't fix stupid", too. When possible, I just try to avoid stopping along side the jerks at intersections, though.

I don't grab it in the first place......

Close calls,yelling stuff,crap in the street,cars running red lights,funky smells......Operation Normal

Are we having fun yet?..... This is what keeps us young and full of spunk!......

You are forgetting that this is Bike Forums, a fantasy world where the distinction between reality and dreamland is blurry at best.

+1

There are bad drivers that cause near misses constantly with other drivers as well. Just this morning I had a large SUV cutting in and out of lanes at 70 MPH to squeak ahead 1 car length nearly take out my front quarter panel. I had to slam on my brakes so they could squeeze in after their 2 seconds of blinker notified me they were going to force themselves into my lane. They guy behind me had to act quick too. Accidents at that speed can be fatal and the guy was a moron, but you have to let it go. I'm sure they'll cause an accident at some point in time. You can't drive like that regularly and not, so hopefully they don't cause any major damage and learn their lesson.

There are bad cyclists, drivers, and pedestrians and the bad ones always stick out, but you have to remember there are far more good ones than bad.

This


BF is for the Dungeons and Dragons riders. The nerd table at your Jr. High School debating which version of Star Trek was the best.


To stay mildly on-topic . . . I found an American flag that blew off of one of those window poles you see on hillbillymobiles, and put it over the
bag I had on my rack, and got instant respect. Really, putting the flag on my chunker bike resulted in more passing space than I had ever had, previously.

maybe its because there isnt a "walking" forum? because around here, being a pedestrian is statistically more dangerous than cycling...

OK , so I have a plan now. I will condense all the posts to several thoughts. Don't yell at them, but think to yourself they are a lower life form/mouth breather. Point to their car and tell them they have a tail light out ( confusion). Tell them Jesus loves them. Or shout at them " I love jelly doughnuts"( wacko). I live in MA so I have very thick skin as both a biker and driver. The level of arrogance and self entitlement on the roads is only to believed first hand. It's the really outrageous acts ( as me on a bike) that still tend to get under my skin. More yoga and post ride beers perhaps.

"To get angry is to lose the game." --Harry Reingold, my father, RIP

Try to let it roll off your back. Remember, a bad day on the bike is better than a good day in the car.

That is, by far, my favorite quote from Harry of all the quotes I have heard.

Kind (and humorous) of you to say that. He was a legend of some sort. He played squash at a club owned by a very old fashioned lady. She had a strict rule of no cursing at the club. Well, my father would make lots of bad moves on the squash court, and he had a tendency to curse at himself for those moves. He had to change curse words into his own name. Miss a shot: "Harry!"

It became a trend. Whenever anyone did anything frustrating on the court, they would yell, "Harry!"

I do not let "it" go.
I put "it" deep inside, next to the others...
I put them there because someday I will need them.
One day, they will ignite, producing by-products like sweat and maybe tears, but mostly rage.
Once that last straw is added and the camel's back gives way, I'm going to need all of "it".
At this point, my vision will most likely be tunneled and there will be deafening ringing in my ears that only I can hear.
This will be the end, undoubtedly for myself, but probably for others, for those who get "too close".
Maybe they were trying to prove a point, or maybe my lights were not bright enough and they simply could not see me.
Maybe I no longer care.
Maybe "it" has won.

Hey ace, you don't happen to work at the post office, do you?

Your dad knew the rules for sure.

When confronting the staus quo it's common to assume that you are "angry". In reality, I am far more worried about injury or death due to my own choices as a cyclist than the actions of motorists, pedestrians, or other cyclists. This is borne out by my own personal stats over the past ~27 years of cycling for transportation (also for fitness, sport, sado-masochistic pleasure, socialization, genuine pleasure etc.). I've broken bones and mortified my flesh several times while cycline and yet...somehow...none of those injuries were the fault of another human being. (My only collisions with motorvehicles or human-powered vehicles either caused no injury or only damaged my bike.)

Edited: Can't be bragging in a thread where I accused someone else of braggadocio.

On the other hand,

Not anymore since my wrongful termination. More to come on that later....


I kid, I kid

I wish stupid drivers were a dream. But they are very real. I carry pepper spray for dogs and a collapsible baton for anything else. I can slice your tires and break all your windows before you dial 911 and tell them the guy you just tried to run over than verbally assault is going to hurt you.

And the only reason your car won't have bullet holes is because California is still working on its ccw laws.

Yeah, that's a tough one.

Long ago my wife (she's a therapist) taught me a thought stopping technique. It really works for things like this (fleeting issues). Thought stopping is not well thought of for Behavioral Therapy any more because it does not work long term for issues that don't go away (like cancer). It's hard to forget that you or a loved one is sick. But for getting passed closely on my bike I find the technique works.

Find some poem or speech that you really like. Not General Patton's speeches, but something more neutral. Like the Gettysburg Address. Memorize it best you can. Then every time someone buzzes you, allow yourself maybe 30 seconds to blow up, then start saying your "prayer". Assuming you have to think about it - especially since no one really talks like Abe Lincoln anymore - there is no way you can pull the Gettysburg Address from long term memory AND continue blowing up at the @$$h@t who buzzed you. By the time you get to "and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth" enough time has passed where it will seem silly to get all foamed-up again.

I actually use the Oakland Raiders' poem (I'm an old Raiders fan and the poem brings back childhood memories). There are several words in there I never use myself, so I really have to think about it. Viola! The offending thought vanishes like smoke on a windy day! (I might have to run through it two or three times if I am really pissed).

Autumn Wind
By Steve Sabol

The autumn wind is a pirate
Blustering in from sea
With a rollicking song
He sweeps along
Swaggering boisterously

His face is weather-beaten
He wears a hooded sash
With a silver hat about his head
And a bristling black moustache

He growl as he storms the country
A villain big and bold
And the trees all shake
And quiver and quake
As he robs them of their gold

The autumn wind is a Raider
Pillaging just for fun
He’ll knock you ‘round
And upside down
And laugh when he’s conquered and won.

On thing that I have found helpful is to concentrate on the next good interaction with a motorist.

Next time someone passes wide, or waits patiently, give them a little wave and think about that instead of focussing on the previous negative experience.

Take out your keys and put a scratch on the side of their car. If every cyclist did this when a car was irresponsible or mean towards them, it could serve as a warning to other cyclists, as well as a small penance for the car. Some cars would look like the walls of a jail cell I'm sure.

(I'm joking by the way)