Go Back  Bike Forums > Bike Forums > Road Cycling
Reload this Page >

Lance's new snot

Search
Notices
Road Cycling “It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” -- Ernest Hemingway

Lance's new snot

Thread Tools
 
Search this Thread
 
Old 02-22-09 | 12:37 PM
  #1  
Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,051
Likes: 0
From: Cambridge, UK

Bikes: Specialized Allez (2007)

Lance's new snot

I heard that he got this upgrade where his bogies are black and yellow. It was meant to be top secret until the tour, to make his snot rockets as intimidating as his mighty guads, but some journalist found some of his used kleenex while rifling through his rubbish in search of doping products. They tested the mucus for EPO, it was negative, but apparently it's a cure for cancer, and enables the user to walk on water.
Basil Moss is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 12:44 PM
  #2  
patentcad's Avatar
Peloton Shelter Dog
 
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 90,508
Likes: 32
From: Chester, NY

Bikes: 2017 Scott Foil, 2016 Scott Addict SL, 2018 Santa Cruz Blur CC MTB

Originally Posted by Basil Moss
I heard that he got this upgrade where his bogies are black and yellow. It was meant to be top secret until the tour, to make his snot rockets as intimidating as his mighty guads, but some journalist found some of his used kleenex while rifling through his rubbish in search of doping products. They tested the mucus for EPO, it was negative, but apparently it's a cure for cancer, and enables the user to walk on water.
BF Humor is better when it's actually funny Basil.
patentcad is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 12:46 PM
  #3  
★ ★ ★
 
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,073
Likes: 0
fail.
3MTA3 is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 12:56 PM
  #4  
Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,051
Likes: 0
From: Cambridge, UK

Bikes: Specialized Allez (2007)

Humor? No no, you've got me wrong. I decided that a quick sargasm was the only way to get over the boredom of the endless "Lance..." threads. Sorry if my self help session impinged on your Lance worship...
Basil Moss is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 12:57 PM
  #5  
travkat's Avatar
Go as fast as you can
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 733
Likes: 0
From: San Marcos

Bikes: Ritte Bosberg with SRAM Red and Mavic Cosmic Carbone SL's

Sorry Basil....this post = fail
travkat is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 09:52 PM
  #6  
Magnesium Dogmatic
 
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,939
Likes: 0
From: Long Beach, CA

Bikes: Look 585 Ultra, Pinarello Dogma, Pegoretti Duende, Orbea, Cannondale Capo

Originally Posted by Basil Moss
Humor? No no, you've got me wrong. I decided that a quick sargasm was the only way to get over the boredom of the endless "Lance..." threads. Sorry if my self help session impinged on your Lance worship...
Oh, Basil, I haven't had a sargasm in a long time...

haimtoeg is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 09:54 PM
  #7  
patentcad's Avatar
Peloton Shelter Dog
 
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 90,508
Likes: 32
From: Chester, NY

Bikes: 2017 Scott Foil, 2016 Scott Addict SL, 2018 Santa Cruz Blur CC MTB

Originally Posted by Basil Moss
Humor? No no, you've got me wrong. I decided that a quick sargasm was the only way to get over the boredom of the endless "Lance..." threads. Sorry if my self help session impinged on your Lance worship...
Sarcasm is better when it's funny Basil.
patentcad is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 09:55 PM
  #8  
patentcad's Avatar
Peloton Shelter Dog
 
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 90,508
Likes: 32
From: Chester, NY

Bikes: 2017 Scott Foil, 2016 Scott Addict SL, 2018 Santa Cruz Blur CC MTB

I have jars in my spice rack called Basil.
patentcad is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 10:00 PM
  #9  
juneeaa memba!
Sheldon Brown Memorial - Donating
20 Anniversary
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 5,631
Likes: 5
From: boogled up in...Idaho!

Bikes: Crap. The box is not big enough...

Rerun Lance on the Cole Grade, today. Now that was funny.

For Astana, anyway.
luker is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 10:01 PM
  #10  
cedricbosch's Avatar
W.W.DZ.D?
 
