I'm so slow that ...

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08-01-10 | 08:00 PM

#76

billydonn

Council of the Elders

Joined: Jul 2008

Posts: 3,759

Likes: 3

From: Omaha, NE

Bikes: 1990 Schwinn Crosscut, 5 Lemonds

I am unable to keep up with my headlight beam when riding at night.

08-01-10 | 08:02 PM

#77

cranky old dude

Senior Member

Joined: Jul 2006

Posts: 4,260

Likes: 3

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retro Grouch

I climb like a lead balloon.

The bride and I used to hang out in a club named "Lead Balloon".

08-02-10 | 05:09 AM

#78

cyclinfool

gone ride'n

Joined: Aug 2007

Posts: 4,050

Likes: 2

From: Upstate NY

Bikes: Simoncini, Gary Fisher, Specialized Tarmac

Begone you Zombie

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08-02-10 | 05:36 AM

#79

knzn

Senior Member

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 177

Likes: 0

From: Wichita Kansas

Bikes: 1 comfort bike, a 1988-ish Rockhopper Comp that I like a lot, and 1 1973 sears 10 speed that needs restored or a new home.And now a Trek 1000.

I'm so slow that I'd have to speed up to go backwards.

08-02-10 | 07:47 AM

#80

2manybikes

Senior Member

Joined: Jun 2003

Posts: 18,138

Likes: 324

Bikes: 2 many

I'm so slow that I can't finish th.................

08-02-10 | 08:05 AM

#81

sojourn

Senior Member

Joined: Apr 2007

Posts: 826

Likes: 0

From: San Marcos, CA

Bikes: Domane 9.0 sl

I'm so slow a spider weaved a web across my handlebars while I was riding! (look to the left of my thumb and you can see his web)..........LOL.......I was 30 miles into my ride btw!

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08-02-10 | 10:04 AM

#82

The Weak Link

Banned.

Joined: Jan 2006

Posts: 4,938

Likes: 9

From: Post-partisan Paradise

Bikes: GF Wahoo '05, Trek T1000 '04, Lemond Buenos Aires '07

It is said that you can see your future if you look into Chuck Norris' eyes.

Unfortunately, the future is always the same: death by round-house kick to the head.

08-02-10 | 10:11 AM

#83

AzTallRider

I need speed

Joined: Sep 2009

Posts: 5,550

Likes: 1

From: Phoenix, AZ

Bikes: Giant Propel, Cervelo P2

I'm so slow I have walker style tennis balls - on my tires.

08-02-10 | 09:18 PM

#84

bjjoondo

Senior Member

Joined: Nov 2008

Posts: 2,116

Likes: 102

From: Colorado Springs, CO.

Bikes: 2011 ICE Sprint Special Edition

I'm so slow that "turtles" offer me bungie cords, when I'm climbling a big hill!

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Take Care, Ride Safe, have FUN! :)
Jo: 2009 ICE Trice T
BJ: 2011 ICE Sprint Special Edition

08-03-10 | 10:13 AM

#85

Retro Grouch

Senior Member

Joined: Feb 2004

Posts: 30,225

Likes: 649

From: St Peters, Missouri

Bikes: Catrike 559 I own some others but they don't get ridden very much.

I once won a race with a tortise. I passed him when he pulled off of the side of the road to take a nap.

08-03-10 | 02:17 PM

#86

AmericanMade

Senior Member

Joined: Apr 2010

Posts: 64

Likes: 0

From: Bucks County PA

Bikes: One

I'm so slow my friends call me trackstand.

I'm so slow a snapping turtle helped me off the road.

I'm so slow on the last hill clime someone installed a placard on me and dedicated me as a town monument.

08-03-10 | 03:08 PM

#87

madpogue

Senior Member

Joined: Jan 2004

Posts: 6,169

Likes: 1,797

From: Madison, WI USA

I'm not saying I'm slow, but they were paving a new trail on the route of my last ride, and they finished ahead of me.

On the ride before that, a snail jumped off my stem so he could get home faster.

On the ride before that, the speed display on my computer just read "Zzzz".

08-03-10 | 07:51 PM

#88

The Weak Link

Banned.

Joined: Jan 2006

Posts: 4,938

Likes: 9

From: Post-partisan Paradise

Bikes: GF Wahoo '05, Trek T1000 '04, Lemond Buenos Aires '07

I once was pretty speedy but I've been slow ever since the team physician gave me opE .

