DScott

For sure. I'm just not a huge fan of being preached at, as I 'm sure neither are you. Especially by those aspiring to newer and higher levels of sanctimony.

FWIW, the diamonds in my wife's ring were found, cut, and set before most of us were born. It'd be a shame for all that hard work to go to waste now, wouldn't it.

Besides, I view it as recycling. Just thinking "green" and doing the earth a favor, which I understand is all the rage these days.

sci_femme

Er....Did anyone noticed that the article is from 1982? That we had entire generation time to undo the damage inflicted by DeBeers? And chose to waste this opportunity.
On the other hand - no pun intended - will someone explain it to me, why chicks are sooo eager to wear what essentially amounts to a "No Trespass" sign, sometimes for years, before HE says "I Do" and gets his own?
My hands are bare, Mr. sci_femme hands are bare, 20th anniversary of filing jointly is next week. Go figure....

Ride safe

SF

Garfield Cat

Most of the Jewelry Districts, Los Angeles, New York, work the same way. Since you're in New Jersey, its close to New York's diamond district. I can only speak about my experiences in Los Angeles.

The 550 S. Hill Street building is the main location for precious stones. It houses all the craftsmen to create the mounting and the wholesalers with the cut diamonds. In fact, one can go to Tiffany's and pick several nice mountings and get practically the same or better, created by those craftsmen. The diamond itself, for engagements is considered by the wholesalers as their "bread and butter" type diamonds. Not really investment grade but good enough for engagement. Now, if you're a wealthy entertainer or sports star like Kobe Bryant, then that's different.

Trust is the biggest thing in the wholesale jewelry district. Trust amongst their own kind and trust amongst the consumer. This is where it gets tricky. Many wholesalers go to Belgium like Antwerp to buy diamonds to resell in the U.S. Once here, the wholesalers will then trade amongst themselves depending on customer demands. Knowing a trustworthy dealer is the first and foremost thing. You'll get expert advice about good price point and good value compared to retail mall stores.

Sorry I cannot tell you about New York, but I do know about L.A. which might help you. Send me a private message, if you care.

urbanknight

Our wedding bands came from the Green Karat, apparently using recycled gold and environmentally conscious platinum. We even paid the voluntary carbon offset tax. I'm not too fond of the quality, however. 2 or the 4 cz rocks (yeah, I convinced her one real diamond was enough) have fallen out of hers in the first 3 years. Few local jewelers seem to know how to work with my specific alloy of gold and palladium, so when I got it resized, it came out with a working mark leaving a stripe where it was rejoined.


It's hard to undo what a large entity does. People would rather believe what is already established than new and wild information (i.e. the world being round), and some stranger preaching this information is deemed crazy until he has proof... which DeBeers has obviously worked hard to keep hidden.

I tried to convince my wife that a diamond ring was against everything she stood for as a nature loving, peace advocating feminist. She just said I can wear a "no trespassing" sign too.

Doesn't filing taxes jointly cost more? I'm tempted to get a divorce just because of how much extra they are charging us in taxes.

Tunnelrat81

I also bought the diamond separately, then went locally to a shop (with my now wife) to get her opinion on a setting to put it in. We ended up designing the setting out of ring component book at the Jewelers. They ordered the parts and put them together for us. My wife has small hands so I was able to get a smaller very high quality diamond from an EXCELLENT shop out in New York within my pricerange. I got better customer support over the phone than I would EVER expect from a local "mall jewelry store" locally. Seriously unbelievable help.

The thing to remember is that every single jewelry shop and especially internet diamond stores ALL have access to the same "pool" of diamonds. So there's no real reason to buy from one over the other based on perceived brand quality.

Also, there's quite a bit more that goes into making a diamond beautiful than simply the 4 C's that most shops will explain to you. I couldn't be happier with my choice. The Local jeweler that I used to create the setting REALLY wanted to sell me the diamond as well, but had to concede that I had chosen a great diamond once he saw it, and even said he'd be happy to offer a trade in the future for it if I ever decided I wanted a larger stone. The shop I bought the diamond from also has a very educational website, https://www.goodoldgold.com/ . Once I gave them a size/quality/price range to them, they went to work over the next 3-4 weeks, periodically sending emails with info on different diamonds that I might be interested in. They do all their own "light performance" testing in house, so they were able to give me real information far beyond the 4c values long before I made a decision.

The whole experience was wonderful, and my wife couldn't have been happier with the ring. Oh, and I bought her a nice road bike a year or so later. =)

Here's a close-up of the (very basic but classy) stone and setting that we ended up with. As you can see I chose the hearts and arrows (round brilliant) cut. Our jeweler told us that the "hearts and arrows" wouldn't be visible once it was in it's setting, but as you can see, it's quite easily visible (arrows at least, since you view them from the table side of the stone.) And yes, I got a little "into" the research and shopping process, but it was worth every minute.

Good luck with your hunt.

-Jeremy

Hot Potato

I took her with me to some stores. I wanted to know what she liked. Unfortunately, she overheard me asking the salesperson "that's a stock number, right?"

In the end I let her pick something out because she had figured out where prices ended and stock numbers began. It was more than I figured the occasion required, but isn't that always so?

Now she has custom. She took many stones from the rings of dead relatives and incorporated them into a new custom band with the engagement stone on top. The new ring is high on bling, very high, but not because I overspent all those years ago.

sci_femme

It does, it does, but we do it anyway, don't we? And willingness to endure the pain of joint return is the ray of hope that institution of marriage will survive, baubles or no baubles!

