Originally Posted by Kindaslow

I am in the mental health world, more diagnostic than treatment (I am purposefully being vague and won't answer questions

Dave, you are not being a coward, nor an ass. You are showing a great deal of courage and doing a great job. Keep moving forward, even if small steps, even if one step forward and one step backward. Focus on what you accomplish, not your perceived failures (because, they are not real failures). You are doing a lot of things right!

Originally Posted by DaveQ24

Wow, really overwhelmed by the responses, thank you so much. So, my morning ride was actually really great except for a kinda gummy rutted MUP due to hard rain Friday and Saturday. Did just short of 20 miles in an hour forty five, leisure pace looking at birds on migration, plants sprouting up etc. I really do feel a lot better - sore quads are a great tradeoff for feeling calmer. And I do - the endorphins and fresh air really lifted my mood.

There are too many individual responses to acknowledge all, sorry, but I'll adress a few of the comments that struck a chord. Medically on the physical side I'm pretty well covered, I had my annual physical with all the labs 3 weeks ago, and like many of us now have my collection of various doctors I see regularly. But thanks for asking anyway, always a good point.

I have dealt long enough with clients and family members in cases directly involving MH issues, as well as in cases where issues like dementia or depression are factors to know my way around. I'm not adverse to psychiatry if necessary as long as the provider is skilled and comcerned. I do have an adversion to addictive substances, so won't go that route. Psychology ... I think it takes coordination between pharmacologically-based psychiatry and compassionate therapy-based psychological treatment to help some, others psychotherapy alone often works. If problems persist and I have to go that route I would.

Mainly I think I got out of my routine, and let that become a point of contention in my mind. I've always been functionally anxious - I worry a lot about hypotheticals and unlikely events. Keep on telling myself to be more in the present to fight that.

Originally Posted by Wildwood

Anxiety and panic attacks are some of my demons.
Renders me almost helpless at times.
I have developed some coping skills and try not to let it show.

Take-out salmon & avocado rolls? Where are these rolls sold?

Originally Posted by DaveQ24

Just a little strip mall storefront place called Sushi Hana - we have a lot of Sushi/Japanese and also more and more Korean restaurants because of the foreign auto industry transplants.

Originally Posted by DaveQ24

10 miles in about 40 minutes - just a quick warm up ride, need to catch up on other things this morning - and freezing, I underestimated the wind once I was away from the tree-lined neighborhoods. But Da**! I guess I needed to just do this and stop obsessing about not doing it. I can't believe how much better I feel all around.

Originally Posted by DaveQ24

10 miles in about 40 minutes - just a quick warm up ride, need to catch up on other things this morning - and freezing, I underestimated the wind once I was away from the tree-lined neighborhoods. But Da**! I guess I needed to just do this and stop obsessing about not doing it. I can't believe how much better I feel all around.

Originally Posted by Retro Grouch

Great! The more that I ride the more that I want to ride again tomorrow. I always feel better in the evening after I have ridden. The more days that I skip the harder it is to get myself motivated to ride.