08-03-10 | 09:03 PM

#89

ahsposo

Artificial Member

Joined: Jan 2010

Posts: 7,162

Likes: 7,459

From: The Cloud

Bikes: Retrospec Judd, Dahon Boardwalk, Specialized Langster

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Weak Link

I once was pretty speedy but I've been slow ever since the team physician gave me opE .

The pharmacist probably couldn't read the script...

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08-03-10 | 09:15 PM

#90

ahsposo

Artificial Member

Joined: Jan 2010

Posts: 7,162

Likes: 7,459

From: The Cloud

Bikes: Retrospec Judd, Dahon Boardwalk, Specialized Langster

I'm so slow

I'm slower than Bert

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08-03-10 | 09:25 PM

#91

gcottay

Senior Member

Joined: Jul 2007

Posts: 3,770

Likes: 2

From: Green Valley AZ

Bikes: Trice Q; Volae Century; TT 3.4

I

am

so

slow

this

seems

fast!

08-03-10 | 11:34 PM

#92

Chazzlee

Member

Joined: Jul 2010

Posts: 37

Likes: 0

From: Freehold, NJ

Bikes: Trek 7000 with modified bars, bar end mirrors, rear rack, clamp on forward bar grips, and Brooks B68 saddle.

I'm so slow my hair blows forwards in the wind...

Last edited by Chazzlee; 08-05-10 at 01:01 PM.

08-05-10 | 12:16 PM

#93

pokey1

Senior Member

Joined: Mar 2010

Posts: 109

Likes: 0

From: western maine

Pokey1 says it all!!!

08-05-10 | 02:24 PM

#94

Booger1

Senior Member

Joined: Sep 2007

Posts: 3,741

Likes: 12

From: Gaseous Cloud around Uranus

They have to tie me to the chicken to cross the road!

There's a full cycle of the moon on a normal commute day!

I had hair at the beginning of the commute to the store!

Concrete had replaced wagon wheel ruts on my daily commute!

The sidewalls of my tires rot before the nibs are worn off!

My beard got caught in the front wheel before I made to work!

I started getting liver spots before I made around the block!

Last edited by Booger1; 08-05-10 at 02:46 PM.

08-06-10 | 05:40 AM

#95

Jamesw2

Senior Member

Joined: Feb 2010

Posts: 816

Likes: 1

From: Houston TX area

Bikes: Trek 1420 triple, Mercier Corvus, Globe 1 700, Surly Disc Trucker, GT Avalanche, GT Grade, GT Helion, Mercier Corvus, Motobacane Boris X7 Fat Bikes,

I'm so slow That

I am so slow that is sight of a half an hour other riders are two days in front of me.

I am so slow that dogs that waiting to chase me die of old age before i get to them

08-06-10 | 11:36 AM

#96

Chilidawg

Senior Member

Joined: Jul 2010

Posts: 56

Likes: 1

From: NW lower michigan

I'm so slow that when I haul @$$ i have to make two trips

08-06-10 | 12:59 PM

#97

rnorris

Senior Member

Joined: May 2005

Posts: 976

Likes: 0

From: Flagstaff, AZ

Bikes: Marin Pt. Reyes, Gary Fisher HiFi Pro, Easy Racers Gold Rush recumbent, Cannondale F600

....everyone who passes me does a spectral red shift.

08-06-10 | 02:06 PM

#98

madpogue

Senior Member

Joined: Jan 2004

Posts: 6,169

Likes: 1,797

From: Madison, WI USA

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chilidawg

I'm so slow that when I haul @$$ i have to make two trips

I think that's more of an "I'm so fat that...." entry

.

On my last ride, the badeffin' neighborhood dogs got lazy and sent a snapping turtle to chase me.

08-06-10 | 03:00 PM

#99

Artkansas

Pedaled too far.

Joined: Oct 2005

Posts: 12,851

Likes: 9

From: La Petite Roche

The immovable object just dropped me.

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"He who serves all, best serves himself" Jack London

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bjforrestal

I don't care if you are on a unicycle, as long as you're not using a motor to get places you get props from me. We're here to support each other. Share ideas, and motivate one another to actually keep doing it.