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,979
Likes: 0
From: Arizona
cedricbosch is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 10:02 PM
  #11  
Senior Member
 
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,072
Likes: 612
From: Seattle

Bikes: my precious steel boys

that's a 1
sheddle is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 10:03 PM
  #12  
Senior Member
 
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 527
Likes: 0
You're all miserable, depressing, antagonistic people. Not everyone's a comedian.
scr660 is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 10:05 PM
  #13  
patentcad's Avatar
Peloton Shelter Dog
 
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 90,508
Likes: 32
From: Chester, NY

Bikes: 2017 Scott Foil, 2016 Scott Addict SL, 2018 Santa Cruz Blur CC MTB

Originally Posted by scr660
You're all miserable, depressing, antagonistic people.
It's a way of life.
patentcad is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 10:05 PM
  #14  
foamy's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 772
Likes: 0
From: The Land of Pleasant Living

Bikes: Trek 630 • Jamis Quest • Bilenky Tourlite and various others

"sargasm"? Is that what was found in the tissues? What the... ? I'm worried now.
foamy is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 10:06 PM
  #15  
patentcad's Avatar
Peloton Shelter Dog
 
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 90,508
Likes: 32
From: Chester, NY

Bikes: 2017 Scott Foil, 2016 Scott Addict SL, 2018 Santa Cruz Blur CC MTB

Originally Posted by scr660
Not everyone's a comedian.
F'em.
patentcad is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 10:06 PM
  #16  
invwnut's Avatar
I don't even own a cat...
 
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 424
Likes: 0
From: Indianapolis

Bikes: 2008 LG sonix 6.4, 2002 KHS Flite 500, 1999 Big Sur Gary Fisher

Can I have the minute that I spent reading this post back? I thought it may have been something worthwhile reading.
invwnut is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 10:09 PM
  #17  
patentcad's Avatar
Peloton Shelter Dog
 
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 90,508
Likes: 32
From: Chester, NY

Bikes: 2017 Scott Foil, 2016 Scott Addict SL, 2018 Santa Cruz Blur CC MTB

What is this the Can You Top This Stupid Thread Contest around here this weekend? The level of competition is impressive.
patentcad is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 10:13 PM
  #18  
Pedal faster not harder.
 
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 576
Likes: 0
From: Thunder Bay

Bikes: Ummmm...Cannondale F4000..Ummmmm...Yeti ARC-X Cyclocross..Ummmm...Rocky Mountain Vertex TO with a BionX PL350 Electric Conversion...Ummmmm..Rocky Mountain Cardiac..Ummmm..thats it for now I think. I'd have to go look in the basement to be sure.

Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong.



Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong.



Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong.



Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong.


Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong.



Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong.



Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong.




Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong.



Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong.



Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong.


Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong.



Just saying.......
LesMcLuffAlot is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 10:16 PM
  #19  
Senior Member
 
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 527
Likes: 0
Originally Posted by patentcad
What is this the Can You Top This Stupid Thread Contest around here this weekend? The level of competition is impressive.
Says the ring leader
scr660 is offline  
Reply
Old 02-22-09 | 10:22 PM
  #20  
Ratfish's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,016
Likes: 0
From: Mêlée Island
It's our own fault for clicking on a thread entitled, "Lance's new snot."
Ratfish is offline  
Reply
Old 02-23-09 | 12:55 AM
  #21  
Senior Member
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 359
Likes: 0
From: Tokyo, Japan
I liked it...
Hendley is offline  
Reply
Old 02-23-09 | 01:35 AM
  #22  
Randochap's Avatar
Recovering mentalist
 
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,810
Likes: 2
From: On the Edge

Bikes: Too many

Originally Posted by Ratfish
It's our own fault for clicking on a thread entitled, "Lance's new snot."
shiht! I read it quickly and thought it said: "Lance news not"

Imagine my dismay
Randochap is offline  
Reply
Old 02-23-09 | 02:25 AM
  #23  
Gar Vanderosa's Avatar
Member
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 30
Likes: 0
From: Ontario, Canada
Yeah, the Lance worship is out of line.

Fleche Wallonne, twice 2nd at Liege and Amstel, San Sebastian, World Champ in Oslo.

You'd think that would be enough for most people to raise a glass.
Gar Vanderosa is offline  
Reply
Old 02-23-09 | 02:43 AM
  #24  
KiddSisko's Avatar
Has coddling tendencies.
 
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,360
Likes: 59
From: Topanga Canyon

Bikes: 2008 Blue RC8 w/ '09 Rival

My main complaint is that the word bogies is spelled wrong. It's boogies. Two entirely different things. A bogie is an unknown aerial target to fighter pilots. It's also a railroad term to define the undercarriage of a railcar. And it's also a term for a cigar or cigarette. Boogies is definitely the word you wanted, Basil. And don't give me any of that Queen's English crap as an excuse. Other than that, the premise had promise, but the delivery was weak.

Advise: You best get used to Lance threads for the foreseeable future.
KiddSisko is offline  
Reply
Old 02-23-09 | 06:13 AM
  #25  
patentcad's Avatar
Peloton Shelter Dog
 
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 90,508
Likes: 32
From: Chester, NY

Bikes: 2017 Scott Foil, 2016 Scott Addict SL, 2018 Santa Cruz Blur CC MTB

Originally Posted by scr660
Says the ring leader
It's good to get the recognition I deserve.
patentcad is offline  
Reply


Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2026 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.