*Steps off the soapbox*

SF

brumskee

A ring would have been cheaper, my wife wanted and got a Ghisallo/ Campy Record.

mattm

Have we discussed blood diamonds yet?

Cue

It's not relevant.

stapfam

I did the same but I was skint- so she bought it.

I am still a cheapskate but having been married for 35 years- she must be happy.

roccobike

The first lady I was engaged to wanted a 2K diamond or no marriage. So I bought her a 2K diamond. That wasn't the last of the demands. Finally I got fed up with I want, I want, I want and called off the engagment. (Smart move)
I met the second woman I proposed to. Her choice was a 3/4K diamond because we needed the rest of my savings for a down payment on a house She's a keeper! A whole bunch of years later, we're still together and she fully supports my cycling habit.

To the OP: I'd buy her what she wants and forget about the carbon whatever if the ring she wants is reasonable. From what you've said she sounds like a keeper.

Captain Insano

Whatever rock you buy, make sure the stone is secure in its setting. My wife's diamond fell out of her ring after about 10 years of continuous wear (one of the four prongs had bent open), and we couldn't find it anywhere. Combed the carpets, hand sifted through the vacuum cleaner lint, took the sinks apart, you name it, we tried it. After just about giving up after weeks of searching, I found it on the kitchen windowsill, hidden under the blinds.

Took it to a jeweler, and he redesigned the setting with six big thick prongs. It makes the stone a little less prominent, but that sucker's still in there after 26 years of marriage. You don't want to buy another stone, believe me - make sure the first one is secure.

urbanknight

Yes, we have.


Some of the larger retailers offer a lifetime guarantee on the setting. If my wife's falls out, they will replace it with a diamond of same weight and clarity.

NickDavid

Wow, I stopped at a diamond dealer in NYC's diamond district on Friday. He showed me some top quality diamonds and wow, they were expensive. A 1.26 carat XXX diamond was roughly $9,000. Holy lord!

i just read through this forum and can't believe it's up to 8 pages!

To the guys giving me crap about my bike vs. ring comment... you guys need a sense of humor, badly. This is a bike forum.

My heart goes out to the guys who dumped all that money into a ring, only to get divorced or have it end before the wedding. That's got to be horrible. Did you get the ring back?

My woman and I have discussed the whole diamond thing and I am listening to what she would like. Thankfully, she likes something simple (I can be persuasive). Start off with a solitaire probably and in the future, upgrade the band. I'm not sure yet. I was really overwhelmed when I saw the size to price ratio and how a lot of money doesn't really get you a large stone. I feel even worse for guys with high maintenance women who will be pressured into a 2carat xxx stone. OUCH!

My search continues and I'll update as it moves along.

Next question will probably be.... How did you guys pop the question? Ha!

silversx80

For a piece of carbon?!?!


Well, I spent a bit too much on a piece of carbon, but at least I get to pedal it.

urbanknight

That brings up something, if you're concerned over this. As far as I remember, if the ring can be perceived as a gift (given on or near her b-day, Christmas, Valentine's Day, etc.), she might be legally entitled to keep it no matter what happens. Given any other day, if you cancel the wedding, she can keep the ring. If she cancels, she is required to give it back because she's breaking the implied contract.

As was mentioned by someone earlier, go to 0.99 and below and you will see the price of the rock drop dramatically. I'd bet you find a .9 of the same clarity for half that of the rock you saw for $9000.

garethzbarker

i'll give you some advice that my old professor from my college days gave me that helped a lot: A woman might act like she wants to be surprised but what she won't tell you is that she wants to pick out the ring. She has to wear the damn thing forever.
Take your fiance to the jewelry shop of her choice and let her pick out a couple of rings she really adores , bit the bullet and buy the most expensive of the two the next day alone. Then act like it never happened. Congrats dude, my fiance and I just made it official, we've been fighting errr i mean dating for six years

tallmantim

FWIW, I've just been through the process of buying my wife a solitare for her 40th.

Size is king IMO above non-noticeable flaws or colour. I got a 1.13 carrat VS2 F colour diamond that also "fluoressed" - whatever that means!

A nice sized rock with flaws that you need a loup to notice (LOL - just like me!) for AU$6250 - set in a nice 6 claw (ie - the sucker is not going to be lost with a single claw break) hand built ring.

Cheers

crhilton

I thought that was "k" for thousand. But its "k" for karat. Yea, I put less than that down on my house...

crhilton

That's what I don't understand. No offense, you do your thing. But I'm not all about this upgrading the "forever" "representation of our love and commitment" when we've got the money.

BillyD

Main difference is the diamond can withstand an infinite number of horrific crashes and emerge unscathed.

silversx80

Hit it with a hammer

Blacklab78

Buy the diamond and then propose - Only with the diamond...nice clear solitare - nobody dislikes them.

Then go and design the band together, then while you're at the jewellers start trying on some Tag's, Omega's (or my fav Panerai) etc. and drop a hint or 3.

Hahaha

kuf

I could not imagine having that much money on my hand. I just felt like I would be a target for theft or would lose it some other way. I almost did lose it once when we were camping. I was cooking when a gigantic bug landed on my hand from out of nowhere. I flicked my hand to get the bug off. I was so shaken that I did not notice that the ring was gone until later in the evening. It was dark and we couldn't find it until the next morning after scouring the campsite. (That is one reason I wear my wedding band outside the engagement ring- it protects the ring and is much cheaper to replace.)

Here are our rings: