Some of you guys are way too serious. Never had a bad couple of days riding/exercising/living?
I said up front it was a rant - by definition, speaking in an extravagant manner.
Whether the steady winds were 1mph or 100mph really doesn't matter. For 2 days I had "issues".
"Blaming" that on "an invisible force of Nature" ??? Come on, guys.

It's called self-deprecating, tongue-in-cheek humor.
Some people obviously caught the joke and others didn't.

When I lived in the remote north west coast of western australia I joined a small group and we cycled every wednesday about 5 miles to point samson and back. The way out to the point was good because it was a tailwind but coming home was murder. I was the newbie in the group and one female who rode with us could see me falling back. She called to me say that I should fall in behind her and ride as close as I could. She had a nice booty and I had no problem keeping up with the pace from that point onwards.

If I owned a turbine which generated electricity by virtue of air moving the blades of the turbine, then I would be a big fan of wind. I don't own such a turbine; therefore, I'm not a big fan of wind. Someone on BF called it "horizontal hills". I concur. I can take hills, which have a beginning and an end.

By the way, I lived in NOLA a number of years ago when I was in grad school but wasn't active in road cycling then. Someday, I'd like to return with the bike, ride, and eat.

But on the other side of every head wind, they're a tail wind.

I live in in central Alberta, Canada and use my watch to measure my ineptitude. I cycled to work the other day at -7C for 12 kms. and it took me just over a half an hour(say 20-23 kph). I live on the prairie where we get wind all the time. On a windy day, it takes me 50 minutes. Sure I have to work at it, but it doesn't hurt all the time; only when I breathe. The icy winds make my eyes water, but that hides the tears from the pain I'm experiencing. Since my open heart surgery, I can't get past 35 kph without notifying my cardiologist and the heart medications I'm forced to take are getting more expensive everyday. The tension I experience while riding makes me worry about ED developing, not to mention my hemorrhoids are acting up, and thank God the cold weather has reduced the mosquito population down to tolerable levels. Oh, did I mention the wind chill factor? Or how about the trucks and cell phone using SUVs that I have to avoid going around those little icy patches without being squashed by a flatbed hauling drill stem. But it isn't all bad: the 40 year old bike I ride is still younger than me and I don't cash any pension cheques for another two years. What, me worry.
Hey take what you do seriously but never take yourself too seriously. There's always a car.

Funny... yesterday I had to ride across the city and thought I was going to get blown off the road.

Even worse than a bad headwind is a stiff crosswind where it isn't coming straight on so you have to work to maintain a line and work extra hard to move forward.

Plus, the crosswind still feels like a headwind on the return leg...

You clearly have never ridden in Rochester. I swear, there are days I can ride in all four cardinal directions and have a headwind in three of them!

Haha, there's been a few days like that in the hills nearby, it's bloody horrible. And, no, I've never been to Rochester

I looped down to Wash park in Denver today. 65F temps and encountered a weather cell on the way back. Heck of a headwind with some rain. The cool thing is that the leaves were blowing around like crazy and made it even more interesting. All in all it wasn't that bad and it was actually pretty with all the leaves blowing around.
I did briefly lament the fact that I took my FG out but it has drops. No biggie.
Wind isn't always bad.

It's god's way of telling you that you're riding in the wrong direction.

I whole heartedly agree. I HATE HEADWINDS! Yes they are part of cycyling. Yes I deal. That doesn't mean I half to like it.

I have heard of this "tail wind" phenomena, but have never experienced it.

There have been days when I've spent all morning feeling like I'm riding through molasses such was the force of the headwind, but stayed positive by telling myself "It's OK, this will be a tail wind on the way home". Then, right at the point I turn around, every branch, every flag, every blade of grass suddenly snaps to attention and begins to lean the other way. More than once I have caused heads to turn by yelling out in frustration.

In my book, "training" is something you do because you have to, not because you want to.

What that really means is that you're too fast. Don't worry about it.

When I first started cycling, I hated headwinds. But as time passed, I either just grew accustomed or gradually learned to crouch down a bit and also slow down a bit. You get there a bit slower, but... hey... it's better than driving.

The only real solution I have ever found for a headwind is to cover the bike computer with something or just take it off the bike.